November 1, 2011
So this is the first time that I have not written a blog post in a very long time. I usually try to keep up weekly on them for both my own sanity and to also tell you what I have been up to, but I am not really sure what happened with this month. It has been a month since my last blog post and actually it has been really hard to try and sit down and write this. I am not sure exactly why either because it is not like something horrible has happened although Claire did finally leave me, so this might count as a horrible event although she has found love once again and I think is coming back in February for another long haul possibly. This would be amazing although she would be living on Zanzibar which while it would be awesome is still a trek away so I really would not see her that much. But anyways this month has been crazy in a very good way but any time I went to write any of it down I just had a really hard time like I just wasn’t ready yet or I had writers block, not really sure but it is all going to come out now as I have a layover in Ethiopia which I have to say is surprisingly cold at the moment. Another odd thing is that I am waiting in the terminal and almost everyone is black which I am of course used to but I just thought that since I am going to the US I would see more white people. Also a lot of them are gorgeous. Also I am carrying a 2 ½ foot tall giraffe with me throughout this journey so this must be getting some laughs from some people but I am really excited about it, I think it is going to Andrew’s house warming gift.
So lets tell ya about this month, it has been a whirlwind as usual. I started out the month with a good bye party for Claire which I think I already talked about and then I headed up to Tanga which is on the coast for a Training of Trainers seminar. I am going to be teaching the new volunteers so I got a trip up north which was awesome because I did not necessarily associate the north with happy times. I mean homestay is such a weird time. So much is going on and I also do not like to visit places that I have left. Not sure if this makes sense but I rarely go back to places I used to work and so on and so forth I am not sure why, I just do not. Anyways Tanga was AMAZING. I had a great time with amazing people. I got to go swimming in the ocean which of course was amazing and then I ate a ton of good food. I had coconut crab which was huge, I expected maybe a claw or 2. I swear I got to whole crabs, all for like $6. Ya got to love the sea. Then me and my Friend Rebecca saw some monkeys so of course we went to look at them and right as she went to take a picture they started running at us. So we ran like hell. Not sure if they would of actually hurt me but who wants to take that chance I have enough problems with animals as it is. After this I went to Dodoma because we are planning a girl’s conference with about 8 other volunteers. I am really excited about this because this means a lot of interaction with other volunteers which is always fun and the girls will get to see a new place and meet some new people.
As for work, I have been really busy. Randi and me got 15 boxes of books each from an NGO
called PEN TRUST. It was amazing, we were thinking that we would get like a box or 2 but no we got like 700 books each. So I think are secondary schools are on cloud 9 at the moment with this one. And to top it all off, it was all free we just had to go pick them up. Then just before I left my chickens started showing up. I got the cocks first. They each weigh about 2 K and are going to grown to about 7 each which means that I am going to be really, really scared of them. Because as it is already, they surround me anytime I walk outside and start attacking me. I really wish I was making this up but it is the truth. I feel like I am under house arrest. I also have reason to believe that they think my feet are food because of the green nail polish. I also go the chicks. So at the moment there are 114 chickens living at my house with 84 arriving while I am out of the country. Hopefully everything goes well while I am gone. Which I think it will. They seem to have it under control and are really pulling their weight at the moment which is really good.
On to other things, in Dar I saw 2 horrible things this month. First I saw a mob justice killing. I was at a restaurant and saw a bunch of people running after this man. He was running and running and tons of people were running after him. They surrounded him and killed him. The police showed up with guns and pretty much threw the body in the back of the truck and continued to drive. I was with one of my friends who was a police man and he said that that would not make the paper and a few of those happen every day which is really sad. Then yesterday night while I was waiting for my dinner a fight broke up down the road. All of a sudden people started running to fight, luckily the fight was broken up but I saw a few people running that way with machete’s in their hands. It’s a rough world.
I also walked to and from my house to Mpwapwa one day. It about killed me. I just am not that in shape. But I think I am going to try and run the ½ marathon. I think Randi and Dana talked me into this. I have a lot of training to do if I am going to do this but I think it would be really fun and I would love to cross this off my bucket list. The only problem I am having with this is that is so FREAKIN hot. I swear it just keeps getting hotter. Bring on the rain I really need some new weather. Also we went 8 days last week without water. I am not sure how I am going to explain this to people if the future. I live such a crazy life can you even imagine try to tell people about this. This absolutely trumps the I walked 5 miles up hill in the winter to school. I might even say this trumps Grandma Preston and Grandma Witte’s walk to school but not sure that is a fight I could win.
As for research, I think it is still going. I have to say I think I have become a very good volunteer because I just keep trying to put off my research and push it out of my mind. Still do not have a good reason why, I am just that good and procrastinating. I really want to do research I am just really scared of screwing it up really, really bad. I know this is all my own fault and it is mostly in my head but still that is a lot of pressure. I would rather keep my pressure at a minimum and just keep pushing it off at least until I get back.
November 19, 2011
So I am back in TZ and as usual have mixed feelings about the entire thing. It is weird I was all gung-ho about PC before I left but then I came home and of course and not feeling it as much. I think this might also have something to do with the fact that my chicken project went to shit while I was gone. I do understand that it was partly my fault and partly the women’s groups fault. But the thing is I gave them every resource at their disposal before I left. I left them numbers of the vet, agriculture officer, money for medicine, and even a phone in case something happened and still I think over ½ the chickens died. It just sucks from both sides but I am trying to look forward. I do realize that my expectations for what I want to accomplish have already gone down more. I now am second guessing most of the projects that I still have planned to do that involve other people. I know that sounds ridiculous but I do not want to do things that are not going to work. Although I knew when I started the chicken project that this was a possibility and really my main goal was to get the chickens out of the houses, so I guess I achieved that goal but I am just really discouraged now.
But I was guess it is not that big of a deal, I am getting ready to switch gears and try to put myself more into a school set of mind and focus on my research and writing a first draft of my research paper. Really need to buckle down and try and work on it because that would be a really good use of my time I think.
I think I am also glad that I went home for a second time because it gives me a chance to breath and take a look at what I am doing and what I still want to accomplish. So from that standpoint again it was good that I came home and of course it was a BLAST. I got to see a ton of people, go to Ashleigh’s wedding, and meet the newest Witte.
Also exciting news, I am going to be a bridesmaid twice next year, once for my friend Lindsey and then for Jenna Barr who also asked me to be her maid of honor which is pretty cool. Just thought I would let everyone know if they didn’t already. There are going to be a lot of weddings next year and hopefully I will be home for all of them, cross your fingers.
Also this is going to be interesting because I told all my villagers that I was going to the south of the country and not home. I just did not want to have to deal with all the questions and everything but not sure yet how to explain my new watch and sneakers. I think I am going to just tell them that my mom sent me a package. I wonder if they will believe me. Also freaking out a little about my Swahili for some reason it seems like forever compared to other times when I have left.
Being home I also got asked a lot what I planned to do after I finish school and I have to say that is a good question I really have no idea. I had the idea for a few days of going to get my PHD but really I have no clue so not sure if that is really the best idea. Doesn’t that just put off the inevitable of having to find a job but I would at least be qualified for something. Then today I was thinking that maybe I would like to live in Alaska or CO so then I was thinking what types of jobs I want to do and what I want to work with. Again no clue. I do know that I like when things are more analytical and really liked working in the chemistry labs so I was trying to think of what I would like to do. And then the question of government vs private comes up with just adds more decisions. And worst yet I do not feel qualified to even work at McDonalds at the moment. I feel like all that great chemistry and forestry knowledge that I had just flew away which stinks. So if you are still reading this I think your head probably is spinning as much as mine. SO in the end I still have no clue what I want to do or be when I grow up. Then you have to add that I do love GR and would love to live there but I also think it is the place I want to settle down and I am not sure if I am ready to do that yet. The world is just so big. I do know that I do not what to do international work I think and do not want to live overseas for long periods of time but that is all that I have. And knowing me I could probably be persuaded back into it. Not sure how my brain works but I always end up remembering the good stuff and completely forget the bad stuff which I guess is a good thing until I end up in PC again or something.
November 22, 2011
I think I have had the worst jet lag ever here. All I can tell ya is that I have slept almost every waking minute since I got off the plane and am sleepy the rest of the time. Just cannot seem to get used to the time. This of course also puts me up at the crack of dawn. But at least it gives me time to think and everything before the day gets going. As I have said when I went home and here, I have mixed feelings about being in PC. I am like a roller coaster when it comes to everything. My mom would also tell you I am sure that it kills her because some days I want to come home that instance and other days I want to extend. Not sure how that works but it does. I think it has something to do with being wrapped up in this PC and culture and wanting to accomplish so much, which is very interesting considering I have hardly accomplished anything at least when it comes to projects, I think thought from learning a new culture stand point I am going good. I mean I cannot speak the language fluently but I can get by and get what I want, I can cook their food, and have friends in the village. I think I am teaching them my culture but not as well. Certain things just are not worth it. Like how we do not like being called fat. I have explained it a few times but they are just so proud when they tell me how fat I am how am I to tell them we do not like that. But I think I am doing an ok job of explaining American culture and leading by example. The only problem is I swear some days it is so hard to get out if the house to even walk around and talk with people in general.
So after much thinking and everything , I guess at least at the current moment I am ok with my situation I mean I am learning some pretty interesting things. I would like however to be more effective at doing projects, but I have kind of giving up on that. I have already decided the last 3 projects I am going to do and then I am done. It is really nerve racking. I am also only doing these projects with certain groups. I know this sounds bad, but it is already killing me with these groups, I cannot take on any more and at least I know these people I can somewhat rely on.
When I got back to the village I found out just how much chickens have died. 100 to be exact. That leaves about 60 still alive. I have been kicking myself all up and down trying to figure out how it could have been done differently. Before I left I gave them money for medicine, a phone with voucher to call people, plenty of food and water, and the numbers of any possible person that might be of use to them. And I still wondering if it would have made a difference if I would have been here, but judging how I reacted to one bird just being sick, I do not think it would have been good. I really think I would have had a major melt down on the degree of last year. It just sucks because there is not much else that could be done, but in the matter of days I went from a good project that I was proud of to I am not sure what at the moment.
So with this project not going as planned and then hearing of other volunteers projects that are also not going as planned, I have to say that I am not big on the project band wagon at the moment. It just stinks, you think you are going to be able to do something but really in the end what most people want is things for free and to not have to do anything to get them. It just sucks.
Also here is something else to add from my village, my mweyekiti (mayor) while I was gone attempted to sell my chickens luckily Jessica was here to stop him and then today he tried asking me for money, a lot of it. Again Jesscia saw my reaction and said just to say that I did not have any. It just sucks. This paired with before I left people were asking why I was not going to do such and such projects only to have to tell them that I actually had planned on it but nobody followed though I what I needed from them. From that stand point, it almost stinks, knowing that the bulk of what I am doing is worthless but what are ya going to do, you have to at least try, although I have to say as a result of trying so much with little result I think it has definitely jaded me some and I at some times do not speak the greatest of TZ but at the same time there are also a lot of good things here. But at the moment I have to say the bad overwhelms the good.
So as of right now, this leaves me to try and work hard on my research and get the bulk of it done in the next few months while also trying to do some small projects. I really want to have a lot of my research project done and in somewhat of a rough draft form before I get back so that it is more of a revision type thing than a O GOD thing. Hopefully that works out. I think I am almost ready to start the actual research so that is good, although of course at the same time scary as hell.
As for how I am coping being the village, it kind of sucks at the moment. I am hoping that the new volunteers will want to hang out more and do things because at the moment nobody really wants to do anything. Paul is more of a loner but I think I might try and get him to play cards once a week and then Randi I think I have lost to the village again. Although this time it is to a boy and a farm which is good for her, but I am pretty sure I will never see her now unless I go to her village, which is fine but I do not necessarily want to be around TZ and in the village when I leave mine. And Jake and Claire have left so that kind of sucks but hopefully some new volunteers will come in. we could use some fresh faces. Tanya is usually down for doing something it just stinks because we live kind of far from each other. I am not sure how she does it, she lives off by herself. She copes with it really good, not sure I could do it with no one around.
November 23, 2011
Still not quite over the jet lag but that is alright because I actually slept through the night last night. Something that very rarely happens here. Not sure when that will happen again though. I talked to the man that bought all my chickens today and he said that some of them might have had a disease but how it spread was because so many chickens were in such a small area. That really sucks. It sucks too because when he told them they need more space, they refused to believe him. Old Jessica tried to tell them that to but I am not really sure what has happened but I get the vibe not everyone cares to much for her. Not really sure what happened there. But anyways they said they were not going to do anything until I came back which stinks. Why can’t they think for themselves and why do I have to hold there hands the entire way it just stinks.
Also not really sure yet what is happening for thanksgiving so far plans have been all over the place which is fine but I really want to be with people and hang out so not sure what is going to happen. I do know that I am not going to be alone though because I cannot imagine that will be good for me, especially after being home. So at the moment it might be in a hotel room in Dodoma or at my friend Tanya’s house. Not sure yet depends on certain people and what they decide they want to do.
I have also come to the conclusion that I have a really hard time saying no to people and that I always try to make everyone happy which is probably good but it is making me insane, this thanksgiving planning is turning into way to much effort when all I wanted to do was spend it with people.
Also really, really love my kindle. I am having a hard time putting it down to do actual work. Luckily not to much actual work is needed at the moment considering I am at a standstill with my chickens and not really sure where to go from there.
December 10, 2011
It has been a long time since my last blog, mostly because I was really just too busy and entertaining people. So I will try and get everything in. I went to Tanya’s house for Thanksgiving which was really fun because I have not been to her house yet so that was nice to visit. We did not do to much, mostly I read my Kindle and we hung out. It is interesting how different our villages and lives are considering we are both here doing about the same thing.
Then I had 2 new volunteers come and stay with me for a week which was awesome. I showed them what it was like to live in a village and tried to give them a few pointers. Not sure if they were helpful or not. We went on a hike everyday in my mountains and then did yoga at night. It was great. I probably also ate better at my site than I ever had. It was a blast, I need to get more people over to my house, it is so much fun.
Then Tanya and me went up to Tanga to teach the new class about working with people in there community. It was really great but really hard to answer some of their questions and give them an idea of what it is really going to be like because it is so different for everyone. Also really crazy to look and see what I was like when I first got here. I really wish I was that way now. Now I think I have a very negative view of aid and TZ, but more on that later. It was great but I never thought I would be so excited to get back to Dodoma, it is so humid and hot up there.
I talked to my dad and I think he is coming the end of Feb and we are going to run a ½ marathon together. Or at least start it together. I am pretty sure that he is going to kick my butt, but either way it is going to be great. I also think Stephi might think that we are running up the mountain. I really hope she continues to think this.
OK so my mind is really f-ed up at the moment. I left Dodoma today to come back to the village and then whole time all I could think of how I am not doing anything or making a difference anywhere. And how I do not want to do any projects because nothing is going to work and I do not think they use the knowledge that I give them at all. I just do not know I feel kind of like I am doing nothing here and then I think of what people in the village think of me. Do they think I have done anything. I mean they gave me this house to live in to help better the community and I honestly am not sure if I have helped at all. I know PC has 3 goals and only the first is about development but it is hard to think about it that way. I mean what am I doing here if they do not want my help. I then went to Mpwapwa and had a discussion with Mathayo about this. He did not necessarily help the situation because he is just as frustrated. He thinks that the gogo people are just really lazy or at least ok with living how they have lived forever. But how can that be if they asked for a PC volunteer. I cannot figure it out. And then I think with the projects that I have done did I really help them at all or was it me doing what I wanted. Did I really give them what they wanted and need. And honestly I can not answer this and it is sad to say that it is almost to late. I mean I am still going to do a few projects but really there is not that much time left at least for anything big. I am not sure what I expected coming into PC but this was not it which is crazy because I really did not know what to expect but then again I am not really sure why/how I ended up here. I mean I really do like it because it was a good way to get my masters but at the same time why am I getting my masters. I have no clue what I am going to do and really I am not sure if I am qualified to do anything after being here for 2 years. Sure I can survive in a different culture and country but how does that cross over to work. I am not sure. I feel like everything I have learned as melted away. Not really sure where this is going, I think I am just rambling. But anyways I got back to site and I am still struggling with what to do with village and how to help better at least one person’s life. But it is crazy I am not as stressed as I thought I would be being back here. But then again it is only the first day. I also think this has something to do with Claire being gone to, although Randi is still here. It is just not the same. We are going two different ways without PC service and she is really busy with her own problems and such. After all of this I still think I am glad that I am doing PC but I have to say does it really have to be this hard, I really think that there are better ways to go about this.
The other thing that is bothering me is I am not sure what my thoughts on AID are anymore. Before coming here I thought that it was a great thing but I did not really know anything about it. I just figured they helped people better their lives but now I am not sure if it is such a good thing. I mean there are good things that come out of aid but at the same time I kind of think there has to be a better way to help people. But a lot of people think that just nobody has come up with a better way to help people better themselves. But then I think do these people really need to better themselves. Would it be so bad if we left them as they were and let them live their lives how they want to. I mean my village seems happy with the way things are.
Another thing that started all of this is old Jessica asked one of the volunteers for money. I am not sure what to make of this yet. Tanya said that maybe she understood wrong but I really think that if I understand that sentence most people do as my Swahili is not that good but I could be wrong. But this brings me to what do I do about this. I disappoints me so much I just do not understand why she would do this, she knows that I do not give out money. I saw her once after this and I just got a pit in my stomach I just do not know what to do. I am going to try and just forget it or possibly just avoid her but I just cannot believe that this happened.
Also young Jessica planting my whole garden while I was in the shower. I cannot believe her she is like superman. I wish I could be as good a friend to her as she is to me. She is amazing. I also wish I had the vocabulary to say how I felt but hopefully she gets it. She has to be one of the best things about this village and I can honestly say that if she was not here I would not be here. She helps me so much. She is the one that also told me one day when I was crying in her house that my work here was not done yet. She defiantly is a gift from God.
Sorry this was a lot of rambling but I feel a lot better and a lot more clear which is really really good because I have not be feeling so hot about how everything is going here and honestly I am really happy that I have my research here because it defiantly keeps me here and keeps me going. It gives me a reason to stay.
Also I got home and my house was locked from the inside because I apparently shut the door to hard. So instead of trying to figure away to unlock it we just knocked a hole into the door. So now I have a huge hole in the side of my door. Wonder what kind of animals I am going to attract.
December 12, 2011
I am not sure why this, but I have not been able to turn my computer on at night the last 2 nights to blog. I am not sure why this is, I have all these thoughts in my head I just find myself having a hard time turning my computer on. Luckily I needed to finish my homework today so I thought that I would blog first.
Things are going good in the village. I am feeling a little better about being here. I am still trying to figure out my projects and everything but things are looking up. It just stinks that I am not sure what I can and cannot get done here. I know that I have lots of time here still but at the same time everything takes so long that I do need to think about time at the same time. So yeah still have a lot of thinking to do.
After 2 days of laundry and cleaning my house, I almost have it back to normal although looking in the past I have decided that there is nothing normal about living here. I have never had one of those schedules to tell me what I am going to do on which day although I really wish I have more of a schedule because I think that would make me feel better or at least give me some purpose at the moment. Luckily I have the next 2 days to finish my homework and figure out projects. After that I am not sure what I am going to do but that will keep me busy for a bit and then I also have to work out everyday so there is something else. I am only up to 3 miles but it feels good so hopefully the miles will just keep on coming although I am finding it hard to wake up in the mornings. Not sure why, I think it might have something to do with the fact that it is so quite here and a little chilly which I really like but also I think a little of it is that I am in a rut and am just thinking what is the point. I know this is not the case but I cannot seem to get myself out of this. I know there are people here that want to do and accomplish things, this chicken project has just upset me more than I thought. I thought that I could fool myself into thinking that we did perform the goals and everything but I still have in the back of my mind that that there are lots of chickens dead. And I know this not necessarily my fault but at the same time I feel like I could of helped if I was here so that is kind of weighing me down. And it probably doesn’t help that it is Christmas time. I think Christmas is going to be good this year, we are going to a missionaries house up north which should be fun. Tanya went last year and said it was really nice and fun and reminded her of being with her family so I am really excited for that. I then thought I had plans for the new year, but now I am not so sure. So stuff has come up so now I am not really sure what I want to do.
I am kind of all over the place if you cannot tell. But I am still trudging a long. I really want to start my research and get that done with too. I cannot believe how long it is taking but I know this is my fault because I am so slow at getting things done. I just want to make sure I get it done in time so that if I find out that I forgot something, I can fix it before
I leave and have not messed up all of my research and data.
It IS REALLy weird how you start out the day in one mood and then you switch it. This morinign I wanted nothing more than to leave Africa forever and not return. I was on the verge of tears and honestly really scared that I was falling back into a depression and what I was like last October. But it is crazy instead of running from everything, I stayed in my village and worked through things. I then went over to young Jessica’s and this made me feel a whole lot better. I just do not understand how I can be so all over the place and want to leave so bad one minute and then finding myself thinking how could I ever leave this place. I have a little Dr. Jeykl and Mr. Hyde in me I think. But what ever happened, I worked through it and feel a ton better. I really hope this wasn’t a fluke and this continues.
December 15, 2011
It is crazy how all the days run together and so much can happen. Yesterday I had my women’s group meeting and I am somewhat back on cloud 9 with them. I am not sure if they are really that genuine or not but we planned some more projects and I see good things in our future. I really hope I am right because the chicken loss was enough almost to have me throw in the towel. So we will see. I think that they are going to attempt to make and sell the soap that I taught them to make a bit ago because they said that they want to by the peanuts, corn, and sorghum at a low price and sell at a high. Which I think is great idea and they came up with it all on their own. I think that is great but of course there is a lot of talk so we will see what their actions are. Me and Randi went in to town today and got fuel efficient stoves made which actually turned out to be a lot more expensive than I would have figured. But I am really excited to make them because I think it is actually something that could really benefit them and could help them make life a little easier. I guess we will have to see what the first one looks like and how good or bad this project goes, but at least it gives me something to look forward too.
Randi also came to my village last night which was awesome because I love seeing and hanging out with her. I have to say I am actually really blest with the region and everything that I got. I have great friends and actually a really nice view when there is rain but it can also be a nightmare and I am sure other volunteers in TZ will tell you how glad they are that they did not get my site which is partly true but at the same time you obviously make site what it is and usually everyone falls in love with their site no matter how good or bad it is.
My body is also in shabbles today. Not sure what happened but in my preparation for my dad and mine’s half marathon my body turned on me at one point and now it feels like death. Luckily I am still hanging out with Randi so I know that she will make sure I get out of bed tomorrow morning to run. Which I also have to do anyways because my dad is beating me already in miles run. How can he do that, shouldn’t I be able to run circles around him seeing that I am half his age. But apparently age has nothing to do with it, this might also be why betty and all those other people were able to pass me on the bike trip. Not sure if there is anything worse than a 70 year old grandma leaving you in the dust as you try to bike up a hill. Although I did have a ton of fun on the bike trip, it was so much fun.
Also it rained so much as so fast yesterday, that I thought for a minute I was in the middle of a snow storm and of course it made me so so happy until I realized Oh yeah I live in TZ. But it was great because now my tank is full and I have so much water. On cloud 9 again with another thing. How my mood changes so often I will never know. I will be really happy when I return home and my moods all go back into check but it is kind of nice that you can become super super happy all of a sudden but it is also horrible when it goes the other way. Luckily I think I am back in control of my feeling and everything at least for a while. I have a lot to look forward to and a lot to do still. I still have not done my research which really scares me but I think I still have plenty of time I am just worried as usual about it. Also I have to say that as ready as I am to leave already, I must not be as ready as I think because I still find myself thinking about the future here and how wonderful of a life that I have and how amazing it is to live here, so I think I am just on crack as usual and seem to not really have a firm grasp on what exactly I want. Or maybe I just want to much and it is so easy to go back home to what I know, I just do not know.
Another hole ended up in my house again today. I just cannot understand it, first off nothing in this country is built very well, my house included. Today Jessica took a pipe to it and now I have 2 holes in my house. One for if my door looks itself again and another if it rains hard. Which also means I just increased my chances significantly about sharing my house with others, hopefully dad’s best friend doesn’t make his way into my house too.
December 16,2011
Woke up this morning and went for a run with Randi. It was really fun to have someone to run. We talked as we ran which was great because I do not think that I have done that since cross country in high school is was great. Then me and Randi made food and then went around her village and hung out with some villagers. They had a big flea market today so we went and walked around a little bit but it was really intimidating with all of the people especially to when most of them have been drinking. So of course I had a lot of selective hearing which is good now but is going to be really bad when I get back home.
December 17,2011
I came back from Randi’s village today and I had to stand for 2 hours. I really thought I was going to passout. I am really glad that I did not because that would have been really embarrassing but it was crazy I was having a really hard time breathing and I am not sure why.
I then got into town and waited in true TZ fashion for Mathayo. It took him 3 hours to get to the market. Crazy how time is all over the place for people but it turned out great because we went to the carpenter and I got a frame to make fuel efficient stoves. I am really excited.
I have to say it is really crasy though. I just cannot understand my moods. I go from wanting to get out of here right this minute to wanting to stay here a while longer. This emotional roller coaster is killing me at the moment. I came back and hung out with young Jessica though and it was really really fun. I have such a good time talking with her. She understands me so well. Today we were talking about how life here is just so hard and it is hard to get a head. It just sucks. I am trying to help her out but she is right there is just a lot to do and really not that many business opportunities in the village. I do not know how I am going to help her yet but I really want to help her because she helps me every day and is like a older sister/ mother to me. I would do anything for her. I just am not sure what the best thing to do for her yet is. I told her she needs to relax and rest a little every now and then but her response is I still have this, this, and this to do. Which she is right, but it just stinks.
I watched the Family Stone last night which might explain my mood a bit. I love this movie but it makes me miss home and everyone way to much. I cannot wait until next Christmas already at Grandma’s and Uncle Jerry’s. I know it is a long ways a way but I am really excited for it already anyways.
December 20, 2011
Not really sure what is going on but I am having a hard time blogging every night. My mind is fine until I go to bed and turning on my computer is the last thing I want to do. It is really weird. Also I think has to do with the fact that I have been reading on my kindle a lot. I am so happy that I got this because I get to read so much more but at the same time I am not sure if this is such a good thing. I find myself reading more than anything else at the moment. Luckily there is not a lot to do around here because everyone is going to their farms to plant which I could go to help but that is just a really really long day and I am not really in the mood lately. I have decided that I really need to know when I am done here which I might have blogged about last time but I think this is going to put me and my mind back on track.
I spent all day yesterday making Christmas cards for all of my friends. I am really excited for the missionaries house. My friend says that it is like little America so I am really ecxcited and it will be nice to spend it with people and just hangout and play games. I really miss being home and playing games with everyone especially cards which is kind of weird I am not sure that I play that many games. Although I really do miss playing euckre and set back. But then again that just makes me also think of the cottage which I always miss.
December 20, 2011
I talked to Randi today and she told me that after the rain storm came last night 3 people were dead. Crazy. She said that they all had got swept away in the rain because it was raining so hard. But they all also had been drinking at the bar all night so that did not help them but still really scary. I honestly would never guess that could happen when there is not a flowing river involved. She also said that she cannot get out of her village at all because the roads are so bad. This makes me really happy that I am not where she is because I would be devastated if had to stay in the village for Christmas. But she wants to stay so it all
works out as it should I guess.
Also I made chocolate chip cranberry oatmeal cookies today and gingerbread cookies. They are actually all bars though because I was lazy which stinks because I really wanted to make ginger bread men but I did not want to wait for the charcoal to finally start going. Which by the way it did after 2 hours. Who has this kind of time? But I made cookies so tomorrow I am going to hand them out to the Jessicas and Talita and maybe a select other few but I am not sure who they are yet. I also made Christmas cards for them. Although I hope old J forgives me because I was suppose to go to her house almost everyday this week but did not because I was to lazy. I just do not feel like hanging out with tanzos at the moment which I know is not good but it just sounds like to much work and I would rather stay home and read my kindle. Which by the way at the moment I am hugely addicted too.
December 21, 2011
Happy first day of winter. I ran this morning and now can hardly move. I think my cross training workout yesterday really did me in. Luckily I have a few days to recover. But this also meant that I spent today lounging around the house. I think I have a problem I do not necessarily feel to depressed or anything I just cannot seem to get out and really do not feel like it to much at the moment. Most people are at their farms anyways. I don’t know.
So I had a women’s group meeting today and I could have killed all the ladies in it. They are all outraged about the chickens and what it really boils down to is that they do not want to take responsibility for the chickens. I could just scream they kept asking me more and more questions and I am pretty sure they could tell that I was frustrated. I just do not understand what they do not get. I am bringing more chickens because I still have not got them all yet and then they are going into the community. It is crazy, I never saw this as my problem. It is like they are scared to take responsibility for them which is weird because they have chickens at home but maybe it is like me and my research.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
It's GREAT to be a Michigan Wolverine!!!
September 5, 2011
Got back to the village today with 23 KG of fish flour and some other things. I was not prepared for my house smelling like dead fish, but I think it is going to smell like that for the next month. Oh joy. I am really scared of what type of animals this is going to attracted. I have flashes of lots of stray cats attacking my house. I really hope that does not happen.
Everything else is going really good, although I am still feeling super busy and not on top of everything. It also does not help that I have been out of my village a lot for things and will continue to be for a while. It doesn’t help to that I want to do anything and everything. We are all suppose to go to Randi’s next weekend for a gathering and hopefully meet the new education volunteer in the area. She has already been here a week and I have not met her yet. She seems really nice on the phone though.
I went and saw old Jesca’s daughters today. They are so awesome they make me feel so good. Also realized that Randi’s Swahili is amazing. I do not know how she got so good but me and Jesca were talking about it and it is awesome we decided. I really want to work on my Swahili but I have so much other stuff going on that I would rather be doing as Paul says it is all about priorities and really I am able to communicate with my villagers and live so I am doing well, I just miss a lot in conversations. But it doesn’t bother me that much only when I am around other volunteers and even then not all the time. Weird how that works. But then again I also do not see me using this language in the future to much either. It is no POLISH, let’s just say that. But it is pretty awesome that I am able to live here and speak Swahili with everyone and at least have small conversations in Gogo with the grandmas.
It is not even 8 pm and I think I am going to go to bed. I am so freakin tired all the time now. It is crazy but hopefully this means that I am going to wake up early and exercise before my morning dedicated to washing clothes. Almost every piece of clothing I own is dirty.
Almost forgot, talked to the fam damily to and they said the wedding was great. This just gets me super excited for Ashleigh’s. Also taught Claire and Randi how to Polka, although not sure they were to impressed. Claire said it seemed similar to Scottish dances. I really hope she can come and visit during Pulaski day weekend sometime, I think she would just love it. But really who wouldn’t.
September 6, 2011
I think my days of sleeping in are over between Jesca coming over at the crack of dawn to talk and me becoming way to busy that I think I need to start exercising in the morning. I have I told you how much I hate to exercise in the morning, I do not mind it in the US but here it is just painful. Although I kind of think that it is painful in general here because that can make your day that much longer and boring but in all actuality I have not had a boring day in a very, very long time. So long I almost miss them. But only almost.
So I woke up today and Jesca brother came and got money from me. He was my work horse today. He carried 270Kg of chicken feed in 2 trips on his bike to my house. Can you say amazing. Not if I can just get the fish flour out of my house.
Jesca and me also went into town today to see my neighbors father. We saw him at 1 pm went and hung out with Claire and then headed to a women’s group that we were teaching to make soap to. In 2 hours my neighbors dad had died, which is really sad but he lived a good, long life. I think he was 90 yrs +/- 10. You can never no because nobody knows when they were born. So that was sad but I did also get my first glimpse of a hospital. Let’s just say I am glad I am healthy.
September 7, 2011
I have a mouse in the house. I knew I had one last week, but I was just kind of hoping that it would leave which of course it did not. And as a result it has eaten through 2 pairs of headphones. I cannot believe it, luckily I have one more pair left that I am going to guard with my life. What is even more disturbingis how close he got to me while I was sleeping without me knowing. I just do not understand why God would ever make mice. Mice and snakes are the 2 things I hate most in this world.
I had another jam pack day although this one was full of work and laundry which still is not
done yet. That is what I get for not doing laundry for like 3 weeks. I also piled up on water so hopefully I will be good for a bit.
I did Randi;s P90X workput today and feel amazing as well. It makes me miss the gym but only a little. Ya just feel so good after a nice work out.
Also I am reading the 19th wife and it is really good. And I made soda bread today but it didn’t really turn out like I wanted it to but it was still edible so I cannot complain. I am making cookies with frosting tomorrow with Jesca so that should be interesting. Hopefully it goes well.
September 8, 2011
I killed my first mouse today. And it scared me to death. I know that I do live in Africa so you think that I deal with a lot but I see fewer animals and insects here in my house than at home. I am not sure what this is saying about my house but it is the truth. Or I have just become accustomed to living with the lizards and cockroaches which I will take any day over mice.
I went to old Jesca today and we made sugar cookie sandwiches with chocolate frosting that were delicious and then we walked to the next village over and carried bundles of tree poles back for her chicken fence. It was hard work, I made her stop and rest 3 times before we made it back to her house. I then came home to haul a ton of chicken feed from young Jesca house to mine, again this was a lot of work but it needed to be done. After that I had the great idea to try and make chocolate toffee cookies with the toffee candies, think worthers originals but this did not go as planned. They do not taste bad, but they do not taste awesome either.
Besides that not to much is new, still living in fear that there is a whole herd of mice but besides that not much else. Me, Claire, and Jake are going to Randi’s site tomorrow so that should be really fun and Randi is going to teach us a new work out. Should be a great weekend before I head off to Dar and cross your fingers I get a lot of work done there because I have a lot to do.
September 16, 2011
I know I have not written in a while and it is of course because I have been so busy. I went to Randi’s village last weekend. It was a great time. All the volunteers from our region where there it was great. We pretty much just sat around and made really good food. We made pizza and vegetable burritos. It was awesome. We also walked to this really big tree which I of course tried to climb but couldn’t actually get up on to. But Randi was able to climb it. IT was crazy because you have to rock climb it the entire way up. I have now made it my goal to be able to climb it rock climber style by the time I leave. This means I need to get some arm muscles. Not sure how this is going to happen yet. But it was a great time and I got to meet Athena who is the new volunteer in our area.
Then I went to Dar for some meetings. Which is awesome because I am in Dar and I love being here. I have been hanging out with Trudy and Kenzi and attempting to get work done. We have been eating really good food. I had coffee ice cream yesterday and a steak burrito. It was AMAZING. I was planning on going to the beach but I have decided not to. I am going to try and get a bunch of work done in the next 2 days. I know this is lame but I feel like I am still in warp speed. I would really like to stay on top of things in the next few months before I go home and try and accomplish a lot. Hopefully this works. I am excited though because we are going to go to the Holiday Inn and sit at the top and have drinks. Most people will not go with me because they think it to expensive but come on people we are on vacation. So the plan is today to go and sit up there and do a bunch of work. I know LAME but it needs to get done.
I also am hoping to skype with people this week and catch up on everything. I feel like I have been out of the loop lately. I am also going to talk to my professors which I am really looking forward to because again I am freaking out a little about my research. I just am not sure if I am on the right track or really anything about it.
So after this I head back to Dodoma for some more meetings and then finally back to site. I feel like all I do these days is travel. I really just want a week to do nothing and relax not sure when this is going to happen hopefully soon. But that is not going to be the case because I cannot say no to anyone or anything hence I am always so busy but busy is always better than not so I guess I cannot really complain. I think we are also going to see the movie Contagin which I hear is suppose to be really good. I think that will be really fun.
September 21, 2011
I just went to a seminar in Dodoma with about 30 other volunteers that live somewhat around here. It is crazy because I had no idea there were this many volunteers around me. Although most of them really are not but it is at least cool to meet some new people. Claire came up with us to and I think she was just as excited to meet some new people. She leaves in about 2 weeks so it is going to interesting when she is gone. Not really sure if it will be better or worse.
It was a lot of fun though because we all hung out, ate great food, and even played euker. This especially made me miss the cottage and just playing card games. So I was thinking that I might see if Paul wants to get together once a week and play cards. Stealing this idea from my Professor but I think it could be really fun. I are amazing pizza and chicken and got to listen to everyone talk about there projects. Again most people hate this but I love hearing what other people are doing. I do understand why they do not like it but I think it is great. They are all doing so much, they give me great ideas.
I also got picked as a PCV of the week for the incoming environment volunteers. Which is really cool. This means that I will be with them for a week when they first get here, answering questions, telling them about my experiences, and teaching. I am a little scared because it is hard to meet a whole group of new people but also a little comforted in the fact that they are probably all scared as it is all completely different.
I have also decided that I HATE talking about money. I know you should never really talk about it with people but here that is really not an issue because there are no secrets as to how much everyone is getting paid because we all get paid the same and as a result people are very blunt as also really cheap. I cannot really explain it. Most people are broke (I for some reason am not) broke to the point they have maybe $10 in their account at the end of each month. Which sucks but if they want to have money they should learn to save and spend there money differently. Come on people. Really I just do not understand how they have no problem buying 2 beers and going to a movie but cannot spring for a cab home. It drives me insane. Everyone is different I understand but I am really really sick of people talking/ bitching about money.
I came back to the village today and young Jesca has started building her banda. I am so excited. It is awesome. I am also really excited because I want to start making fuel efficient stoves and some other things soon. I have a lot I want to accomplish in the next year but time is just flying by at the moment.
I also talked to my professors about my research. They are really great and help me so much. I am not at the point of the actual research yet. Still stuck in pre-test mode but it is moving along.
September 22, 2011
Today one my bosses came out to my village and saw some of my chicken project. It was really cool and awesome to have someone from PC actually see what I am doing and not just hearing about it. We also went to Paul’s village and also to another village where they might put a new volunteer this year. Which I think would be really sweet. Because the more the merrier.
We also talked about a water project. Which I am really excited about. If everything goes as planned I should be able to write a grant and have an NGO come to my village for 2 weeks and teach the village construction worker how to make a water tank.
Besides that not much else is new. I have about a million things I need to be doing and no time. I am really hoping to get some more stuff done tomorrow, hopefully I can keep up on everything. I just never feel like I am getting ahead, Things just keep pilling up.
I made Dahl today with flat bread. It was really good. I was thinking how we eat so much processed stuff in the US which is crazy because you can make so much good things from scratch that take the same amount of time. I hope when I come home I try to make more stuff from scratch but who knows if that will work or not as I do love boxed pizza.
Also killed a really scary looking millipede today that was trying to enter my house and saw my first ever scorpion. Luckily it was dead but that just makes me wonder where the other ones are lurking. Also learned about a tiger ant. They sound really sweet. They burrow in the ground and form these pits and then when insects fall into them they come out and pounce on them. And also saw some kind of Mahogany tree today that the seeds looked like beautiful pieces of chocolate.
I think the no water period has also begun. All the women stood around the water today waiting for it and it never came. Oh the joys of living in the desert on a plateau in a rain shadow. Not really sure what the government was thinking when they relocated people here. But it still is amazingly beautiful so we got that going for us.
Starting vaccinations tomorrow as well.
September 23, 2011
I spent the entire night in fear for my life as usual. Although this time it was the sound of something trying to get out of a big plastic bag. I convinced myself throughout the night that whatever was in there was going to eat me. But then I decided that it could not get out so that I would just deal with it in the morning. So in the morning I got all geared up because I could still hear it, knocked over the bag and prepared to kill whatever was trying to kill me…..a cockroach with a missing leg. I swear though you would never believe such a small thing could make so much noise.
I also found out that my neighbor ripped me off. This makes me incredibly angry and sad all at the same time because I trust him. He came and sold me and ax and apparently tripled the price from what Jesca said. I think I might actually say something to him just so he knows and maybe make him feel at least a little bad. I just need to muster up the courage. But I have at least started to think about what I might say to him.
Also finding out that I can bath with less than 2 liters of water if I do not wash my hair. I am not sure if I would call this impressive or exactly how low my standards have dropped. But
I feel clean at least and it cuts back on water.
I made Baylor’s bread today with spinach, onion, and tomatoes. Not sure what my thoughts on it are yet. I was kind of hoping it was going to taste like a tomato herb bagel but that was wrong.
September 24,2011
I have decided that I am a watch person. My watch band broke last week and my neighbor is making me in a new one but in the mean time I am finding I have no idea what time it is or date it is and it is killing me. Who knew I would ever be so attached to a watch.
I am reading a book called House Rules at the moment and it is really good. I have done hardly anything else except read the book and am hoping to finish it tomorrow.
I made banana fritters today and they were excellent although they would have been even better had I washed the pan before I used it. They had the slightest taste on rosemary and onions. Not a good combination.
I talked to Andrew today and am super excited to see his house and actually just be in Chicago I guess and of course see everyone. It is weird I have spots where I feel like PC is going to fast and that I have so much to accomplish in such a little time and then I have moments like today when I am just ready to get out. I have found though that I think about staying longer when people ie other volunteers are around me but then I go to the village and am good for a few days and then ready for some more volunteer time. What am I going to do without Claire. I think Paul is going to start getting sick of me as he is my next closest neighbor.
It is just me or are the insects and lizards getting bigger? I am not sure what they are eating but they look huge this week.
September 27, 2011
I met Randi and Claire in town for one last hurrah with just the three of us but of course it turned into 2 nights. Randi found out she had a graduation on Saturday but that is also the day of Claire’s party so we walked to my village and back yesterday so that she could get my bike and I had a meeting to go to. So yesterday I walked 12 miles and I actually did not feel to bad. And it all worked out great because then I was able to bring some furniture back today from Claire’s so finally after 1 year I have a chair to sit on instead of my bed. It is awesome. I also brought back a ton of rice and beans because tomorrow I am having a seminar for AIDS with one of the groups here. I am really nervous about it because it is pretty much all planned last minute which I do not like but it seems something that TZ are use to although I am not sure why they are. This probably has something also to do with the fact that they say if God wish I will see you tomorrow after you have just made plans to meet them tomorrow. It will drive you crazy but anyways pray the seminar is good.
I talked to Han today and we talked about my research again. I am not exactly where I want to be at the moment but I am not in a bad place either. I just am getting worried which is kind of stupid because I do have 10 months to go but I like to stay on top of things and at the moment am not. Which is weird because the reason I am not is because I have been doing actual PC work. It is so weird how I am where I am not and how 1 year ago all I could think about was leaving this place. I am not saying that I will be not be ready to go when it is time but I actually feel like I am doing something at the moment. I have so much more I want to do and am not sure if I will have the time to do it,. I keep meaning to make a calendar but of course that has not happened yet of things that I want to do before I leave. I think with Claire leaving it is going to be really hard but it is also going to be good for me. I think I will be more focused on my village and of course stay in it a lot more which will lead to me hopefully getting more done but of course only time will tell how this really works.
I also feel like I have been traveling a lot. Probably because I have between PC work and my own stuff along with just wanted to hang out with people and then being in my village. I have a full plate.
September 28, 2011
I woke up at the crack of dawn today to vaccinate chickens. Which was really not that bad but I did not know that I was doing that this morning. I had so much to do it just added to things. Today I started a seminar about HIV/AiDS with an NGO. So I spent all morning running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get everything ready and making sure that things were done. On top of this the facilitator was an hour late which nobody else cared about, but me I was freaking out that they had forgot although I did talk to them the day before in TZ ya just do not know.
So after a full day of seminar I came home to rest and have had a stream of people coming in ending with a little quarrel between the Jessica’s. Old thinks that young is going out of her way to make sure she does everything which I do not think is the case at all. She just happens to live really close to me and people keep electing her to be the one to help me. Not really sure what kind of terms they are on now but it ended with young J telling me she doesn’t care for old J. Something’s never change.
Big news. One of Randi’s students got picked to go to the US for 2 weeks which is really awesome because she worked really hard on the applications with the students.
I still have not accomplished as much as I wanted to today but tomorrow is another day so hopefully I actually accomplish something.
September 29, 2011
The Seminar went beautifully today and finished great. I was really proud. The people all seemed to really like it and were engaged with the discussions and asked lots of questions so that is good. I think I am going to plan on doing something with then every month. Next month I am thinking a condom demonstration and movie day. I just need to figure how to get the movie to project.
I am not sure how this has happened but I am so busy there is hardly anytime anymore. Today I was up at 6 and now it is 7 and my day is gone, I have not accomplished anything or done any exercise although I am not to sad about missing exercise obviously but I really want a routine and it just does not exist for me. Oh well.
I made really good oatmeal for dinner. I have decided vanilla is a key ingredient.
I also have been tweaking my research and finding that it is really hard to get people to answer questions differently. I need to start getting a variety of answers and things so I have been trying to ask more in-depth on going questions but the answers are still not to different. I am not sure if it is just that straight forward or if I am just that bad at asking questions.
After the seminar finished and I had finished cleaning up I spent the next hour waiting for water. Now I understand that I should not get preferentially treatment just because I am white but I also think that I should because me waiting for water just taking up a lot of my time. I understand that I do need to live like a villager but at the same time I cannot live with my life revolved around when I am going to get water if they want me to do things. I am so happy this will not be part of my life forever, I also am not sure if that makes me a bad person if I do not want to wait. I know that they are probably thinking why should she get water before everyone but at the same time they are probably also thinking that she should. Also fyi I carried 20 liters of water on my head and did not feel like I was going to die. This is a huge improvement from last week.
Tomorrow should be interesting because the Jessicas have to come together. Hopefully the argument has passed but maybe not. Not really sure what to do about this one.
One last thought, I have decided that I do not feel as good when I am blogging at the moment because the whole time I am just trying to finish so that I can watch the West Wing. That is so bad. But it is so so good.
September 30, 2011
As usual it was another big day. Today at the crack of dawn the women from Subira Group came over and we washed mtama ( I cannot think of what this is in English, sorry). This has what the big discussion between the 2 Jessicas has been about and it still continued today. In the end we washed the mtama I can see both sides. Young Jessica says that the dirt is not good for the chickens and in the book it says we need to do it a certain way but old Jessica thinks that they can just eat it as it is. I think I agree with old Jessica but I am not going to even get in the middle. I just say that I do not care either way. It was really nice though most of the women came and we got a bunch of work done. Then we talked about getting the chickens and what was left to do. Oct 13, 100 3 week old chicks will come to live in Lupeta. I am so excited.
I also worked on my research more today and asked more questions. Still not sure where I am at with all of this but at least I am trying and ya figure that the more that you try the more likely ya are to get somewhere with it all.
The bus that goes by my house everyday to Dar got in an accident and 3 people from my village died. I have never taken this bus but was planning on taking it within the next month. I think I am going to rethink this and maybe just take the Mpwapwa bus but I do not know. I think it was just an innocent accident but it still scares me a bit.
I swear the house work never ends here. As soon as I finish one things there is another thing to do. I never feel like I can just relax between house work and PC work. That is one thing that stinks about living and working in the same place. There is nowhere to escape to unless ya leave the village. That is one thing I will appreciate when I return home, boundaries I guess ya would say.
I cannot wait to have a kraki sandwich with better made chips and pickles. I think this is going to be one of my first meals when I come home. It sounds so good. This and a lot of cheese and hot sticks.
October 2, 2011
Let me just say how AWESOME it is that Michigan is winning. So wish that I could be at a game. But at least I will be able to watch a game or 2 when I am home and eat some amazing food and drink a good cold beer for once.
We had Claire’s going away party last night. It was more than I could have ever expected. Her friends from the college told her it was an engagement party for one of her friends so that was the cover story for the beginning of the night. The decorated a restaurant and everything. I felt like I was at a wedding but it was beautiful and a really good way I think for Claire to leave. I do have one thing to say maybe 2. First TZ dance kind of weird, I just do not get how the music and rhythm go together. Also weird because they dance to a lot of gospel type music. Secondly I think Ashleigh’s wedding is going to be messy with BBQ. I am not making any promises on keeping my closes clean.
Also when I came in this morning, I waited for the bus for 1 hour only to find it was full. So after chilling and planning on taking the bus I find out it is full and that I have to walk in. Not very happy about this. My first reaction was dangit I just took a shower last night and washed my hair. Only someone that had a water problem would be concerned about the amount of water that has been used.
Got back to the village today with 23 KG of fish flour and some other things. I was not prepared for my house smelling like dead fish, but I think it is going to smell like that for the next month. Oh joy. I am really scared of what type of animals this is going to attracted. I have flashes of lots of stray cats attacking my house. I really hope that does not happen.
Everything else is going really good, although I am still feeling super busy and not on top of everything. It also does not help that I have been out of my village a lot for things and will continue to be for a while. It doesn’t help to that I want to do anything and everything. We are all suppose to go to Randi’s next weekend for a gathering and hopefully meet the new education volunteer in the area. She has already been here a week and I have not met her yet. She seems really nice on the phone though.
I went and saw old Jesca’s daughters today. They are so awesome they make me feel so good. Also realized that Randi’s Swahili is amazing. I do not know how she got so good but me and Jesca were talking about it and it is awesome we decided. I really want to work on my Swahili but I have so much other stuff going on that I would rather be doing as Paul says it is all about priorities and really I am able to communicate with my villagers and live so I am doing well, I just miss a lot in conversations. But it doesn’t bother me that much only when I am around other volunteers and even then not all the time. Weird how that works. But then again I also do not see me using this language in the future to much either. It is no POLISH, let’s just say that. But it is pretty awesome that I am able to live here and speak Swahili with everyone and at least have small conversations in Gogo with the grandmas.
It is not even 8 pm and I think I am going to go to bed. I am so freakin tired all the time now. It is crazy but hopefully this means that I am going to wake up early and exercise before my morning dedicated to washing clothes. Almost every piece of clothing I own is dirty.
Almost forgot, talked to the fam damily to and they said the wedding was great. This just gets me super excited for Ashleigh’s. Also taught Claire and Randi how to Polka, although not sure they were to impressed. Claire said it seemed similar to Scottish dances. I really hope she can come and visit during Pulaski day weekend sometime, I think she would just love it. But really who wouldn’t.
September 6, 2011
I think my days of sleeping in are over between Jesca coming over at the crack of dawn to talk and me becoming way to busy that I think I need to start exercising in the morning. I have I told you how much I hate to exercise in the morning, I do not mind it in the US but here it is just painful. Although I kind of think that it is painful in general here because that can make your day that much longer and boring but in all actuality I have not had a boring day in a very, very long time. So long I almost miss them. But only almost.
So I woke up today and Jesca brother came and got money from me. He was my work horse today. He carried 270Kg of chicken feed in 2 trips on his bike to my house. Can you say amazing. Not if I can just get the fish flour out of my house.
Jesca and me also went into town today to see my neighbors father. We saw him at 1 pm went and hung out with Claire and then headed to a women’s group that we were teaching to make soap to. In 2 hours my neighbors dad had died, which is really sad but he lived a good, long life. I think he was 90 yrs +/- 10. You can never no because nobody knows when they were born. So that was sad but I did also get my first glimpse of a hospital. Let’s just say I am glad I am healthy.
September 7, 2011
I have a mouse in the house. I knew I had one last week, but I was just kind of hoping that it would leave which of course it did not. And as a result it has eaten through 2 pairs of headphones. I cannot believe it, luckily I have one more pair left that I am going to guard with my life. What is even more disturbingis how close he got to me while I was sleeping without me knowing. I just do not understand why God would ever make mice. Mice and snakes are the 2 things I hate most in this world.
I had another jam pack day although this one was full of work and laundry which still is not
done yet. That is what I get for not doing laundry for like 3 weeks. I also piled up on water so hopefully I will be good for a bit.
I did Randi;s P90X workput today and feel amazing as well. It makes me miss the gym but only a little. Ya just feel so good after a nice work out.
Also I am reading the 19th wife and it is really good. And I made soda bread today but it didn’t really turn out like I wanted it to but it was still edible so I cannot complain. I am making cookies with frosting tomorrow with Jesca so that should be interesting. Hopefully it goes well.
September 8, 2011
I killed my first mouse today. And it scared me to death. I know that I do live in Africa so you think that I deal with a lot but I see fewer animals and insects here in my house than at home. I am not sure what this is saying about my house but it is the truth. Or I have just become accustomed to living with the lizards and cockroaches which I will take any day over mice.
I went to old Jesca today and we made sugar cookie sandwiches with chocolate frosting that were delicious and then we walked to the next village over and carried bundles of tree poles back for her chicken fence. It was hard work, I made her stop and rest 3 times before we made it back to her house. I then came home to haul a ton of chicken feed from young Jesca house to mine, again this was a lot of work but it needed to be done. After that I had the great idea to try and make chocolate toffee cookies with the toffee candies, think worthers originals but this did not go as planned. They do not taste bad, but they do not taste awesome either.
Besides that not to much is new, still living in fear that there is a whole herd of mice but besides that not much else. Me, Claire, and Jake are going to Randi’s site tomorrow so that should be really fun and Randi is going to teach us a new work out. Should be a great weekend before I head off to Dar and cross your fingers I get a lot of work done there because I have a lot to do.
September 16, 2011
I know I have not written in a while and it is of course because I have been so busy. I went to Randi’s village last weekend. It was a great time. All the volunteers from our region where there it was great. We pretty much just sat around and made really good food. We made pizza and vegetable burritos. It was awesome. We also walked to this really big tree which I of course tried to climb but couldn’t actually get up on to. But Randi was able to climb it. IT was crazy because you have to rock climb it the entire way up. I have now made it my goal to be able to climb it rock climber style by the time I leave. This means I need to get some arm muscles. Not sure how this is going to happen yet. But it was a great time and I got to meet Athena who is the new volunteer in our area.
Then I went to Dar for some meetings. Which is awesome because I am in Dar and I love being here. I have been hanging out with Trudy and Kenzi and attempting to get work done. We have been eating really good food. I had coffee ice cream yesterday and a steak burrito. It was AMAZING. I was planning on going to the beach but I have decided not to. I am going to try and get a bunch of work done in the next 2 days. I know this is lame but I feel like I am still in warp speed. I would really like to stay on top of things in the next few months before I go home and try and accomplish a lot. Hopefully this works. I am excited though because we are going to go to the Holiday Inn and sit at the top and have drinks. Most people will not go with me because they think it to expensive but come on people we are on vacation. So the plan is today to go and sit up there and do a bunch of work. I know LAME but it needs to get done.
I also am hoping to skype with people this week and catch up on everything. I feel like I have been out of the loop lately. I am also going to talk to my professors which I am really looking forward to because again I am freaking out a little about my research. I just am not sure if I am on the right track or really anything about it.
So after this I head back to Dodoma for some more meetings and then finally back to site. I feel like all I do these days is travel. I really just want a week to do nothing and relax not sure when this is going to happen hopefully soon. But that is not going to be the case because I cannot say no to anyone or anything hence I am always so busy but busy is always better than not so I guess I cannot really complain. I think we are also going to see the movie Contagin which I hear is suppose to be really good. I think that will be really fun.
September 21, 2011
I just went to a seminar in Dodoma with about 30 other volunteers that live somewhat around here. It is crazy because I had no idea there were this many volunteers around me. Although most of them really are not but it is at least cool to meet some new people. Claire came up with us to and I think she was just as excited to meet some new people. She leaves in about 2 weeks so it is going to interesting when she is gone. Not really sure if it will be better or worse.
It was a lot of fun though because we all hung out, ate great food, and even played euker. This especially made me miss the cottage and just playing card games. So I was thinking that I might see if Paul wants to get together once a week and play cards. Stealing this idea from my Professor but I think it could be really fun. I are amazing pizza and chicken and got to listen to everyone talk about there projects. Again most people hate this but I love hearing what other people are doing. I do understand why they do not like it but I think it is great. They are all doing so much, they give me great ideas.
I also got picked as a PCV of the week for the incoming environment volunteers. Which is really cool. This means that I will be with them for a week when they first get here, answering questions, telling them about my experiences, and teaching. I am a little scared because it is hard to meet a whole group of new people but also a little comforted in the fact that they are probably all scared as it is all completely different.
I have also decided that I HATE talking about money. I know you should never really talk about it with people but here that is really not an issue because there are no secrets as to how much everyone is getting paid because we all get paid the same and as a result people are very blunt as also really cheap. I cannot really explain it. Most people are broke (I for some reason am not) broke to the point they have maybe $10 in their account at the end of each month. Which sucks but if they want to have money they should learn to save and spend there money differently. Come on people. Really I just do not understand how they have no problem buying 2 beers and going to a movie but cannot spring for a cab home. It drives me insane. Everyone is different I understand but I am really really sick of people talking/ bitching about money.
I came back to the village today and young Jesca has started building her banda. I am so excited. It is awesome. I am also really excited because I want to start making fuel efficient stoves and some other things soon. I have a lot I want to accomplish in the next year but time is just flying by at the moment.
I also talked to my professors about my research. They are really great and help me so much. I am not at the point of the actual research yet. Still stuck in pre-test mode but it is moving along.
September 22, 2011
Today one my bosses came out to my village and saw some of my chicken project. It was really cool and awesome to have someone from PC actually see what I am doing and not just hearing about it. We also went to Paul’s village and also to another village where they might put a new volunteer this year. Which I think would be really sweet. Because the more the merrier.
We also talked about a water project. Which I am really excited about. If everything goes as planned I should be able to write a grant and have an NGO come to my village for 2 weeks and teach the village construction worker how to make a water tank.
Besides that not much else is new. I have about a million things I need to be doing and no time. I am really hoping to get some more stuff done tomorrow, hopefully I can keep up on everything. I just never feel like I am getting ahead, Things just keep pilling up.
I made Dahl today with flat bread. It was really good. I was thinking how we eat so much processed stuff in the US which is crazy because you can make so much good things from scratch that take the same amount of time. I hope when I come home I try to make more stuff from scratch but who knows if that will work or not as I do love boxed pizza.
Also killed a really scary looking millipede today that was trying to enter my house and saw my first ever scorpion. Luckily it was dead but that just makes me wonder where the other ones are lurking. Also learned about a tiger ant. They sound really sweet. They burrow in the ground and form these pits and then when insects fall into them they come out and pounce on them. And also saw some kind of Mahogany tree today that the seeds looked like beautiful pieces of chocolate.
I think the no water period has also begun. All the women stood around the water today waiting for it and it never came. Oh the joys of living in the desert on a plateau in a rain shadow. Not really sure what the government was thinking when they relocated people here. But it still is amazingly beautiful so we got that going for us.
Starting vaccinations tomorrow as well.
September 23, 2011
I spent the entire night in fear for my life as usual. Although this time it was the sound of something trying to get out of a big plastic bag. I convinced myself throughout the night that whatever was in there was going to eat me. But then I decided that it could not get out so that I would just deal with it in the morning. So in the morning I got all geared up because I could still hear it, knocked over the bag and prepared to kill whatever was trying to kill me…..a cockroach with a missing leg. I swear though you would never believe such a small thing could make so much noise.
I also found out that my neighbor ripped me off. This makes me incredibly angry and sad all at the same time because I trust him. He came and sold me and ax and apparently tripled the price from what Jesca said. I think I might actually say something to him just so he knows and maybe make him feel at least a little bad. I just need to muster up the courage. But I have at least started to think about what I might say to him.
Also finding out that I can bath with less than 2 liters of water if I do not wash my hair. I am not sure if I would call this impressive or exactly how low my standards have dropped. But
I feel clean at least and it cuts back on water.
I made Baylor’s bread today with spinach, onion, and tomatoes. Not sure what my thoughts on it are yet. I was kind of hoping it was going to taste like a tomato herb bagel but that was wrong.
September 24,2011
I have decided that I am a watch person. My watch band broke last week and my neighbor is making me in a new one but in the mean time I am finding I have no idea what time it is or date it is and it is killing me. Who knew I would ever be so attached to a watch.
I am reading a book called House Rules at the moment and it is really good. I have done hardly anything else except read the book and am hoping to finish it tomorrow.
I made banana fritters today and they were excellent although they would have been even better had I washed the pan before I used it. They had the slightest taste on rosemary and onions. Not a good combination.
I talked to Andrew today and am super excited to see his house and actually just be in Chicago I guess and of course see everyone. It is weird I have spots where I feel like PC is going to fast and that I have so much to accomplish in such a little time and then I have moments like today when I am just ready to get out. I have found though that I think about staying longer when people ie other volunteers are around me but then I go to the village and am good for a few days and then ready for some more volunteer time. What am I going to do without Claire. I think Paul is going to start getting sick of me as he is my next closest neighbor.
It is just me or are the insects and lizards getting bigger? I am not sure what they are eating but they look huge this week.
September 27, 2011
I met Randi and Claire in town for one last hurrah with just the three of us but of course it turned into 2 nights. Randi found out she had a graduation on Saturday but that is also the day of Claire’s party so we walked to my village and back yesterday so that she could get my bike and I had a meeting to go to. So yesterday I walked 12 miles and I actually did not feel to bad. And it all worked out great because then I was able to bring some furniture back today from Claire’s so finally after 1 year I have a chair to sit on instead of my bed. It is awesome. I also brought back a ton of rice and beans because tomorrow I am having a seminar for AIDS with one of the groups here. I am really nervous about it because it is pretty much all planned last minute which I do not like but it seems something that TZ are use to although I am not sure why they are. This probably has something also to do with the fact that they say if God wish I will see you tomorrow after you have just made plans to meet them tomorrow. It will drive you crazy but anyways pray the seminar is good.
I talked to Han today and we talked about my research again. I am not exactly where I want to be at the moment but I am not in a bad place either. I just am getting worried which is kind of stupid because I do have 10 months to go but I like to stay on top of things and at the moment am not. Which is weird because the reason I am not is because I have been doing actual PC work. It is so weird how I am where I am not and how 1 year ago all I could think about was leaving this place. I am not saying that I will be not be ready to go when it is time but I actually feel like I am doing something at the moment. I have so much more I want to do and am not sure if I will have the time to do it,. I keep meaning to make a calendar but of course that has not happened yet of things that I want to do before I leave. I think with Claire leaving it is going to be really hard but it is also going to be good for me. I think I will be more focused on my village and of course stay in it a lot more which will lead to me hopefully getting more done but of course only time will tell how this really works.
I also feel like I have been traveling a lot. Probably because I have between PC work and my own stuff along with just wanted to hang out with people and then being in my village. I have a full plate.
September 28, 2011
I woke up at the crack of dawn today to vaccinate chickens. Which was really not that bad but I did not know that I was doing that this morning. I had so much to do it just added to things. Today I started a seminar about HIV/AiDS with an NGO. So I spent all morning running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get everything ready and making sure that things were done. On top of this the facilitator was an hour late which nobody else cared about, but me I was freaking out that they had forgot although I did talk to them the day before in TZ ya just do not know.
So after a full day of seminar I came home to rest and have had a stream of people coming in ending with a little quarrel between the Jessica’s. Old thinks that young is going out of her way to make sure she does everything which I do not think is the case at all. She just happens to live really close to me and people keep electing her to be the one to help me. Not really sure what kind of terms they are on now but it ended with young J telling me she doesn’t care for old J. Something’s never change.
Big news. One of Randi’s students got picked to go to the US for 2 weeks which is really awesome because she worked really hard on the applications with the students.
I still have not accomplished as much as I wanted to today but tomorrow is another day so hopefully I actually accomplish something.
September 29, 2011
The Seminar went beautifully today and finished great. I was really proud. The people all seemed to really like it and were engaged with the discussions and asked lots of questions so that is good. I think I am going to plan on doing something with then every month. Next month I am thinking a condom demonstration and movie day. I just need to figure how to get the movie to project.
I am not sure how this has happened but I am so busy there is hardly anytime anymore. Today I was up at 6 and now it is 7 and my day is gone, I have not accomplished anything or done any exercise although I am not to sad about missing exercise obviously but I really want a routine and it just does not exist for me. Oh well.
I made really good oatmeal for dinner. I have decided vanilla is a key ingredient.
I also have been tweaking my research and finding that it is really hard to get people to answer questions differently. I need to start getting a variety of answers and things so I have been trying to ask more in-depth on going questions but the answers are still not to different. I am not sure if it is just that straight forward or if I am just that bad at asking questions.
After the seminar finished and I had finished cleaning up I spent the next hour waiting for water. Now I understand that I should not get preferentially treatment just because I am white but I also think that I should because me waiting for water just taking up a lot of my time. I understand that I do need to live like a villager but at the same time I cannot live with my life revolved around when I am going to get water if they want me to do things. I am so happy this will not be part of my life forever, I also am not sure if that makes me a bad person if I do not want to wait. I know that they are probably thinking why should she get water before everyone but at the same time they are probably also thinking that she should. Also fyi I carried 20 liters of water on my head and did not feel like I was going to die. This is a huge improvement from last week.
Tomorrow should be interesting because the Jessicas have to come together. Hopefully the argument has passed but maybe not. Not really sure what to do about this one.
One last thought, I have decided that I do not feel as good when I am blogging at the moment because the whole time I am just trying to finish so that I can watch the West Wing. That is so bad. But it is so so good.
September 30, 2011
As usual it was another big day. Today at the crack of dawn the women from Subira Group came over and we washed mtama ( I cannot think of what this is in English, sorry). This has what the big discussion between the 2 Jessicas has been about and it still continued today. In the end we washed the mtama I can see both sides. Young Jessica says that the dirt is not good for the chickens and in the book it says we need to do it a certain way but old Jessica thinks that they can just eat it as it is. I think I agree with old Jessica but I am not going to even get in the middle. I just say that I do not care either way. It was really nice though most of the women came and we got a bunch of work done. Then we talked about getting the chickens and what was left to do. Oct 13, 100 3 week old chicks will come to live in Lupeta. I am so excited.
I also worked on my research more today and asked more questions. Still not sure where I am at with all of this but at least I am trying and ya figure that the more that you try the more likely ya are to get somewhere with it all.
The bus that goes by my house everyday to Dar got in an accident and 3 people from my village died. I have never taken this bus but was planning on taking it within the next month. I think I am going to rethink this and maybe just take the Mpwapwa bus but I do not know. I think it was just an innocent accident but it still scares me a bit.
I swear the house work never ends here. As soon as I finish one things there is another thing to do. I never feel like I can just relax between house work and PC work. That is one thing that stinks about living and working in the same place. There is nowhere to escape to unless ya leave the village. That is one thing I will appreciate when I return home, boundaries I guess ya would say.
I cannot wait to have a kraki sandwich with better made chips and pickles. I think this is going to be one of my first meals when I come home. It sounds so good. This and a lot of cheese and hot sticks.
October 2, 2011
Let me just say how AWESOME it is that Michigan is winning. So wish that I could be at a game. But at least I will be able to watch a game or 2 when I am home and eat some amazing food and drink a good cold beer for once.
We had Claire’s going away party last night. It was more than I could have ever expected. Her friends from the college told her it was an engagement party for one of her friends so that was the cover story for the beginning of the night. The decorated a restaurant and everything. I felt like I was at a wedding but it was beautiful and a really good way I think for Claire to leave. I do have one thing to say maybe 2. First TZ dance kind of weird, I just do not get how the music and rhythm go together. Also weird because they dance to a lot of gospel type music. Secondly I think Ashleigh’s wedding is going to be messy with BBQ. I am not making any promises on keeping my closes clean.
Also when I came in this morning, I waited for the bus for 1 hour only to find it was full. So after chilling and planning on taking the bus I find out it is full and that I have to walk in. Not very happy about this. My first reaction was dangit I just took a shower last night and washed my hair. Only someone that had a water problem would be concerned about the amount of water that has been used.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
CInnamon Rolls as big as your HEAD!!!
August 4, 2011
So I am not really sure how to begin this or anything. It has been 2 weeks since I have last blogged which is a super long time for me. I am not sure how this happened either, I have just been so busy or having too much fun doing other things. I hope I can remember the last 2 weeks.
First I have to say that I went to Iringa with Paul and Tanya and met a bunch more volunteers. We all went down to Iringa which is in the south of the country to go to a theater workshop that I was not to excited about but I got to bring Jesca the younger which I thought was great because she could really benefit from the workshop if not just as a vacation. I was greatly impressed to find that I really enjoyed myself at it and learned some stuff. I also was not my lame self and went out a lot. The theater camp was a community participatory workshop focused on HIV/AIDS. There were about 40 of us there, 20 volunteers and 20 counterparts. We all broke into 3 groups:2 groups for skits and 1 dance group. I picked the dance group because I figured if I have to be on stage I mind as well be dancing. It was so much fun we learned a Maasai dance and at the end of the week preformed it for the secondary school girls. It was awesome. (I will try to put it online) It also made me really want to start to learn to dance. I am not sure if you have noticed or not but I have no rhythm in my body. But I do, do a mean chicken dance.
It was really fun because at night we got to just hang out with everyone. We all stayed in the same hotel, it kind of felt like I imagine dorm life to be if I would have ever lived in one. It was great we went out and got good food, went to the bar, and even played some cards.
On our way back from Iringa, me and Tanya met up with Claire and Randi in Dodoma and went to this awesome pizza place. I am not sure if it is because I have not had pizza in so long or what but It was amazing. We then went to the bar and hung out. It was a really nice night.
In Dodoma I bought granola and yogurt which was amazing. I so wish I had electricity so that I could have yogurt everyday. On that note I might have over did myself on yogurt and candy in Iringa. I am not sure what happened but I ate way, way too much. It was really bad.
Claire wanted Randi to teach us some exercises because we always talk about it, but never actually do anything. Well Randi woke us up at 6 am and we did some type of P90X. I could have killed Randi when she woke me up, but then after a little bit I was really happy that she did. Although now I just realize more how out of shape I am, but I guess you have to start somewhere. And this is the perfect time as I am coming home in November for Ashleigh’s wedding. I feel like this is a good goal. Look good in a dress by then and possibly not have a farmers tan.
I got back to my village on Tuesday and it was great, I went through all the motions and got everything in order and then laid down to read with my door open like normal. Well…..this turned out to be a bad idea because 2 little kids made it all the way into my house and almost all the way out without me hearing. I heard them and ran after them and caught one of them. He is about 4 and had my watch. The other one just kept running but I never thought he had anything only to discover that he had taken my phone. Out of all the things that he could have taken. Well then I went to his house but his mom did not understand what happened so I went and got Jesca. Well after talking to lots of people and many officials. I of coarse still have no phone and everyone is all over the place about it. One person suggested I offer a reward and it will come back. Which it probably would but what would stop someone from stealing something else again if they knew they could get money. Not thinking that I will ever get it back and not really sure how I feel about the entire situation. First off people got into my house with me in it without me knowing, which kind of scares me. Secondly these kids were very small, so what made them decide to steal from me? Did someone older tell them to do this and if so who? There Mom, brother? I have no idea. This also sucks because this means I really do need to keep my door shut and now no kids are allowed at my house. Also I do not care to much because it could have been worse and it was just a phone but then I think what could be next and I really just feel really violated. Also this might have been the worst week for this to happen I have so much work to do and I am trying to finish my pre-test for my research. Which is really, really stressing me out. I just do not know what to do. All of the research is on me, if anything happens and it goes wrong it will be all my fault. And I know things are going to go wrong. I guess I just do not have enough confidence in myself. But I think once I actually start it and get the ball rolling everything will be fine and I will be ready.
I forgot that one of my best friends in the ENTIRE world is getting married: Jenna. I am so happy for her you have no idea. Especially since she has been driving me crazy trying to guess when and where Josh would propose. This is awesome. This brings the count of close friends/ family who have gotten engaged while I have been in country up to I think 9 or 10. Statistics were correct when they said most people get married around 25. I think I am not going to be following the curve but ya never know I might just fall in love with a Tanzanian.
August 5, 2011
I spent the five hours talking to the village government about my stolen phone. It was insane, the entire neighborhood for the most part was there and they all had their 2 cents to throw in. It was crazy at one point they had a line up of all the kids in the neighborhood and they were asked to state their name, who I was, and where I lived. It was a long drawn out process that I am not sure my thoughts on yet. I think it was good because I did need to make a fuss about getting my phone stolen or they would have just done it again and I also wanted to scare the little kids so that they would never do something like this again. Not really sure how this worked because it turned into a parents need to return the phone or we are going to the police (which was a bluff). All I know was it was a long meeting where I understood very little. I am still hoping my phone finds its way back to me but if not I am not sad. I now just want to put this whole thing behind me and stop hearing everyone tell me how sorry they are. I also hope I do not hold a grudge against the families. I am going to try not to but I think it is going to take some time.
I cleaned my house today in preparation for 2 new volunteers to spend a week in the village with me. I am probably more excited then they are about this. But now my house is clean and I am just excited now. I also did plyometrics that Randi showed me today. They were really hard but actually kind of fun.
Also find out that I have a mentally handicapped person living be himself next door. Still not sure my thoughts on this. It kind of scares me, but he must be harmless considering how over protective the village is. Although at the moment I can hear him yelling. Really hope this stops because I cannot go to sleep with someone yelling. I just do not think I would have good dreams.
Going to old Jesca tomorrow to hangout with her family it has been way to long. How did this happen. I am super busy now all the time which is great but I feel like I have not caught my breath in a month.
Also helping so kids out with their chemistry homework. Makes me really miss chemistry but also reminds me of how much stuff I have forgotten. Chemistry is really hard when you do not remember anything. Makes me wonder how I survived High School and College let alone got a degree in Chemistry.
August 6, 2011
I went over to old Jesca when I woke up because I have said a lot in the last few weeks that I would come over and have yet to make it. So I went over and of course ended up staying the whole day, it kind of reminds me when I go to Aunt Tricia’s and then find out that I have been there for 5 hours already. Crazy how time can fly. It was as fun as always. We talked, I helped her build nesting boxes for her banda, which by the way is huge. I am going to talk a picture and attempt to put it up because it is insane how huge it is. She also went with me while I did some pre-test surveys for my research. It was really nice because by her being with me it made me actually do the surveys and not continue to put it off.
I really enjoyed helping her build the nesting boxes. I forgot how much fun it is to build things. It was great. I also learned to make cabbage and tomatoes the right way. I attempted it last night and it did not really turn out but today Jesca’s daughter showed me how to make it.
I also got some more work done for the goat seminar and am getting things ready for my guests. I do not know where all the time went today but it is already really late and I am really tired yet I am still going to watch the West Wing. I am addicted.
August 11, 2011
So I have had 2 new education volunteers at my site for the last few days. It has been very interesting. I think I am over explaining everything because I think of when I first went to shadow and how I did not know anything and I was really in a sense scared I guess. So I have been over explaining everything which I am sure is driving them nuts. I told them just to tell me to stop talking if they understand. Also I am having a hard time letting them talk for themselves around the village. It is just a natural reflex I think. I also think about how when I go with Claire and Randi I let them talk and my brain just turns off because I figure they can listen for me. Either way it has been interesting. Marshal and Rose came to visit me and in the first day I thought we were going to have some major problems this week because Marshal really needed internet for what I am still not sure. But I was explaining to him that we did not have very good internet here and that on top of that at my site there is no service let alone internet. He has survived thus far although I am not sure if he could live in my village. It was also nice having them here because I was able to show them around my village and I realized that I do know a lot of my villagers and really have no trouble interacting with them. If only to ask if they are speaking Kigogo to please explain in Swahili. It was nice. I also realized that I do have a lot of projects going on at the moment, This makes me really happy although I am so busy at the moment that I am constantly on the run. But I would rather be on the run than not. I have a little of my dad in me I think.
I also vaccinated chickens this week and added up how many I have vaccinated thus far. Wait for it…. I have vaccinated 1500 chickens within the last few months which is insane and with the money that has been made I think we will be able to buy a few piglets for my pig project. I think I am the livestock queen now. Not sure my thoughts on this yet but it is better than nothing.
Also have done my pretest this week and am going to try and look at the results in the next few days. It was weird as I was asking some of the questions I was realizing how stupid they are and not really needed. But I guess I needed to write them down first to realize that they were not needed.
August 23, 2011
It has been a huge whirlwind this entire past month. I feel like I have been in a full on sprint, but I cannot complain, it is better than the alternative. I just spent the last week in Dar es Salaam with all of the volunteers that I started my service with. It was so much fun. We all stayed together at a hotel in town. I honestly cannot remember much of the last week, but here is what I remember. First right outside the hotel, is one of the best restaurants that I have been to in TZ. It is just a hole in the wall restaurant that has plastic tables set up on the side walk. It is so good though. They sell street chicken, French fries, and all kinds of other grill type food. I am really excited to take my Dad there along with a bar that I found that has live music at night. Since this was a seminar we had to go to the office everyday and it just so happened that there are is a peacock that was given to the President of TZ that has free range of all of Dar for the most part. And for this week he decided to set up camp in at the PC office. I cannot believe how beautiful peacocks are, but they are really loud. I might put them along the lines of a loon. And you all know how much I love loons.
Claire had to come in the same week as us, me, her, and a bunch of people from VSO went to this beautiful restaurant on the water and just sat and talked all afternoon. It was super relaxing, I almost thought I was on vacation. We also got invited to out Country Directors house for a nice dinner. It was a great dinner. I also played basketball while I was there and realized how out of shape I am and now how much I suck at basketball. It also reminded me on playing basketball in high school and how much enjoyed it and also how much I practiced.
Also during the day, we listened to everyone talk about their projects. I found this super interesting, but I know it stressed a lot of people out. But I thought it was super interesting to see what everyone else was doing and draw ideas off of them. I also realized that I need to finish what projects I have at the moment before I start anything new. We also had a meeting with just the environment people and this was really nice. I have a great boss. He showed us these TED talks and I thought they were amazing. One was about it being ok to be a follower and the other one was about starting a movement. I really enjoyed them and they got me more excited to go back to site and get some projects done.
I have a goat seminar that was suppose to happen this week but of course the facilitator was not able to make it so now it is scheduled for next week. It is becoming somewhat stressful because I really want to be a professional and be taken seriously, which I actually think I am, but at the same time for me professionalism also involves doing things when I say that they are going to be and getting them done. But of course I think I am the only one that is really stressed about it, Jesca said not to worry about it, this is Africa. Which she is right, I just need to not be so uptight about things. I am also a little worried because this is my first seminar that I have ever done and I want it to be a success. I think I will be in a much better mood once I finish this seminar and will be able to relax some. But really between this seminar and my research I think I am at my limit for stress. It also doesn’t help that I turned in a pre-test survey to my professors and I do not think it was written very well and thinking back I am not sure if I actually answered my statements of hypothesis. I am not sure what has happened to my brain in the last few weeks but I would really like it to come back to me. I also really need to start exercising again because this is definitely a good way to relieve some of my stress. I am not sure if writing this all down has actually helped me or made me more stressed. But at least I am aware of what I have to do in the next few weeks. How can I already need a vacation.
August 24, 2011
Today has been pretty much going the same as all the other days expect Paul slept at my house last night and then left early this morning. I wonder what all the villagers are thinking about at the moment. I am pretty sure there is a big consensus that we must be together but maybe not. He is here again tonight because he got back late from town. So we will see what tomorrow morning brings. I taught again at the secondary school. I taught them about controlled, independent, and dependent variables and did a really cool experiment that shows an egg floating. I also found out how hard it is to teach chemistry. I am not sure if they understand. It did not help that my Swahili was extra bad today but I said we would work on it next week. I then came home and passed out, to the point where I was drooling. It has been a long week already. Then my women’s group came over and we talked chickens which is always so much fun. They are just a great group of women, I am very happy that they found me. That was about all I did today although I am in the processes of making some new calendars and attempting to put my life back in order. I am really slow in getting everything back to normal, I am a little worried that by the time I get it back to normal I will have to leave again and it will all be a mess again. But that is usually how I live my life anyways so no point in changing now.
This weekend some VSO people are suppose to come out to my village and see the work that I am doing. I am really excited about this because I love showing off my village, especially now because I feel like such a part of it. I really feel at home and comfortable here. I am super excited for my dad to see where I have been living and what I have been doing. I am really happy that Jenna and Hannah came when they did, but I really wish they could also come back because I feel like I have so much more to show them. But in all actuality they had limited time and did see all of the important things. They saw my house and met the Jescas and really that is all that I really wanted them to see.
August 26, 2011
So I went into town yesterday with a few people from one of the organizations here. We went to talk with an Tunajoli which is a USAID program. It went really well and I think they are going to come out to the village and teach a seminar about HIV/AIDS. I then got some more stuff done before calling Claire and telling her that I was in town. It is amazing how much stuff you can get done when you are by yourself. I see me actually coming into town and leaving within the same day after Claire leaves. I told Randi about this but said that this would not work for her because if she was coming into town I was also coming in to hang out with her. I am going to say it is the curse of being a twin always wanting to do things with people and never wanting to do anything alone. I blame Andrew.
So of course I ended up staying in town and we went over and met this family that lived in Mpwapwa for 15 years and were just coming back for a visit. They were a family from England and she was a doctor at the hospital for a long time. They have 3 kids that went to boarding school in England and lived in Mpwapwa until they were like 9. Crazy life. They said that when they arrived there were only 2 phones in the entire county and that they were not hooked up to water. I cannot even imagine that. Not sure if I would have survived. It was really nice to talk to them and get there perspective on things. They also said that they knew of my village and that it was really nice and we had a wonderful choir. It made be very proud especially because most of my friends in the village are in the choir. Apparently not a lot of choirs play traditional music like ours does.
I then walked back this morning and talked a little but on the phone to the new volunteer that is going to be living by us. She seems really nice. I am really excited to meet her. Also tomorrow people from VSO are coming to the village, I think they are going to think that I am crazy seeing as they live in the city and I live in the boonies. We are going to look at a few of the bandas that have been built and I am going to introduce them to the Jessica’s. Of course old Jessica was super excited about this.
August 28, 2011
It has been another interesting few days. Yesterday I started off the day in a great mood and accomplished a lot. I thought to myself, God I am so lucky to be living here. It is just great. I feel awesome and I really love my village. And then it continues to be a great day with me just doing errands. In the afternoon, VSO people came and looked at my projects which was really great because it made me feel so proud. We then all went out to dinner and then to a disco. Crazy they had a disco in Mpwapwa and it was just like a high school dance down to all the kids being drunk. Very crazy, I also saw some awesome dancing. I would love to learn to break dance. How awesome would that be.
I then woke this morning and went and met with an environmental officer that is suppose to facilitate my goat seminar. I am was in a good mood up until this point. He said weeks ago that he could help and is still going to help but I am just really over all these government officials asking for gifts and so on and so forth. He told me he needed new tires, I told him I could not help him but I would pay for his gas to the village. He was fine with that but then he went on to talk about how the government is so corrupt. I just wonder what him asking for tires was if not corruption. After that I have been in a really funky mood. I think I just have a lot on my plate and really need to get some office work done this week. Everything is still going great I am just really disorganized and a little worried about my research . I know that is will all turn out but time seems to be flying by and I am still moving so slow. I am hoping to make some more head way in the next few weeks. I am slowly feeling better but still really stressed. I think everything will be a ton better after this goat seminar is all taken care of. Cross your fingers it goes well.
Also talked to Andrew today, I am so jealous that he got LASIK. I cannot wait to get it. Also really excited to see his new apartment and very jealous of everyone that is going to Keith and Kelli’s wedding. I so wish I could be there but at least I am going to make it to Ashleigh’s. Also I heard that the Polish Festival is back and Rosa Parks and it is pretty awesome. Very excited to be able to go next year. And at present am dreaming of kielbasa, kapusta, and rye bread with lots of horseradish.
August 31, 2011
So I did not blog yesterday because I was to tired and not in the mood, I think this is a first for me although lately I have been having a hard time blogging. I feel like I am just stating facts at the moment and am not actually thinking. I think this is a result of me being so busy but I do not like it, I feel like my brain has turned off at the moment. But anyways yesterday was good. I helped plan a seminar about HIV/AIDS which I am really excited about. And then today me and Jesca went into town to try and get an idea of how much food we need to buy and when we are going to get the chickens. It all went really well. I think the chickens are going to be coming the 2nd week of October if everything goes as planned. Randi and 2 people from her village are coming tomorrow for the goat seminar so it should be good. I am a little worried about if the Bwana Shamba is going to come and teach though because Thursday is a religious holiday. I really hope he comes though because everything is set. If he doesn’t come I think I will just teach the seminar which is not what I wanted to do, but it is better than not having it. It already has been moved 3 times, I do not want to have to move it again and really I do not have the time to keep moving it. I hope it goes well though because I really want to do a seminar for cows too but I cannot do this unless things go well. Wish me LUCK.
Also ate a papaya today with bananas and granola and thought to myself how awesome it is that I am eating this food here, where this food was grown. Also papaya looks gorgeous when you cut it open.
Oh and you are going to like this one. I found out I have bed bugs. I am severly grossed out
about this but not enough to not sleep in my bed tonight. Me and Jesca bought medicine and are going to take care of it tomorrow but really how gross is that. I keep such a clean house to, I do not understand where they came from although thinking about it maybe it is from me vaccinating all of those chickens. I think I am going to have to do some research. But I just want to make this clear: I SHOWER EVERY DAY HERE, and am probably cleaner here than at home.
August 31, 2011
So Randi got here today and I actually think we might pull off the seminar. So far everything has gone as it was planned and the person who is suppose to teach said that he will here tomorrow even thought tomorrow is a holiday. It is the Muslim holiday Ida which is a 2 day celebration. Funny thing about is you do not know when it is going to be until the night before, it has something to do with the moon. I still do not get it all the way.
September 1, 2011
The first day of the seminar went surprisingly well although there were still a few bumps in the road. It also seems that tomorrow Jesca is going to explain where the money is going. Apparently they think that I am stealing it although I am not sure what I would do with the money seeing is the seminar cost more than what they paid. That is one thing that I am really happy about in the US people trust each other I think a lot more. Although because I have been here I am not as trusting and seem to think sometimes that I am getting cheating when really most people are trustworthy but it just takes that one person to make you doubt everyone. Very unfortunate.
Also yesterday old Jesca was telling us about the Germans living here and how before they left they hide all of their belongings underground in bunkers. So now people are looking for them but they think they are haunted by ghosts. It is crazy but then she was saying that you can buy this oil that makes you invisible to the ghost so that you can sneak by them and get the German artifacts. Can you believe this stuff. I had her explain it all to Randi just to make sure that I do understand it. Also realized my Swahili is terrible. Randi is awesome at it. It bothered me a little at first, but now I do not mind it. I understand my community and I am still able to do my work I just sound like an idiot when I am talking. Also weird that nobody in my village corrects me until there are other white people are so I of course look even more stupid. Oh well at least I am use to it.
September 2, 2011
We finished the goat seminar today and I really thought that I was going to feel less stressed but this is not the case. I am not sure what is going on, I think I just have too much on my plate and I am thinking about my research and wanting it to go well but not really sure if it is. Although Blair and Tom are being a ton of help, I think it is just me needing to fret about something.
Randi and Paul were a lot of help with the seminar and were really good for support. I think it went really well and they were all really excited to get the certificates that I had made which I find a little crazy because really it is just a piece of paper but they were ecstatic about them. We all took a group picture which I am going to send out to everyone that helped me fund this seminar.
After Paul, Randi, and me climbed my mountain. I cannot tell you how much I think I like hiking and then find that after I start hiking I really do not like it that much at all. Crazy how that works. I am not sure if I would really want to hike Mount Kili or not at this point. I have a thought that I might not be able to make it because then I think about when I climbed the Grand Tetons and that was really hard and I was in shape at that time. We shall see what happens. Also I really, REALLY want to go skiing. This next year could not go fast enough. I cannot wait to ski again but I am also a little scared at how rusty I will be.
I have decided 2 things that I am going to be really happy about when I get back to the US. The fact that I can go swimming whenever I want to and that I can eat cold food. Cold papaya at the moment sounds like the most amazing food in the world that an actually sauerkraut ( I think I am dreaming of Polish food because my dad was talking about the Polish festival).
September 3, 2011
Congrats to Kelli and Keith on their wedding day. I hope it went great. I came into town today with Randi. We walked in. I am so tired, really need to get some energy back. We just laid around the house today and Claire made Dalh. it was amazing I think that when I get back to the states I am going to have a wide range of food to cook. Also made cinnamon rolls today but they were not as big as your head like in the UP.
So I am not really sure how to begin this or anything. It has been 2 weeks since I have last blogged which is a super long time for me. I am not sure how this happened either, I have just been so busy or having too much fun doing other things. I hope I can remember the last 2 weeks.
First I have to say that I went to Iringa with Paul and Tanya and met a bunch more volunteers. We all went down to Iringa which is in the south of the country to go to a theater workshop that I was not to excited about but I got to bring Jesca the younger which I thought was great because she could really benefit from the workshop if not just as a vacation. I was greatly impressed to find that I really enjoyed myself at it and learned some stuff. I also was not my lame self and went out a lot. The theater camp was a community participatory workshop focused on HIV/AIDS. There were about 40 of us there, 20 volunteers and 20 counterparts. We all broke into 3 groups:2 groups for skits and 1 dance group. I picked the dance group because I figured if I have to be on stage I mind as well be dancing. It was so much fun we learned a Maasai dance and at the end of the week preformed it for the secondary school girls. It was awesome. (I will try to put it online) It also made me really want to start to learn to dance. I am not sure if you have noticed or not but I have no rhythm in my body. But I do, do a mean chicken dance.
It was really fun because at night we got to just hang out with everyone. We all stayed in the same hotel, it kind of felt like I imagine dorm life to be if I would have ever lived in one. It was great we went out and got good food, went to the bar, and even played some cards.
On our way back from Iringa, me and Tanya met up with Claire and Randi in Dodoma and went to this awesome pizza place. I am not sure if it is because I have not had pizza in so long or what but It was amazing. We then went to the bar and hung out. It was a really nice night.
In Dodoma I bought granola and yogurt which was amazing. I so wish I had electricity so that I could have yogurt everyday. On that note I might have over did myself on yogurt and candy in Iringa. I am not sure what happened but I ate way, way too much. It was really bad.
Claire wanted Randi to teach us some exercises because we always talk about it, but never actually do anything. Well Randi woke us up at 6 am and we did some type of P90X. I could have killed Randi when she woke me up, but then after a little bit I was really happy that she did. Although now I just realize more how out of shape I am, but I guess you have to start somewhere. And this is the perfect time as I am coming home in November for Ashleigh’s wedding. I feel like this is a good goal. Look good in a dress by then and possibly not have a farmers tan.
I got back to my village on Tuesday and it was great, I went through all the motions and got everything in order and then laid down to read with my door open like normal. Well…..this turned out to be a bad idea because 2 little kids made it all the way into my house and almost all the way out without me hearing. I heard them and ran after them and caught one of them. He is about 4 and had my watch. The other one just kept running but I never thought he had anything only to discover that he had taken my phone. Out of all the things that he could have taken. Well then I went to his house but his mom did not understand what happened so I went and got Jesca. Well after talking to lots of people and many officials. I of coarse still have no phone and everyone is all over the place about it. One person suggested I offer a reward and it will come back. Which it probably would but what would stop someone from stealing something else again if they knew they could get money. Not thinking that I will ever get it back and not really sure how I feel about the entire situation. First off people got into my house with me in it without me knowing, which kind of scares me. Secondly these kids were very small, so what made them decide to steal from me? Did someone older tell them to do this and if so who? There Mom, brother? I have no idea. This also sucks because this means I really do need to keep my door shut and now no kids are allowed at my house. Also I do not care to much because it could have been worse and it was just a phone but then I think what could be next and I really just feel really violated. Also this might have been the worst week for this to happen I have so much work to do and I am trying to finish my pre-test for my research. Which is really, really stressing me out. I just do not know what to do. All of the research is on me, if anything happens and it goes wrong it will be all my fault. And I know things are going to go wrong. I guess I just do not have enough confidence in myself. But I think once I actually start it and get the ball rolling everything will be fine and I will be ready.
I forgot that one of my best friends in the ENTIRE world is getting married: Jenna. I am so happy for her you have no idea. Especially since she has been driving me crazy trying to guess when and where Josh would propose. This is awesome. This brings the count of close friends/ family who have gotten engaged while I have been in country up to I think 9 or 10. Statistics were correct when they said most people get married around 25. I think I am not going to be following the curve but ya never know I might just fall in love with a Tanzanian.
August 5, 2011
I spent the five hours talking to the village government about my stolen phone. It was insane, the entire neighborhood for the most part was there and they all had their 2 cents to throw in. It was crazy at one point they had a line up of all the kids in the neighborhood and they were asked to state their name, who I was, and where I lived. It was a long drawn out process that I am not sure my thoughts on yet. I think it was good because I did need to make a fuss about getting my phone stolen or they would have just done it again and I also wanted to scare the little kids so that they would never do something like this again. Not really sure how this worked because it turned into a parents need to return the phone or we are going to the police (which was a bluff). All I know was it was a long meeting where I understood very little. I am still hoping my phone finds its way back to me but if not I am not sad. I now just want to put this whole thing behind me and stop hearing everyone tell me how sorry they are. I also hope I do not hold a grudge against the families. I am going to try not to but I think it is going to take some time.
I cleaned my house today in preparation for 2 new volunteers to spend a week in the village with me. I am probably more excited then they are about this. But now my house is clean and I am just excited now. I also did plyometrics that Randi showed me today. They were really hard but actually kind of fun.
Also find out that I have a mentally handicapped person living be himself next door. Still not sure my thoughts on this. It kind of scares me, but he must be harmless considering how over protective the village is. Although at the moment I can hear him yelling. Really hope this stops because I cannot go to sleep with someone yelling. I just do not think I would have good dreams.
Going to old Jesca tomorrow to hangout with her family it has been way to long. How did this happen. I am super busy now all the time which is great but I feel like I have not caught my breath in a month.
Also helping so kids out with their chemistry homework. Makes me really miss chemistry but also reminds me of how much stuff I have forgotten. Chemistry is really hard when you do not remember anything. Makes me wonder how I survived High School and College let alone got a degree in Chemistry.
August 6, 2011
I went over to old Jesca when I woke up because I have said a lot in the last few weeks that I would come over and have yet to make it. So I went over and of course ended up staying the whole day, it kind of reminds me when I go to Aunt Tricia’s and then find out that I have been there for 5 hours already. Crazy how time can fly. It was as fun as always. We talked, I helped her build nesting boxes for her banda, which by the way is huge. I am going to talk a picture and attempt to put it up because it is insane how huge it is. She also went with me while I did some pre-test surveys for my research. It was really nice because by her being with me it made me actually do the surveys and not continue to put it off.
I really enjoyed helping her build the nesting boxes. I forgot how much fun it is to build things. It was great. I also learned to make cabbage and tomatoes the right way. I attempted it last night and it did not really turn out but today Jesca’s daughter showed me how to make it.
I also got some more work done for the goat seminar and am getting things ready for my guests. I do not know where all the time went today but it is already really late and I am really tired yet I am still going to watch the West Wing. I am addicted.
August 11, 2011
So I have had 2 new education volunteers at my site for the last few days. It has been very interesting. I think I am over explaining everything because I think of when I first went to shadow and how I did not know anything and I was really in a sense scared I guess. So I have been over explaining everything which I am sure is driving them nuts. I told them just to tell me to stop talking if they understand. Also I am having a hard time letting them talk for themselves around the village. It is just a natural reflex I think. I also think about how when I go with Claire and Randi I let them talk and my brain just turns off because I figure they can listen for me. Either way it has been interesting. Marshal and Rose came to visit me and in the first day I thought we were going to have some major problems this week because Marshal really needed internet for what I am still not sure. But I was explaining to him that we did not have very good internet here and that on top of that at my site there is no service let alone internet. He has survived thus far although I am not sure if he could live in my village. It was also nice having them here because I was able to show them around my village and I realized that I do know a lot of my villagers and really have no trouble interacting with them. If only to ask if they are speaking Kigogo to please explain in Swahili. It was nice. I also realized that I do have a lot of projects going on at the moment, This makes me really happy although I am so busy at the moment that I am constantly on the run. But I would rather be on the run than not. I have a little of my dad in me I think.
I also vaccinated chickens this week and added up how many I have vaccinated thus far. Wait for it…. I have vaccinated 1500 chickens within the last few months which is insane and with the money that has been made I think we will be able to buy a few piglets for my pig project. I think I am the livestock queen now. Not sure my thoughts on this yet but it is better than nothing.
Also have done my pretest this week and am going to try and look at the results in the next few days. It was weird as I was asking some of the questions I was realizing how stupid they are and not really needed. But I guess I needed to write them down first to realize that they were not needed.
August 23, 2011
It has been a huge whirlwind this entire past month. I feel like I have been in a full on sprint, but I cannot complain, it is better than the alternative. I just spent the last week in Dar es Salaam with all of the volunteers that I started my service with. It was so much fun. We all stayed together at a hotel in town. I honestly cannot remember much of the last week, but here is what I remember. First right outside the hotel, is one of the best restaurants that I have been to in TZ. It is just a hole in the wall restaurant that has plastic tables set up on the side walk. It is so good though. They sell street chicken, French fries, and all kinds of other grill type food. I am really excited to take my Dad there along with a bar that I found that has live music at night. Since this was a seminar we had to go to the office everyday and it just so happened that there are is a peacock that was given to the President of TZ that has free range of all of Dar for the most part. And for this week he decided to set up camp in at the PC office. I cannot believe how beautiful peacocks are, but they are really loud. I might put them along the lines of a loon. And you all know how much I love loons.
Claire had to come in the same week as us, me, her, and a bunch of people from VSO went to this beautiful restaurant on the water and just sat and talked all afternoon. It was super relaxing, I almost thought I was on vacation. We also got invited to out Country Directors house for a nice dinner. It was a great dinner. I also played basketball while I was there and realized how out of shape I am and now how much I suck at basketball. It also reminded me on playing basketball in high school and how much enjoyed it and also how much I practiced.
Also during the day, we listened to everyone talk about their projects. I found this super interesting, but I know it stressed a lot of people out. But I thought it was super interesting to see what everyone else was doing and draw ideas off of them. I also realized that I need to finish what projects I have at the moment before I start anything new. We also had a meeting with just the environment people and this was really nice. I have a great boss. He showed us these TED talks and I thought they were amazing. One was about it being ok to be a follower and the other one was about starting a movement. I really enjoyed them and they got me more excited to go back to site and get some projects done.
I have a goat seminar that was suppose to happen this week but of course the facilitator was not able to make it so now it is scheduled for next week. It is becoming somewhat stressful because I really want to be a professional and be taken seriously, which I actually think I am, but at the same time for me professionalism also involves doing things when I say that they are going to be and getting them done. But of course I think I am the only one that is really stressed about it, Jesca said not to worry about it, this is Africa. Which she is right, I just need to not be so uptight about things. I am also a little worried because this is my first seminar that I have ever done and I want it to be a success. I think I will be in a much better mood once I finish this seminar and will be able to relax some. But really between this seminar and my research I think I am at my limit for stress. It also doesn’t help that I turned in a pre-test survey to my professors and I do not think it was written very well and thinking back I am not sure if I actually answered my statements of hypothesis. I am not sure what has happened to my brain in the last few weeks but I would really like it to come back to me. I also really need to start exercising again because this is definitely a good way to relieve some of my stress. I am not sure if writing this all down has actually helped me or made me more stressed. But at least I am aware of what I have to do in the next few weeks. How can I already need a vacation.
August 24, 2011
Today has been pretty much going the same as all the other days expect Paul slept at my house last night and then left early this morning. I wonder what all the villagers are thinking about at the moment. I am pretty sure there is a big consensus that we must be together but maybe not. He is here again tonight because he got back late from town. So we will see what tomorrow morning brings. I taught again at the secondary school. I taught them about controlled, independent, and dependent variables and did a really cool experiment that shows an egg floating. I also found out how hard it is to teach chemistry. I am not sure if they understand. It did not help that my Swahili was extra bad today but I said we would work on it next week. I then came home and passed out, to the point where I was drooling. It has been a long week already. Then my women’s group came over and we talked chickens which is always so much fun. They are just a great group of women, I am very happy that they found me. That was about all I did today although I am in the processes of making some new calendars and attempting to put my life back in order. I am really slow in getting everything back to normal, I am a little worried that by the time I get it back to normal I will have to leave again and it will all be a mess again. But that is usually how I live my life anyways so no point in changing now.
This weekend some VSO people are suppose to come out to my village and see the work that I am doing. I am really excited about this because I love showing off my village, especially now because I feel like such a part of it. I really feel at home and comfortable here. I am super excited for my dad to see where I have been living and what I have been doing. I am really happy that Jenna and Hannah came when they did, but I really wish they could also come back because I feel like I have so much more to show them. But in all actuality they had limited time and did see all of the important things. They saw my house and met the Jescas and really that is all that I really wanted them to see.
August 26, 2011
So I went into town yesterday with a few people from one of the organizations here. We went to talk with an Tunajoli which is a USAID program. It went really well and I think they are going to come out to the village and teach a seminar about HIV/AIDS. I then got some more stuff done before calling Claire and telling her that I was in town. It is amazing how much stuff you can get done when you are by yourself. I see me actually coming into town and leaving within the same day after Claire leaves. I told Randi about this but said that this would not work for her because if she was coming into town I was also coming in to hang out with her. I am going to say it is the curse of being a twin always wanting to do things with people and never wanting to do anything alone. I blame Andrew.
So of course I ended up staying in town and we went over and met this family that lived in Mpwapwa for 15 years and were just coming back for a visit. They were a family from England and she was a doctor at the hospital for a long time. They have 3 kids that went to boarding school in England and lived in Mpwapwa until they were like 9. Crazy life. They said that when they arrived there were only 2 phones in the entire county and that they were not hooked up to water. I cannot even imagine that. Not sure if I would have survived. It was really nice to talk to them and get there perspective on things. They also said that they knew of my village and that it was really nice and we had a wonderful choir. It made be very proud especially because most of my friends in the village are in the choir. Apparently not a lot of choirs play traditional music like ours does.
I then walked back this morning and talked a little but on the phone to the new volunteer that is going to be living by us. She seems really nice. I am really excited to meet her. Also tomorrow people from VSO are coming to the village, I think they are going to think that I am crazy seeing as they live in the city and I live in the boonies. We are going to look at a few of the bandas that have been built and I am going to introduce them to the Jessica’s. Of course old Jessica was super excited about this.
August 28, 2011
It has been another interesting few days. Yesterday I started off the day in a great mood and accomplished a lot. I thought to myself, God I am so lucky to be living here. It is just great. I feel awesome and I really love my village. And then it continues to be a great day with me just doing errands. In the afternoon, VSO people came and looked at my projects which was really great because it made me feel so proud. We then all went out to dinner and then to a disco. Crazy they had a disco in Mpwapwa and it was just like a high school dance down to all the kids being drunk. Very crazy, I also saw some awesome dancing. I would love to learn to break dance. How awesome would that be.
I then woke this morning and went and met with an environmental officer that is suppose to facilitate my goat seminar. I am was in a good mood up until this point. He said weeks ago that he could help and is still going to help but I am just really over all these government officials asking for gifts and so on and so forth. He told me he needed new tires, I told him I could not help him but I would pay for his gas to the village. He was fine with that but then he went on to talk about how the government is so corrupt. I just wonder what him asking for tires was if not corruption. After that I have been in a really funky mood. I think I just have a lot on my plate and really need to get some office work done this week. Everything is still going great I am just really disorganized and a little worried about my research . I know that is will all turn out but time seems to be flying by and I am still moving so slow. I am hoping to make some more head way in the next few weeks. I am slowly feeling better but still really stressed. I think everything will be a ton better after this goat seminar is all taken care of. Cross your fingers it goes well.
Also talked to Andrew today, I am so jealous that he got LASIK. I cannot wait to get it. Also really excited to see his new apartment and very jealous of everyone that is going to Keith and Kelli’s wedding. I so wish I could be there but at least I am going to make it to Ashleigh’s. Also I heard that the Polish Festival is back and Rosa Parks and it is pretty awesome. Very excited to be able to go next year. And at present am dreaming of kielbasa, kapusta, and rye bread with lots of horseradish.
August 31, 2011
So I did not blog yesterday because I was to tired and not in the mood, I think this is a first for me although lately I have been having a hard time blogging. I feel like I am just stating facts at the moment and am not actually thinking. I think this is a result of me being so busy but I do not like it, I feel like my brain has turned off at the moment. But anyways yesterday was good. I helped plan a seminar about HIV/AIDS which I am really excited about. And then today me and Jesca went into town to try and get an idea of how much food we need to buy and when we are going to get the chickens. It all went really well. I think the chickens are going to be coming the 2nd week of October if everything goes as planned. Randi and 2 people from her village are coming tomorrow for the goat seminar so it should be good. I am a little worried about if the Bwana Shamba is going to come and teach though because Thursday is a religious holiday. I really hope he comes though because everything is set. If he doesn’t come I think I will just teach the seminar which is not what I wanted to do, but it is better than not having it. It already has been moved 3 times, I do not want to have to move it again and really I do not have the time to keep moving it. I hope it goes well though because I really want to do a seminar for cows too but I cannot do this unless things go well. Wish me LUCK.
Also ate a papaya today with bananas and granola and thought to myself how awesome it is that I am eating this food here, where this food was grown. Also papaya looks gorgeous when you cut it open.
Oh and you are going to like this one. I found out I have bed bugs. I am severly grossed out
about this but not enough to not sleep in my bed tonight. Me and Jesca bought medicine and are going to take care of it tomorrow but really how gross is that. I keep such a clean house to, I do not understand where they came from although thinking about it maybe it is from me vaccinating all of those chickens. I think I am going to have to do some research. But I just want to make this clear: I SHOWER EVERY DAY HERE, and am probably cleaner here than at home.
August 31, 2011
So Randi got here today and I actually think we might pull off the seminar. So far everything has gone as it was planned and the person who is suppose to teach said that he will here tomorrow even thought tomorrow is a holiday. It is the Muslim holiday Ida which is a 2 day celebration. Funny thing about is you do not know when it is going to be until the night before, it has something to do with the moon. I still do not get it all the way.
September 1, 2011
The first day of the seminar went surprisingly well although there were still a few bumps in the road. It also seems that tomorrow Jesca is going to explain where the money is going. Apparently they think that I am stealing it although I am not sure what I would do with the money seeing is the seminar cost more than what they paid. That is one thing that I am really happy about in the US people trust each other I think a lot more. Although because I have been here I am not as trusting and seem to think sometimes that I am getting cheating when really most people are trustworthy but it just takes that one person to make you doubt everyone. Very unfortunate.
Also yesterday old Jesca was telling us about the Germans living here and how before they left they hide all of their belongings underground in bunkers. So now people are looking for them but they think they are haunted by ghosts. It is crazy but then she was saying that you can buy this oil that makes you invisible to the ghost so that you can sneak by them and get the German artifacts. Can you believe this stuff. I had her explain it all to Randi just to make sure that I do understand it. Also realized my Swahili is terrible. Randi is awesome at it. It bothered me a little at first, but now I do not mind it. I understand my community and I am still able to do my work I just sound like an idiot when I am talking. Also weird that nobody in my village corrects me until there are other white people are so I of course look even more stupid. Oh well at least I am use to it.
September 2, 2011
We finished the goat seminar today and I really thought that I was going to feel less stressed but this is not the case. I am not sure what is going on, I think I just have too much on my plate and I am thinking about my research and wanting it to go well but not really sure if it is. Although Blair and Tom are being a ton of help, I think it is just me needing to fret about something.
Randi and Paul were a lot of help with the seminar and were really good for support. I think it went really well and they were all really excited to get the certificates that I had made which I find a little crazy because really it is just a piece of paper but they were ecstatic about them. We all took a group picture which I am going to send out to everyone that helped me fund this seminar.
After Paul, Randi, and me climbed my mountain. I cannot tell you how much I think I like hiking and then find that after I start hiking I really do not like it that much at all. Crazy how that works. I am not sure if I would really want to hike Mount Kili or not at this point. I have a thought that I might not be able to make it because then I think about when I climbed the Grand Tetons and that was really hard and I was in shape at that time. We shall see what happens. Also I really, REALLY want to go skiing. This next year could not go fast enough. I cannot wait to ski again but I am also a little scared at how rusty I will be.
I have decided 2 things that I am going to be really happy about when I get back to the US. The fact that I can go swimming whenever I want to and that I can eat cold food. Cold papaya at the moment sounds like the most amazing food in the world that an actually sauerkraut ( I think I am dreaming of Polish food because my dad was talking about the Polish festival).
September 3, 2011
Congrats to Kelli and Keith on their wedding day. I hope it went great. I came into town today with Randi. We walked in. I am so tired, really need to get some energy back. We just laid around the house today and Claire made Dalh. it was amazing I think that when I get back to the states I am going to have a wide range of food to cook. Also made cinnamon rolls today but they were not as big as your head like in the UP.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Twix and Beer is a good combination!
July 1, 2011
First I have to say that I really, really wish that I was at the cottage right now. Fourth of July is my favorite holiday of the entire year. I love the theme weeks and sitting by the campfire eating popcorn and roasting smoky links. Really what could be better. So I hope You are all having fun. I am excited though because I am going to go to Paul’s House Sunday with Jake. I think we might play some quiddler and throw the Frisbee. Should be pretty fun, better than being by myself.
So I went to old Jessica’s today for the building of the headstone of her father. But I was super late and everyone had left already. I really wish that I would have been there earlier, but it was actually really nice to be there later because then I did not have to worry about all these people talking to me and me not understanding them. I got to just hang out with her kids and her and I understood most of the conversation although Jessica did ask if I understood at one point and I went out on a limb and said I thought 2 of them were married. Wrong thing to say. It felt kind like when you ask if someone was pregnant, it is something better left unsaid. It is just hard because they always ask the question “Umefaham nani” and I need to stop translating it literally,.
I talked to Paul today and we talked about our projects. I have a love hate relationship with people when it comes to their projects for many reasons. First I love hearing about what everyone is doing, but then I get really nervous and scared that maybe I am not doing enough or am not dong any of it right. I just always have to remember that everyone is different and you cannot compare yourself. This is not an even playing field. Good news though is that it is super easy to get solar power at our school. The jist of it is that they install it and then the school has to pay for it. A little skewed but to our advantage.
Also I have already thought about and I think I might stay here for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I think that it would be really fun to hang out with the Jessica’s and their families. They are both such awesome people and help me out so much. They are the best thing that could have ever happened to me in the village. I feel like I am always surrounded by awesome people whether I am at home or in the village. Not sure what I did to deserve this but I like it.
Going to attempt pizza tomorrow. Should be fun and hopefully amazing.
Also not sure if anyone has see the episode of how I met your mother where Robin says But Yum and they make a drinking game out of it. I cannot stop saying but yum lately it is horrible. I cringe now after I say , like it is a bad thing. And it makes me wonder if have I been saying this all along or is this a new development.
July 2, 2011
The cockroaches are getting a LOT bigger. The ones in my bathroom are huge. A little scared to go at night now.. Not sure how they could hurt me but I am pretty sure that they could.
Had another full day today. I went to Jessica’s and learned to make cooked bananas with tomatoes and onion. It was really good and really easy. I think it is something that I could make in the states although it does not look that appetizing to eat I have to say. The bananas taste just like potatoes because they are so unripe. We then went to a neighbors for a party. It was really funny all of the women sit together and are dancing and then a few men were there. Jessica said that they all had already left to go to the bar.
I then came home to cook cookies for old Jessica and was cooking but could not figure out why nothing was working. Turns out I used corn flour instead of white flour. Big mistake. I still brought them to Jessica’s and they liked them but I thought they were horrible. Then I stayed and talked to them. It was really hard at first. I did not know what to say but it got a lot easier as the night progressed. I had a ton of fun. But it is hard because they are not used to my way of speaking and they know less English than their mom so it was very difficult.
Cooked Banana
• A ton of super unripe bananas. Ones that you cannot peel without a knife. Hard as rocks 15-20
• Tomotoes4-6
• Onions 1
• salt
• Oil
1. Peel banana and put in a pot. Fill halfway to top of bananas with water. Boil until soft like a potato
2. In a separate pan sauté onions. Then add the tomatoes and salt and cook until liquid. Then add cook bananas and coat in tomatoes. Cook 5 minutes
July 4, 2011
Happy 4th of July. So wish I was at the cottage right now. I went to Paul’s house yesterday afternoon until today. Me, Jake, and him had our own little party. It was nice we made sweet and sour pork and drank some beers. It was better than nothing. Although I had a hard time keeping up with the conversation. Paul and Jake are really intense. Always talking about TZ culture and politics it is just a lot to take sometimes but it was nice. Although at one point it really made me miss home and everyone. God I just wish I could teleport sometimes and come to the cottage. How sweet would that be. Also Congrats to BETSY. I hear you are getting married. Really I just needed to come to TZ and everyone and their mom get married I think I am up to about 8 people. That is so many. I still expect a few more too.
My friend Jake has hopes of marrying a TZ girl here. I am a little skeptical because I just do not see how it could work. She is from a small village and only speaks Swahili and he is American and let’s be honest his Swahili is not that good. But it he really wants to make it work. I think it would be interesting. I mean marriage is hard enough add into it language and 2 different cultures I think he is going to have his work cut out for him.
I have a full week of work which is really good but kind of stinks because Randi has the week off and Claire just got back and is staying at the beach. If ya did not remember I LOVE The beach. But it is good I have to go into town tomorrow and buy medicine to vaccinate all the chickens I think within the next 2 weeks I have about 500 chickens to vaccinate. It is going to be a long 2 weeks.
Paul made pancakes with oatmeal and bananas today. I think I am going to try them they sound awesome. I am also going to try granola, we will have to see how that turns out. Also I feel like all I have been doing the last few days is eating. I really think I have gained like 10 pounds. Every time I go to Jessica’s I eat, She tells me I need to eat there because otherwise I have to eat by myself at home which she doesn’t like. Which is fine but I need to stop eating so much. I need some self control which I do not have when it comes to food. I LOVE food.
My neighbor Jelly who is like 8 braided all of my hair today. She was very happy about it. It looked like an 8 year old did it. I put a hat on after she left. But she was really proud.
July 5, 2011
It was another eventful day. Paul came over and we met with the principal of the secondary school. We are trying to get solar power to the school so it is taking a little bit. But it is coming along, we could possibly have it by October or not at all. Who knows. We also asked about our teaching schedule because school starts next week. Surprise surprise we will not know until next week or the week after that. It is amazing how their school system works. It drives me crazy.
I super cleaned my house and now only have a tone of laundry to do. Housework is moving along, but really slowly. Also got a call from PC today about my grant. They said they thought it would be processed at the end of the week. Keep your fingers crossed. This grant is driving me crazy. I vaccinated more chickens today and saw some of my group members bandas. They look AMAZING. I am so proud of them.
Going to try out the GPS tomorrow. Should be fun.
July 6, 2011
I woke up super early this morning to vaccinate for my neighbor. I called her name a ton but she did not answer. I did not know what to do. Should I wake her or not so I did not and went back home to bed. I never know what to do in those instances. Do I wake them or let them sleep. I have a little of my Dad in me I think. We vaccinated about 100 chickens today and I get to wake up again tomorrow early. Yay. I love waking up in the states early, but here I think it might be one of my least favorite things. I think it has something to do with the fact that I cannot take naps here so my day is just that much longer. Not sure. Also going with old Jesca and Raheli to the subvillage (suburbs) for a visit. Should be pretty fun.
We had a meeting today and got to try the new soap and made some more soap. It was really nice, even nicer because as a group they decided on their own without me bringing it up that they are now going to contribute 1000 shs (75 cents) every month to the group to use as they see fit. I am so happy I cannot even describe this. I think the fact that they are attempting things on their own and thinking this could possibly be sign that this could last after I am gone or at least they women will benefit more while I am here. I really hope it works, I know it is still early but as of yet, these women can do no wrong in my eyes.
I made potato cheese soup today. Did not like it at all. All it really did was remind me that my mom makes the best cheese soup (well her or Arnies) and that I do not know how to make it yet. Really need to ask her how to make this although I do not see it working here. I have all these potatoes now and am not sure what to try and make. I was thinking of attempting potatoes pancakes but I am not sure yet. Again they are not going to be as good as my Dad’s or 5th street, so is their really a reason to make them at all.
Also passed a dog at night that I really thought was going to attack, luckily Talita jumped at it. This got me to thinking that I am pretty sure I would be like a deer caught in the head lights when it comes to a something attacking me. Not good, why can I not remember to just jump at it and yell. I am not very confident that I could fend off a dog. Good thing I rarely walk alone at night.
July 7, 2011
And the vaccinations continue. I have to go into town tomorrow for the day and get more medicine which is cool, but also a lot of work. I really need some exercise so I am going to bike in, in the morning charge my phone because it is dead and bike back in the afternoon.
I am now deathly afraid of dogs. I am not sure what happened but literally in the span of 24 hours all the dogs in the village went to hating me. I really think that I am going to get attacked. Luckily Talita is with me and will stop them. I do not know what happened but now all I see when I see a dog is it getting ready to attack. Probably doesn’t help that I am sure dogs can smell fear. New goal is to make it 2 years without getting attacked by a dog.
Woke up super early this morning and had 2 cups of espresso coffee which definitely helped me wake up, but also made me super antsy. I went with Raheli and old Jesca to one of the sub villages today. It was super fun but a really, really long day. It was an hour walk their and back with a side trip in between. We talked about all the volunteers on the way their and their love interests as well as me not having a husband yet. They did not seemed to worried that I am still husbandless. I think they are in the minority in the village. Most people think that I should be married and popping out kids at the moment. That sounds super scary. Definitely not ready for that yet.
Also super weird how you notice something and then it starts popping out every where or talking about something. Happened today when I asked about what a person was eating yesterday. It turns out that they dip ugali in yogurt. SO think stiff stiff corn bread in yogurt that has gone bad. I though t it sounded disgusting and then we went to the subvillage and that is what they had for lunch. I took one sip and thought I was going to die. I really thought I was going to be so so sick. But again my body has surprised me and I am totally fine. I had flashes of me having to ride a motorcycle to town to go to the hospital because I was so sick that I could not even walk. I think I have a very over active imagination.
July 8, 2011
I biked into town today to get more chicken medicine and Randi talked me into staying the night. I was actually halfway into town before I decided. I have no willpower I have decided. We had cheese so we made quesadillas which were awesome with a vegetable salad . It was amazing and then we had yogurt and popcorn for dinner. Food is good this week. Tomorrow we are having pizza and chocolate cake. Food is so amazing.
I also talked to PC and they were processing my Chicken Grant today so hopefully this means that I will have the money in my account within the next few weeks. This is so exciting and awesome after tons of frustrations and everything. Now I just have to get all the women to finish their bandas. Which I think they will be able to do soon because they just finished harvesting so they should have time. The bandas so far are amazing. Words cannot describe. I will take pictures of them and try to be better about putting pictures up. Although in all actuality I do not take to many pictures I think I need to start being more like Aunt Suzette or Aunt Tricia in that aspect of my life.
Also cleaned Claire’s house today because she is coming home tomorrow and found out that the ants had somehow gotten into my taco shells and bacon that I was saving for when she came home. Very Very disappointed I was looking so forward to a BLT and enchiladas. I guess I just was not suppose to eat bacon.
July 9, 2011
OMG. Randi made chocolate cake and pizza for a us today. I think it is in the top 5 best pizza’s of all time behind Gino’s and Fracano’s. it was so good it begs me to ask the question will I buy frozen pizza ever again or just make it from scratch. Although in reality I love frozen pizza and boxed pizza and you need time to make pizza from scratch. So the answer is probably not, but it was that amazing. And then the cake had passion fruit icing on it. Passion fruit is my favorite fruit at the moment. Really, really good dinner. And then to top it off Claire got home today, so now our Mpwapwa Posse is back. Really happy about this. It makes life so much more fun and interesting. It felt like Christmas when she opened her bag to show us all the stuff she got and told us about her vacation.
Also I talked to my friend Tanya today about Chickens. She called me to ask me some questions because she was chicken sitting (yes they do this here). She said that in 2 days she had already freaked out that she had lost one of the chickens because it had not come home at night, but they miraculously showed up the next day. And then today she found one of the chicks had fallen into the toilet and as she tried to fish it out, she flushed it down the toilet. Later the same day another one died of natural causes we think. Not really sure, how do ya know. I told her not to worry because chicks have a very high death rate but I also told her maybe she should put the third and final chick in a bucket and keep guard over it just so that one survives the night. I also told her I thought she might be off the hook for chicken sitting from now on. This all makes me a little weary for my chickens. I know statistically that there are going to be deaths within the first few weeks, but I just hope I get to give all the chickens away before they die. That way there can be the possibility that I did not kill them.
Also finished the tv show Parenthood. I really liked it.
July 10, 2011
Another great day. Of course how I can it not be when I get to hang out with Claire and Randi. Randi cooked again today. She made cornmeal pancakes which were AMAZING even better with maple syrup, bananas, and peanuts. Not sure if I said this also but we put peanuts on the pizza yesterday and it was amazing. Don’t knock it before ya try it. It was so so good. Not as good as Grant introducing us to banana peppers on pizza. Another great topping. We also had sushi because I brought seaweed back and Randi’s mom sent smoked salmon.
We walked up TIGO hill today which is really just a hill that has a radio tower on top of it but it was really really fun and some much needed exercise. It is super steep at certain points and these are the times when I was trying to explain to them about Harry Potter and Star Wars. Let’s just say they were not to impressed with me at this point in time.
Also Tanya lost her third chicken today. Yup not thinking she is going to every have to watch chickens again.
July 11, 2011
I screwed around with my GPS today. It is amazing how fast you forgot things. I used to be pretty good with a GPS and now I cannot remember a thing. I seem to have a very bad memory. Me and Claire were talking about this. I seem to have a very short term memory. I told her that I just didn’t see the need to remember bad things and then she reminded me that I do not remember hardly anything. Which is true. She usually has to tell me that we have already had this conversation before. Think I need to start doing some crossword puzzles or Sudoku and work on getting a better memory. I do not really have a problem with it but I am sure it drives others nuts. At ,least I remember the important stuff.
Also got scared to death today because I thought I heard a mouse. It was a pretty good back up into a fall with my plate of food going everywhere. Not really sure why I am so jumpy and everything when it comes to insects and mice considering that I do live in Africa but I defiantly have a problem with them here. Pretty close to my fear of snakes in the US. Although I do not have any protective rain boots here to make me feel invincible.
I watched a documentary from Fred called American Teen. It was not too bad, it follows a group of kids from Warsaw, Indiana. Allow I noticed when I saw this that he gave me a bunch of Nitro Circus which I am super excited about watching.
Talked to Andrew today. It is crazy how he can call me when he is going to bed and I am waking up. It boggles the mind. It was nice to talk to him, he is starting to look for a new apartment which is good but I really like his one now. But of course I do not live there so really it doesn’t matter. He is also going to see Bon Iver which I think is going to be a really good show. I never heard of him until I went home and Andrew and Stephi were listening to them. I love that we all listen to different types of music because it gives us all a pretty wide range of stuff to listen too. Even Eddie B is good every now and then. Also the more I think about it and talk to Andrew, the more I can see myself living in Chicago. I love visiting and the fact that you can walk everywhere and take the train. And there are tons of things to do and see and Andrew is there. Could be really fun just not exactly sure what I would do for a job yet.
Band To look up: The Beautiful South
July 13, 2011
First off the wind was horrible today. I felt like I was riding into a brick wall today. And this was with me walking half of the trip. It probably also did not help that my bag weighed like 50 pounds. Not sure how that happened. At least it was a good work out.
Today my women’s group made banana jam. It was super easy and it was awesome. I also made some bread to try it with. Things are going so good with this group I just could not be any prouder. We are making 2 types of wine next week which could either be a good or bad thing. But I think it is going to be good.
I vaccinated more chickens today and along the way we ran into a mamma and grandma fighting hardcore. It was the first fight that I have actual ever seen. I have to say I was actually a little scared because they were going all out. We were just walking by. Talita thinks that it had to do with drinking because we were by the open market. I am going to ask Jessica tomorrow.
So Jessica told me that the counterpart of the last volunteer here just ended up in jail. Weird how that works. Even weirder because he was 1 of 3 people that she vouched for in the village. Luckily I have the Jessica’s and I really do not see them every getting into trouble but again ya never know.
So I am freaking out a little bit. I was in a great mood and then I got a call from PC asking about my vacation days. I still think I am going to get to go home but it really scared me that they might say no. Although Claire did point out that they just wanted to confirm all my days. I do not know I just freak out sometimes. And of course I hate being said no to. But it was really weird I went from an AWESOME mood to completely falling apart. Claire said it wasn’t too bad at least not yet because I did not have a trembling lip. Good to know you can gauge my freak outs by my facial expressions. Still no word yet though. Really hope I get to go home, although I do not see any big reason why this should be a problem, at least in my eyes.
I was asking talita about how to say things in Kiswahili and it is was funny because I realize that I use so so many more words than I need to. Instead of just saying I need to talk to her I say tell her that I came and that I want to talk with her. Not sure why I have to make it so difficult and leave myself room for more error. Although my women’s group today told me that
language was awesome. It made me feel really good even if it still sucks tons.
July 14, 2011
Where to begin with today. Today I woke up and am trying to finish Friday Night Light but I have been too busy to do this. I went to old Jessica’s this morning and hung out with her daughters. They are really nice. Agnus really likes me, although honestly I am not sure if it is because I am white or she genuinely wants to talk to me. Unlike her sister Mama Caesar who is awesome. Just have not figures Agnus out all the way yet but either way it was really fun. I always have such a hard time leaving there both because I want to stay and I really do not know how to leave. Again today I tried to leave so I could get some work done but I ended up staying longer and ate tons. They always get me with the food and the fact that I live alone so it is much easier just to eat over there. Also saw old Jessica’s banda it is so nice. She wants me to keep my chickens there too. Also another lady who is building a banda, Nelly, is building an awesome one. I could not be more proud it is amazing.
While I was there, the goats came home. And they said that they had been eating sorghum so now they could not drink water because if they did their stomachs would explode. I have to wonder about this one. It could totally be true but it sounds more like an old wives tale to me.
Still no word from PC yet. Luckily I have been so busy I have not even worried about it. Which is really good.
Also it is so so dusty here. I can even smell the dust. Not going to enjoy these next few months as much, I think I am just going to feel super dirty. I feel like water is going to dictate my life. Should I exercise, should I go here or there. It is all going to depend on how much water it takes or uses. Wish I did not have to live like this but what ya going to do. Started running again today and it was hard. I felt so sluggish. I really hope I can stick with it because I really need the energy boast I have just been feeling BLAH lately and am always super tired. So I think the exercise will be good for me.
Today a lady asked me about make soap and learning about chickens. I told her she needed to form a group first. Not sure what I am going to do about this, I think once the women all get there chickens, tons of people are going to start to ask me for help. I do not know what to do. I know I cannot help everyone and I do not want to teach them the stuff that I already taught so not sure what is going to happen here. Although I really think that nothing will come of this because the second I ask other people to do things most of the time it does not get done and just sits there. I put the ball in their court and they do nothing with it most of the time although there are some exceptions as with my women’s group.
July 15, 2011
Did my first pre-test today. It went alright. I have a lot of stuff to tweak in the future if I am correct. I also thought that people would able to tell me the amount of sticks they used per day. I am not sure why I thought this as I do not think I would keep count either but I have to work on this and switch some questions around. It is really nerve racking starting this. I am not sure why. I just feel a little uneasy about the whole thing like I am really going to make a mess of it. Not sure how but I just want to do my best.
I went the secondary school today and am now teaching freshmen chemistry once a week. I am scared shitless. In the meeting I went back and forth from saying I would teach to not. It was really bad. I am not sure why but it really scares me to teach. But I am going to give it a try, if I do not like it, I will just stop doing it although I hate quitting things so this will be interesting. Hopefully I will love it although I am not sure how I could. You have 50-80 students staring at you for 40 minutes. Doesn’t that just sound like so much fun. then add in the fact that I speak horrible Swahili. Oh this is going to be interesting.
So at the moment I have lots to freak out about. I am sure Claire, Randi, and Tanya are going to want to kill me within the next few weeks. I think I am going to be constantly worrying about teaching chemistry, my research, and finding out if my travel has gotten approved. It should be a fun next few weeks. But I am really excited to start the research I just really do not want to screw it up. Although who am I a kidding very rarely do things go smoothly for me, so I will probably have some bumps in the road in the next few weeks. I just really hope that they are just small bumps. But if ya do not start ya will never know so at least I am starting.
July 18, 2011
Went into town yesterday and went for a hike with the gang. It was awesome we went for a 4 hour hike and then walked into town and went to the bar for some beers and food. We then went to Claire’s and ate cheesecake and watched How I Met Your Mother. This might have been one of the best days of my life although I am not sure my thoughts on hiking yet. I really thought that I enjoyed it but lately I have been hiking and just realizing how much work it is. I am really lazy these days but the hike was well worth the view.
If yesterday was the best day today was one of the worst. It started off with me looking at plane tickets again to make sure they are still about the same price. I do not want to buy my ticket until I get the ok which should be soon considering I pester them every week and it has been a month. So I thought my ticket had gone up 500 dollars and I was super pissed. I sent an email to Andrew and then I thought I am just going to check that again. Yup I typed in the destinations wrong. I felt like the biggest idiot, I got so worked up about it only to realize that it was my own mistake although I really think it has been long enough. It is weird how much you can go from hating to loving PC. I read something this morning that made me really happy and glad I was here and then got super frustrated with them all in the matter of minutes.
SO today I vaccinated more chickens and while I was doing this, I ended up running from a drunk guy (not sure why, Talita started running so I did too) and then I feel in a huge ditch and now my whole body is in pain. I am so clumsy sometimes. I think I did scare Talita though with my fall after that she shoed me every rock in stone at sight so I could miss it.
Also I had my first tick on me today. I did not know they even lived here. The little kids noticed it on my foot without them that littler critter would still be living on me.
July 19, 2011
Today was another busy day. I was awoken by my egg kids which was ok because I needed eggs and I knew Andrew was going to call, so I talked to Andrew for a bit until my phone decided it had been long enough. I really hate how bad my network is, it just makes me want to scream. I then attempted doughnuts but they turned out bad everyone else thought they were good but I thought they were horrible and I was a little scared that they might make my stomach upset because they were fried in oil so I gave them to almost everyone I saw today. Weird that I have no problem eating fried foods when I am not the one cooking but as soon as I try and cook I cannot eat it. Not really sure how this works but it need to stop.
Then I went to school with Paul and we taught or should I say he taught and I listened to English Form 1 and environment education form 2. It was uneventful although I stood for 4 hours and tried to listen really hard so inevitable I needed a nap after all of this which I took and it was wonderful. I then washed some clothes and did some more work.
I really want to be a good chemistry teacher so I am trying to make a good lesson plan for tomorrow I am trying to think of some experiments that I can do with the stuff I have in my house. A non procrastinator would have figured this stuff out in town so that they could buy the stuff that they needed. But of course that would be too easy. So this is what I am thinking: I am going to light acetone (nail polish remover on fire on the board), show them how lime corrodes metal, and let them smell some bleach. Not sure if this is cheesy or genius yet we will find out tomorrow. Also going to be interesting because I am teaching in English to kids that can hardly understand it. I think they might be on the same level as me only reversed. If Chemistry was not hard enough without a language barrier. Hope I can do a good job.
Also I got the ok today to go home. It turns out that I just need to have a minor freak attack and get mad at PC before everything turns out alright. I do not understand why things always get so crazy for me before they get better, but it seems that I need to have an almost melt down before I get answer on almost everything I do here. From trying to start projects to cooking even. This is not a good way to live. So I shall be coming home for Ashleigh’s wedding which I am really excited about, I will get to see my cousin Kendra’s twins, and hopefully my cousin Heather’s baby if things work out how they are suppose to. It should be a good trip and of course go to Robinette’s for some apple cider and the Monarch for a beer. I really miss being able to sit at a bar and enjoy myself, the atmosphere is just not the same here. Me and Randi seem to just attract crazy people. Not too enjoyable when you have a man staring at you while you are trying to enjoy yourself. This same man may or may not have his hand down his pants at the same time depending if you talk to Claire or Randi. Either way, way to awkward.
July 20, 2011
OMG, it has been so busy today. It started off this morning again with the egg girls. Which is good because I need eggs but I would so much rather be woken up by birds singing instead of a knock on the door. But it was good, it got me up. Jesca has been adamant about washing my blanket so today we washed my blankets, I kept telling her that I could do it but of course she did not believe. She was right there is no way that I could wash this blanket by myself, just helping made me tired.
I had my first chemistry class today. I actually think it went pretty well. I did not throw up before class which is good although I have to be honest I am not sure how much of it they understood. Chemistry is hard enough without trying to learn it in another language. The problem with chemistry is there are a lot of words that do not translate to Swahili and at the same time how do you teach a kid about different chemicals and lab procedures without a lab or any hands on learning. It is INSANE. I brought in some chemicals today as examples and showed them a few experiments. My favorite one was putting acetone on the chalkboard and lighting it on fire. I still remember this one from Mrs. Piers sophomore year chemistry class. It is so cool although it did not work as good today because of the light. Oh well I tried at least.
I am also getting really sick of vaccinating chickens. I know that it is a good thing but it just takes up so much of my nights. I like to relax at night but I have been out the last month and half really. It is really screwing up my exercise and chill schedule.
I made probably the worst food ever today. First I made pilau and did not cook the rice long enough and added some greens which actually made the whole mess worse. It was very sad. I then attempted no bake cookies but I wanted to ¼ the recipe and miss calculated so they taste like dark chocolate which would be good except I hate dark chocolate.
Might be going into town tomorrow now, I talked to Tanya today and she has me freaking out about getting to Iringa on Sunday. I guess Iringa bus tickets are hard to get, so we need to buy them early. SO I think I might be going tomorrow which is ok but I seriously have felt like I am in a whirl wind the last few weeks, which is really good, I just have not had a second to breath but I really cannot complain to much I guess.
I also shut my neighbors haNd in the door today. I felt super bad about this and wanted to help her, but I was at a loss for words. She ran away crying but luckily I saw her later and she was not mad at me. Jackie is like 4. Reminded me of the time my dad shut my hand in the door and then got mad at me for putting it there. Gotta love it.
Still watching the West Wing per Alex’s recommendation and it is AWESOME. I am addicted now. It makes me want to be in politics or at the very least understand politics and what it going on in our country. Sadly that is a little hard from here although Jake keeps trying to talk to me about them. He has yet to realize that I do not know or care about them.
I almost forgot the biggest news of the day, old Jesca daughter is getting married which is awesome because I think I will get to go to the wedding. I feel like part of there family. They are just the best people that anyone could ask for. But anyways, they still pay a bride price here. Is that not the craziest thing you have ever heard.
First I have to say that I really, really wish that I was at the cottage right now. Fourth of July is my favorite holiday of the entire year. I love the theme weeks and sitting by the campfire eating popcorn and roasting smoky links. Really what could be better. So I hope You are all having fun. I am excited though because I am going to go to Paul’s House Sunday with Jake. I think we might play some quiddler and throw the Frisbee. Should be pretty fun, better than being by myself.
So I went to old Jessica’s today for the building of the headstone of her father. But I was super late and everyone had left already. I really wish that I would have been there earlier, but it was actually really nice to be there later because then I did not have to worry about all these people talking to me and me not understanding them. I got to just hang out with her kids and her and I understood most of the conversation although Jessica did ask if I understood at one point and I went out on a limb and said I thought 2 of them were married. Wrong thing to say. It felt kind like when you ask if someone was pregnant, it is something better left unsaid. It is just hard because they always ask the question “Umefaham nani” and I need to stop translating it literally,.
I talked to Paul today and we talked about our projects. I have a love hate relationship with people when it comes to their projects for many reasons. First I love hearing about what everyone is doing, but then I get really nervous and scared that maybe I am not doing enough or am not dong any of it right. I just always have to remember that everyone is different and you cannot compare yourself. This is not an even playing field. Good news though is that it is super easy to get solar power at our school. The jist of it is that they install it and then the school has to pay for it. A little skewed but to our advantage.
Also I have already thought about and I think I might stay here for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I think that it would be really fun to hang out with the Jessica’s and their families. They are both such awesome people and help me out so much. They are the best thing that could have ever happened to me in the village. I feel like I am always surrounded by awesome people whether I am at home or in the village. Not sure what I did to deserve this but I like it.
Going to attempt pizza tomorrow. Should be fun and hopefully amazing.
Also not sure if anyone has see the episode of how I met your mother where Robin says But Yum and they make a drinking game out of it. I cannot stop saying but yum lately it is horrible. I cringe now after I say , like it is a bad thing. And it makes me wonder if have I been saying this all along or is this a new development.
July 2, 2011
The cockroaches are getting a LOT bigger. The ones in my bathroom are huge. A little scared to go at night now.. Not sure how they could hurt me but I am pretty sure that they could.
Had another full day today. I went to Jessica’s and learned to make cooked bananas with tomatoes and onion. It was really good and really easy. I think it is something that I could make in the states although it does not look that appetizing to eat I have to say. The bananas taste just like potatoes because they are so unripe. We then went to a neighbors for a party. It was really funny all of the women sit together and are dancing and then a few men were there. Jessica said that they all had already left to go to the bar.
I then came home to cook cookies for old Jessica and was cooking but could not figure out why nothing was working. Turns out I used corn flour instead of white flour. Big mistake. I still brought them to Jessica’s and they liked them but I thought they were horrible. Then I stayed and talked to them. It was really hard at first. I did not know what to say but it got a lot easier as the night progressed. I had a ton of fun. But it is hard because they are not used to my way of speaking and they know less English than their mom so it was very difficult.
Cooked Banana
• A ton of super unripe bananas. Ones that you cannot peel without a knife. Hard as rocks 15-20
• Tomotoes4-6
• Onions 1
• salt
• Oil
1. Peel banana and put in a pot. Fill halfway to top of bananas with water. Boil until soft like a potato
2. In a separate pan sauté onions. Then add the tomatoes and salt and cook until liquid. Then add cook bananas and coat in tomatoes. Cook 5 minutes
July 4, 2011
Happy 4th of July. So wish I was at the cottage right now. I went to Paul’s house yesterday afternoon until today. Me, Jake, and him had our own little party. It was nice we made sweet and sour pork and drank some beers. It was better than nothing. Although I had a hard time keeping up with the conversation. Paul and Jake are really intense. Always talking about TZ culture and politics it is just a lot to take sometimes but it was nice. Although at one point it really made me miss home and everyone. God I just wish I could teleport sometimes and come to the cottage. How sweet would that be. Also Congrats to BETSY. I hear you are getting married. Really I just needed to come to TZ and everyone and their mom get married I think I am up to about 8 people. That is so many. I still expect a few more too.
My friend Jake has hopes of marrying a TZ girl here. I am a little skeptical because I just do not see how it could work. She is from a small village and only speaks Swahili and he is American and let’s be honest his Swahili is not that good. But it he really wants to make it work. I think it would be interesting. I mean marriage is hard enough add into it language and 2 different cultures I think he is going to have his work cut out for him.
I have a full week of work which is really good but kind of stinks because Randi has the week off and Claire just got back and is staying at the beach. If ya did not remember I LOVE The beach. But it is good I have to go into town tomorrow and buy medicine to vaccinate all the chickens I think within the next 2 weeks I have about 500 chickens to vaccinate. It is going to be a long 2 weeks.
Paul made pancakes with oatmeal and bananas today. I think I am going to try them they sound awesome. I am also going to try granola, we will have to see how that turns out. Also I feel like all I have been doing the last few days is eating. I really think I have gained like 10 pounds. Every time I go to Jessica’s I eat, She tells me I need to eat there because otherwise I have to eat by myself at home which she doesn’t like. Which is fine but I need to stop eating so much. I need some self control which I do not have when it comes to food. I LOVE food.
My neighbor Jelly who is like 8 braided all of my hair today. She was very happy about it. It looked like an 8 year old did it. I put a hat on after she left. But she was really proud.
July 5, 2011
It was another eventful day. Paul came over and we met with the principal of the secondary school. We are trying to get solar power to the school so it is taking a little bit. But it is coming along, we could possibly have it by October or not at all. Who knows. We also asked about our teaching schedule because school starts next week. Surprise surprise we will not know until next week or the week after that. It is amazing how their school system works. It drives me crazy.
I super cleaned my house and now only have a tone of laundry to do. Housework is moving along, but really slowly. Also got a call from PC today about my grant. They said they thought it would be processed at the end of the week. Keep your fingers crossed. This grant is driving me crazy. I vaccinated more chickens today and saw some of my group members bandas. They look AMAZING. I am so proud of them.
Going to try out the GPS tomorrow. Should be fun.
July 6, 2011
I woke up super early this morning to vaccinate for my neighbor. I called her name a ton but she did not answer. I did not know what to do. Should I wake her or not so I did not and went back home to bed. I never know what to do in those instances. Do I wake them or let them sleep. I have a little of my Dad in me I think. We vaccinated about 100 chickens today and I get to wake up again tomorrow early. Yay. I love waking up in the states early, but here I think it might be one of my least favorite things. I think it has something to do with the fact that I cannot take naps here so my day is just that much longer. Not sure. Also going with old Jesca and Raheli to the subvillage (suburbs) for a visit. Should be pretty fun.
We had a meeting today and got to try the new soap and made some more soap. It was really nice, even nicer because as a group they decided on their own without me bringing it up that they are now going to contribute 1000 shs (75 cents) every month to the group to use as they see fit. I am so happy I cannot even describe this. I think the fact that they are attempting things on their own and thinking this could possibly be sign that this could last after I am gone or at least they women will benefit more while I am here. I really hope it works, I know it is still early but as of yet, these women can do no wrong in my eyes.
I made potato cheese soup today. Did not like it at all. All it really did was remind me that my mom makes the best cheese soup (well her or Arnies) and that I do not know how to make it yet. Really need to ask her how to make this although I do not see it working here. I have all these potatoes now and am not sure what to try and make. I was thinking of attempting potatoes pancakes but I am not sure yet. Again they are not going to be as good as my Dad’s or 5th street, so is their really a reason to make them at all.
Also passed a dog at night that I really thought was going to attack, luckily Talita jumped at it. This got me to thinking that I am pretty sure I would be like a deer caught in the head lights when it comes to a something attacking me. Not good, why can I not remember to just jump at it and yell. I am not very confident that I could fend off a dog. Good thing I rarely walk alone at night.
July 7, 2011
And the vaccinations continue. I have to go into town tomorrow for the day and get more medicine which is cool, but also a lot of work. I really need some exercise so I am going to bike in, in the morning charge my phone because it is dead and bike back in the afternoon.
I am now deathly afraid of dogs. I am not sure what happened but literally in the span of 24 hours all the dogs in the village went to hating me. I really think that I am going to get attacked. Luckily Talita is with me and will stop them. I do not know what happened but now all I see when I see a dog is it getting ready to attack. Probably doesn’t help that I am sure dogs can smell fear. New goal is to make it 2 years without getting attacked by a dog.
Woke up super early this morning and had 2 cups of espresso coffee which definitely helped me wake up, but also made me super antsy. I went with Raheli and old Jesca to one of the sub villages today. It was super fun but a really, really long day. It was an hour walk their and back with a side trip in between. We talked about all the volunteers on the way their and their love interests as well as me not having a husband yet. They did not seemed to worried that I am still husbandless. I think they are in the minority in the village. Most people think that I should be married and popping out kids at the moment. That sounds super scary. Definitely not ready for that yet.
Also super weird how you notice something and then it starts popping out every where or talking about something. Happened today when I asked about what a person was eating yesterday. It turns out that they dip ugali in yogurt. SO think stiff stiff corn bread in yogurt that has gone bad. I though t it sounded disgusting and then we went to the subvillage and that is what they had for lunch. I took one sip and thought I was going to die. I really thought I was going to be so so sick. But again my body has surprised me and I am totally fine. I had flashes of me having to ride a motorcycle to town to go to the hospital because I was so sick that I could not even walk. I think I have a very over active imagination.
July 8, 2011
I biked into town today to get more chicken medicine and Randi talked me into staying the night. I was actually halfway into town before I decided. I have no willpower I have decided. We had cheese so we made quesadillas which were awesome with a vegetable salad . It was amazing and then we had yogurt and popcorn for dinner. Food is good this week. Tomorrow we are having pizza and chocolate cake. Food is so amazing.
I also talked to PC and they were processing my Chicken Grant today so hopefully this means that I will have the money in my account within the next few weeks. This is so exciting and awesome after tons of frustrations and everything. Now I just have to get all the women to finish their bandas. Which I think they will be able to do soon because they just finished harvesting so they should have time. The bandas so far are amazing. Words cannot describe. I will take pictures of them and try to be better about putting pictures up. Although in all actuality I do not take to many pictures I think I need to start being more like Aunt Suzette or Aunt Tricia in that aspect of my life.
Also cleaned Claire’s house today because she is coming home tomorrow and found out that the ants had somehow gotten into my taco shells and bacon that I was saving for when she came home. Very Very disappointed I was looking so forward to a BLT and enchiladas. I guess I just was not suppose to eat bacon.
July 9, 2011
OMG. Randi made chocolate cake and pizza for a us today. I think it is in the top 5 best pizza’s of all time behind Gino’s and Fracano’s. it was so good it begs me to ask the question will I buy frozen pizza ever again or just make it from scratch. Although in reality I love frozen pizza and boxed pizza and you need time to make pizza from scratch. So the answer is probably not, but it was that amazing. And then the cake had passion fruit icing on it. Passion fruit is my favorite fruit at the moment. Really, really good dinner. And then to top it off Claire got home today, so now our Mpwapwa Posse is back. Really happy about this. It makes life so much more fun and interesting. It felt like Christmas when she opened her bag to show us all the stuff she got and told us about her vacation.
Also I talked to my friend Tanya today about Chickens. She called me to ask me some questions because she was chicken sitting (yes they do this here). She said that in 2 days she had already freaked out that she had lost one of the chickens because it had not come home at night, but they miraculously showed up the next day. And then today she found one of the chicks had fallen into the toilet and as she tried to fish it out, she flushed it down the toilet. Later the same day another one died of natural causes we think. Not really sure, how do ya know. I told her not to worry because chicks have a very high death rate but I also told her maybe she should put the third and final chick in a bucket and keep guard over it just so that one survives the night. I also told her I thought she might be off the hook for chicken sitting from now on. This all makes me a little weary for my chickens. I know statistically that there are going to be deaths within the first few weeks, but I just hope I get to give all the chickens away before they die. That way there can be the possibility that I did not kill them.
Also finished the tv show Parenthood. I really liked it.
July 10, 2011
Another great day. Of course how I can it not be when I get to hang out with Claire and Randi. Randi cooked again today. She made cornmeal pancakes which were AMAZING even better with maple syrup, bananas, and peanuts. Not sure if I said this also but we put peanuts on the pizza yesterday and it was amazing. Don’t knock it before ya try it. It was so so good. Not as good as Grant introducing us to banana peppers on pizza. Another great topping. We also had sushi because I brought seaweed back and Randi’s mom sent smoked salmon.
We walked up TIGO hill today which is really just a hill that has a radio tower on top of it but it was really really fun and some much needed exercise. It is super steep at certain points and these are the times when I was trying to explain to them about Harry Potter and Star Wars. Let’s just say they were not to impressed with me at this point in time.
Also Tanya lost her third chicken today. Yup not thinking she is going to every have to watch chickens again.
July 11, 2011
I screwed around with my GPS today. It is amazing how fast you forgot things. I used to be pretty good with a GPS and now I cannot remember a thing. I seem to have a very bad memory. Me and Claire were talking about this. I seem to have a very short term memory. I told her that I just didn’t see the need to remember bad things and then she reminded me that I do not remember hardly anything. Which is true. She usually has to tell me that we have already had this conversation before. Think I need to start doing some crossword puzzles or Sudoku and work on getting a better memory. I do not really have a problem with it but I am sure it drives others nuts. At ,least I remember the important stuff.
Also got scared to death today because I thought I heard a mouse. It was a pretty good back up into a fall with my plate of food going everywhere. Not really sure why I am so jumpy and everything when it comes to insects and mice considering that I do live in Africa but I defiantly have a problem with them here. Pretty close to my fear of snakes in the US. Although I do not have any protective rain boots here to make me feel invincible.
I watched a documentary from Fred called American Teen. It was not too bad, it follows a group of kids from Warsaw, Indiana. Allow I noticed when I saw this that he gave me a bunch of Nitro Circus which I am super excited about watching.
Talked to Andrew today. It is crazy how he can call me when he is going to bed and I am waking up. It boggles the mind. It was nice to talk to him, he is starting to look for a new apartment which is good but I really like his one now. But of course I do not live there so really it doesn’t matter. He is also going to see Bon Iver which I think is going to be a really good show. I never heard of him until I went home and Andrew and Stephi were listening to them. I love that we all listen to different types of music because it gives us all a pretty wide range of stuff to listen too. Even Eddie B is good every now and then. Also the more I think about it and talk to Andrew, the more I can see myself living in Chicago. I love visiting and the fact that you can walk everywhere and take the train. And there are tons of things to do and see and Andrew is there. Could be really fun just not exactly sure what I would do for a job yet.
Band To look up: The Beautiful South
July 13, 2011
First off the wind was horrible today. I felt like I was riding into a brick wall today. And this was with me walking half of the trip. It probably also did not help that my bag weighed like 50 pounds. Not sure how that happened. At least it was a good work out.
Today my women’s group made banana jam. It was super easy and it was awesome. I also made some bread to try it with. Things are going so good with this group I just could not be any prouder. We are making 2 types of wine next week which could either be a good or bad thing. But I think it is going to be good.
I vaccinated more chickens today and along the way we ran into a mamma and grandma fighting hardcore. It was the first fight that I have actual ever seen. I have to say I was actually a little scared because they were going all out. We were just walking by. Talita thinks that it had to do with drinking because we were by the open market. I am going to ask Jessica tomorrow.
So Jessica told me that the counterpart of the last volunteer here just ended up in jail. Weird how that works. Even weirder because he was 1 of 3 people that she vouched for in the village. Luckily I have the Jessica’s and I really do not see them every getting into trouble but again ya never know.
So I am freaking out a little bit. I was in a great mood and then I got a call from PC asking about my vacation days. I still think I am going to get to go home but it really scared me that they might say no. Although Claire did point out that they just wanted to confirm all my days. I do not know I just freak out sometimes. And of course I hate being said no to. But it was really weird I went from an AWESOME mood to completely falling apart. Claire said it wasn’t too bad at least not yet because I did not have a trembling lip. Good to know you can gauge my freak outs by my facial expressions. Still no word yet though. Really hope I get to go home, although I do not see any big reason why this should be a problem, at least in my eyes.
I was asking talita about how to say things in Kiswahili and it is was funny because I realize that I use so so many more words than I need to. Instead of just saying I need to talk to her I say tell her that I came and that I want to talk with her. Not sure why I have to make it so difficult and leave myself room for more error. Although my women’s group today told me that
language was awesome. It made me feel really good even if it still sucks tons.
July 14, 2011
Where to begin with today. Today I woke up and am trying to finish Friday Night Light but I have been too busy to do this. I went to old Jessica’s this morning and hung out with her daughters. They are really nice. Agnus really likes me, although honestly I am not sure if it is because I am white or she genuinely wants to talk to me. Unlike her sister Mama Caesar who is awesome. Just have not figures Agnus out all the way yet but either way it was really fun. I always have such a hard time leaving there both because I want to stay and I really do not know how to leave. Again today I tried to leave so I could get some work done but I ended up staying longer and ate tons. They always get me with the food and the fact that I live alone so it is much easier just to eat over there. Also saw old Jessica’s banda it is so nice. She wants me to keep my chickens there too. Also another lady who is building a banda, Nelly, is building an awesome one. I could not be more proud it is amazing.
While I was there, the goats came home. And they said that they had been eating sorghum so now they could not drink water because if they did their stomachs would explode. I have to wonder about this one. It could totally be true but it sounds more like an old wives tale to me.
Still no word from PC yet. Luckily I have been so busy I have not even worried about it. Which is really good.
Also it is so so dusty here. I can even smell the dust. Not going to enjoy these next few months as much, I think I am just going to feel super dirty. I feel like water is going to dictate my life. Should I exercise, should I go here or there. It is all going to depend on how much water it takes or uses. Wish I did not have to live like this but what ya going to do. Started running again today and it was hard. I felt so sluggish. I really hope I can stick with it because I really need the energy boast I have just been feeling BLAH lately and am always super tired. So I think the exercise will be good for me.
Today a lady asked me about make soap and learning about chickens. I told her she needed to form a group first. Not sure what I am going to do about this, I think once the women all get there chickens, tons of people are going to start to ask me for help. I do not know what to do. I know I cannot help everyone and I do not want to teach them the stuff that I already taught so not sure what is going to happen here. Although I really think that nothing will come of this because the second I ask other people to do things most of the time it does not get done and just sits there. I put the ball in their court and they do nothing with it most of the time although there are some exceptions as with my women’s group.
July 15, 2011
Did my first pre-test today. It went alright. I have a lot of stuff to tweak in the future if I am correct. I also thought that people would able to tell me the amount of sticks they used per day. I am not sure why I thought this as I do not think I would keep count either but I have to work on this and switch some questions around. It is really nerve racking starting this. I am not sure why. I just feel a little uneasy about the whole thing like I am really going to make a mess of it. Not sure how but I just want to do my best.
I went the secondary school today and am now teaching freshmen chemistry once a week. I am scared shitless. In the meeting I went back and forth from saying I would teach to not. It was really bad. I am not sure why but it really scares me to teach. But I am going to give it a try, if I do not like it, I will just stop doing it although I hate quitting things so this will be interesting. Hopefully I will love it although I am not sure how I could. You have 50-80 students staring at you for 40 minutes. Doesn’t that just sound like so much fun. then add in the fact that I speak horrible Swahili. Oh this is going to be interesting.
So at the moment I have lots to freak out about. I am sure Claire, Randi, and Tanya are going to want to kill me within the next few weeks. I think I am going to be constantly worrying about teaching chemistry, my research, and finding out if my travel has gotten approved. It should be a fun next few weeks. But I am really excited to start the research I just really do not want to screw it up. Although who am I a kidding very rarely do things go smoothly for me, so I will probably have some bumps in the road in the next few weeks. I just really hope that they are just small bumps. But if ya do not start ya will never know so at least I am starting.
July 18, 2011
Went into town yesterday and went for a hike with the gang. It was awesome we went for a 4 hour hike and then walked into town and went to the bar for some beers and food. We then went to Claire’s and ate cheesecake and watched How I Met Your Mother. This might have been one of the best days of my life although I am not sure my thoughts on hiking yet. I really thought that I enjoyed it but lately I have been hiking and just realizing how much work it is. I am really lazy these days but the hike was well worth the view.
If yesterday was the best day today was one of the worst. It started off with me looking at plane tickets again to make sure they are still about the same price. I do not want to buy my ticket until I get the ok which should be soon considering I pester them every week and it has been a month. So I thought my ticket had gone up 500 dollars and I was super pissed. I sent an email to Andrew and then I thought I am just going to check that again. Yup I typed in the destinations wrong. I felt like the biggest idiot, I got so worked up about it only to realize that it was my own mistake although I really think it has been long enough. It is weird how much you can go from hating to loving PC. I read something this morning that made me really happy and glad I was here and then got super frustrated with them all in the matter of minutes.
SO today I vaccinated more chickens and while I was doing this, I ended up running from a drunk guy (not sure why, Talita started running so I did too) and then I feel in a huge ditch and now my whole body is in pain. I am so clumsy sometimes. I think I did scare Talita though with my fall after that she shoed me every rock in stone at sight so I could miss it.
Also I had my first tick on me today. I did not know they even lived here. The little kids noticed it on my foot without them that littler critter would still be living on me.
July 19, 2011
Today was another busy day. I was awoken by my egg kids which was ok because I needed eggs and I knew Andrew was going to call, so I talked to Andrew for a bit until my phone decided it had been long enough. I really hate how bad my network is, it just makes me want to scream. I then attempted doughnuts but they turned out bad everyone else thought they were good but I thought they were horrible and I was a little scared that they might make my stomach upset because they were fried in oil so I gave them to almost everyone I saw today. Weird that I have no problem eating fried foods when I am not the one cooking but as soon as I try and cook I cannot eat it. Not really sure how this works but it need to stop.
Then I went to school with Paul and we taught or should I say he taught and I listened to English Form 1 and environment education form 2. It was uneventful although I stood for 4 hours and tried to listen really hard so inevitable I needed a nap after all of this which I took and it was wonderful. I then washed some clothes and did some more work.
I really want to be a good chemistry teacher so I am trying to make a good lesson plan for tomorrow I am trying to think of some experiments that I can do with the stuff I have in my house. A non procrastinator would have figured this stuff out in town so that they could buy the stuff that they needed. But of course that would be too easy. So this is what I am thinking: I am going to light acetone (nail polish remover on fire on the board), show them how lime corrodes metal, and let them smell some bleach. Not sure if this is cheesy or genius yet we will find out tomorrow. Also going to be interesting because I am teaching in English to kids that can hardly understand it. I think they might be on the same level as me only reversed. If Chemistry was not hard enough without a language barrier. Hope I can do a good job.
Also I got the ok today to go home. It turns out that I just need to have a minor freak attack and get mad at PC before everything turns out alright. I do not understand why things always get so crazy for me before they get better, but it seems that I need to have an almost melt down before I get answer on almost everything I do here. From trying to start projects to cooking even. This is not a good way to live. So I shall be coming home for Ashleigh’s wedding which I am really excited about, I will get to see my cousin Kendra’s twins, and hopefully my cousin Heather’s baby if things work out how they are suppose to. It should be a good trip and of course go to Robinette’s for some apple cider and the Monarch for a beer. I really miss being able to sit at a bar and enjoy myself, the atmosphere is just not the same here. Me and Randi seem to just attract crazy people. Not too enjoyable when you have a man staring at you while you are trying to enjoy yourself. This same man may or may not have his hand down his pants at the same time depending if you talk to Claire or Randi. Either way, way to awkward.
July 20, 2011
OMG, it has been so busy today. It started off this morning again with the egg girls. Which is good because I need eggs but I would so much rather be woken up by birds singing instead of a knock on the door. But it was good, it got me up. Jesca has been adamant about washing my blanket so today we washed my blankets, I kept telling her that I could do it but of course she did not believe. She was right there is no way that I could wash this blanket by myself, just helping made me tired.
I had my first chemistry class today. I actually think it went pretty well. I did not throw up before class which is good although I have to be honest I am not sure how much of it they understood. Chemistry is hard enough without trying to learn it in another language. The problem with chemistry is there are a lot of words that do not translate to Swahili and at the same time how do you teach a kid about different chemicals and lab procedures without a lab or any hands on learning. It is INSANE. I brought in some chemicals today as examples and showed them a few experiments. My favorite one was putting acetone on the chalkboard and lighting it on fire. I still remember this one from Mrs. Piers sophomore year chemistry class. It is so cool although it did not work as good today because of the light. Oh well I tried at least.
I am also getting really sick of vaccinating chickens. I know that it is a good thing but it just takes up so much of my nights. I like to relax at night but I have been out the last month and half really. It is really screwing up my exercise and chill schedule.
I made probably the worst food ever today. First I made pilau and did not cook the rice long enough and added some greens which actually made the whole mess worse. It was very sad. I then attempted no bake cookies but I wanted to ¼ the recipe and miss calculated so they taste like dark chocolate which would be good except I hate dark chocolate.
Might be going into town tomorrow now, I talked to Tanya today and she has me freaking out about getting to Iringa on Sunday. I guess Iringa bus tickets are hard to get, so we need to buy them early. SO I think I might be going tomorrow which is ok but I seriously have felt like I am in a whirl wind the last few weeks, which is really good, I just have not had a second to breath but I really cannot complain to much I guess.
I also shut my neighbors haNd in the door today. I felt super bad about this and wanted to help her, but I was at a loss for words. She ran away crying but luckily I saw her later and she was not mad at me. Jackie is like 4. Reminded me of the time my dad shut my hand in the door and then got mad at me for putting it there. Gotta love it.
Still watching the West Wing per Alex’s recommendation and it is AWESOME. I am addicted now. It makes me want to be in politics or at the very least understand politics and what it going on in our country. Sadly that is a little hard from here although Jake keeps trying to talk to me about them. He has yet to realize that I do not know or care about them.
I almost forgot the biggest news of the day, old Jesca daughter is getting married which is awesome because I think I will get to go to the wedding. I feel like part of there family. They are just the best people that anyone could ask for. But anyways, they still pay a bride price here. Is that not the craziest thing you have ever heard.
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