March 10, 2012
Not sure how or why this happens as it does but after being gone or awhile I always stay in my house for the first 24 hours. Not sure why, but I think I mush be mentally preparing myself for village life again seeing as it is so different from how I live when outside of it. So that is what I did today. Crazy to, to think that many had no idea I was inside my house. I guess they are not as CIA as I thought because everyone was like when did you get back. Not sure what this means but this evening I stepped out back into the village and joined village life. It went remarkable well, I took a deep breath as I left my house and started to walk around the village and it was fine and fun. Felt like I had not been gone at all which is nice. Funny as I went for my run I noticed a lot of people and machinery on the road. Turns out that they are putting telephone poles in, I am in shock. They all said that power was coming but was just like yeah right but it actually is coming. Although does this mean in a 1 year or10 I still do not know but it was pretty cool watching them get the poles off of the truck. Looks like a lot of work.
I went for a 2 mile run today that turned into more of a 1.5 miles. I have no idea how I ran 13 miles, I swear 1 mile almost killed me. I am not sure what my new goal for working out is but I am going to continue to run and try and keep my mileage up. I would like to do a sprint triathlon when I get home so this will help me stay in shape hopefully.
I talked to my professor about leaving early and that was a no go as it turns my program upside down which stinks but I am still ok with. I am now asking PC if they will let me leave early at all, I would really like to be home in time for the weddings and the bike trip but I guess we will see what happens. If not it is not the end of the world. I mean I do not have that much time left here and I am actually enjoying myself. I am guessing that has a lot to do with the fact that I know that I am going to be able to leave soon. Which funny enough brings on new thoughts and fears. So I am going to go home which is what I want but what if when I get home I do not want to be home. What if I want to come back or find out hat I cannot stay at home, then what. What if I just want to leave again. Then there is also the thought of what am I going to do, I will need to get a job but what am I going to get a job in. I have no idea, my interests are all over the place. SO much to think about.
I watched the Kony 2012 video which I am sure you all saw and I found myself wondering what I am going here. Here I am in Africa where all this aid work and everything is going on and what am I doing to help. I mean I have lived among some of the poorest of the poor for 2 years and what have I done with my time here. How have I really helped them.
Going to get back on the research track this week, I had a good email talk with my professors and am feeling even better about everything but it still is hard because I am here and they are there and the thought that I am not on track, but I think I am so that is really good. I am hoping to start mre walks with people within the next few days, I just need to go out and talk to people to see when they are going but first I need to try and organize myself, I just cannot seem to get organized with all of my stuff here and it is driving me crazy.
Also how many nutella and peanut butter sandwiches can you eat before you get judged. I am pretty sure I exceeded that number today as I just could not help myself I think this is the first time that I have had all of the ingredients at one time in my house and god were they good sandwiches.
March 11, 2012
First I need to say that I am still not sure why but there was a man screaming at the top of his lungs last night “I am sorry” over and over until about midnight. I have inquired to why and so far all I got was that his dad died or was poisoned, but that man that died, died 2 weeks ago so I am thinking it was something different. I am going to ask more tomorrow. It also started to pour last night which was awesome so now I have a full water tank.
Today I woke up and one of my neighbors invited me to another village to drink “pombe”
beer and see how they make bamboo beer. So I went only to find out that this was a whole day thing and that if an effort to try and use the rest of my sunscreens up, I picked the one that doesn’t work at all. So I look like a lobster today. But it was really cool. We went and saw how they make it, which is really not them making it at all. Apparently bamboo naturally produces alcohol after 7 days so they use a system kind of like tapping maple trees to extract the liquid. It was pretty cool. We then went into town and hung out with the villagers, I seemed to actually know more than I thought, and I sampled so bamboo pombe. I have to say that if I drank all the liters that were handed to me I am not sure if I would have made it home. I swear every 2 seconds someone handed me a new drink, although I am not sure exactly how potent it actually is, it doesn’t seem that bad but I am not sure. Weird too that they buy a liter at a time and just keep passing it around the table until it is gone and then they go get another one. But it was really fun. We also ate pork which was good but I had to really pick through the meat to find the good pieces and swallow the pieces that I didn’t really want. I cannot wait for clean meat that doesn’t have pieces of hair still attached to it. Weird though that I have gotten used to eating it in sense at home I would have just pushed it away and gagged here. I am like “theres meat, where?”.
I was asked again today if I was married and how many children I had. I told them none of the above and then they asked if I was scared of being to old to have kids and get married. They just do not seem to get it, They then thought maybe I should just pick one of the men here and then I could just teach him English and we could get married. I told them that I would pass on that too.
March 12, 2012
I am not sure how it happpened but I slept in until 10 am today. It was crazy. I was the most tired I have been in forever and felt like I had run a marathon the night before which is really funny because the day after the actual race, I felt completely fine. Not really sure but it was nice to sleep in and not be disturbed although I never really have a good sleep for fear that I will be disturbed I think. I mean no one thinks twice about knocking on my door no matter what hour it is.
I ran today for 25 minutes and felt really out a shape. Scary how fast that can happen. I am working aon a way to keep me exercising, Maybe I will train for another marathon or something, I just need some type of goal and all to keep me on track here because it is so easy to get lazy here.
I washed clothes all day today and I think I have one more day ahead of me and then I will be back on track which is good because then I can start going on walks for my research again and get back in track with everything.
Also I ate an insane amount of candy today, I have no self control when it comes to food, especially when it comes all the way from home.
March 15, 2012
I have become obsessed with 2 things in the last week: The tv show Friday Night Lights and putting peanut butter and nutella on anything and everything that I can think of. Tonight for instance I made pancake tacos with peanut butter and nutella inside. This has not been a good week in the fact that I have rarely left my house or eaten anything other than stated above and candy. Not good I know. On top of that all I have been doing is making up excuses as to why I cannot start such and such. Luckily Jessica brought me back to reality with the fact that people are cutting firewood right now even though it has been raining a lot. So I have promised myself that I will start in the next few days as well as start running again. I still have been exercising but not to the caliber that I think I should be considering what I have been feasting on the last few weeks. So hopefully the next few days I can get back in the groove probably just in time to leave again.
Also I talked to my bosses and I am set to be done with PC July 18, which stinks that I cannot make the bike trip or possibly both weddings but it is still really nice to have answer and a definite date of being done with PC. I thought I would be a little more upset about it but I really have no problem with it, it is kind of a relief so that now I will have time to leasurely finish my research and hopefully right a rough draft, finish all of my projects, and see a few more places in TZ that I still have not visited.
March 17, 2012
I think that I am almost back on the band wagon. I went into town today and got a lot of stuff done and then came back into the village and started to tell everyone that I want to go cut firewood with all of them. Of course they all think that I am crazy but that is ok, they will go with me.
The corn is just starting to be ready to eat, it is not like the corn at home but it is really good and it is good to have a different vegetable than tomatoes to eat. I still am not to good eating habits but that will happen so enough when all my junk food runs out.
Almost forgot. Happy St. pats day. I did not even have a drink today in honor of it which stinks but I did by cornbeef but have not cooked it yet. It is canned but I think I might try and make a stew or something tomorrow with it.
March 18, 2012
I accidentally started my bed on fire last night and did not realize it at first. That is what I get though for using candles really close to my bed. I am still waiting for the day when I light my mosquito net on fire. I really hope that day never comes because then I lose my protection from the all bugs and lizards.
I made stuffed Indian potatoes chapatti today. I was not as good as I hoped but of course I ate it because I had spent so much time on it and I was hungry. I did for get to take a picture though which stinks I like to document my food. They king of looked like pastys and made me really excited for the UP.
I ran 3 miles today and it almost killed me. I have no idea how I ran a ½ marathon,
I am going to collect firewood tomorrow which I am really excited about. I really want to start getting the ball rolling again on my research so that I know where I have wholes and need to dig more.
March 22, 2012
I know that I have not been writing everyday, I just cannot seem to do that at the moment which is weird because I used to love writing every night, maybe I am just getting sick of it or am to busy I do not know. So I went and cut firewood, so my research is moving slowly but it is moving which is good. It was a long day, after I cut wood, I went to a funeral where I sweat there were over 1000 people there, They just kept coming. While they were burying the casket, I sat under a tree with a bunch of women and they asked me a ton of questions. They think that I use some magic medicine so that I do not get pregnant so on the way back I was ranting to Talita about why do not they just use condoms and so on and so forth. I think I was talking a little loudly because the group of men in front of me turned around and then I thought maybe I should continue this talk later. They also thought I must use some special medicine for my hair and that is why it looks like that. I did not know what to say to this either. Although I guess if I lived in a country where everyone looked similar that I might not realize that there are people of all shapes and sizes out there but maybe I am wrong. Although I feel they are able to see enough tv and written word to see the rest of the world but maybe not.
I also am working on a malaria grant at the moment and trying to get it done soon which is killing me. I have as usual put myself in a weird position where I am doing most of the work and somehow stilling finding more work that I can without realizing the amount of work I already have.
I am going to Morogoro this weekend which will be fun. Me and Paul are teaching about grants and I am going to pick my classes for this fall at Tech. I think I am going to tack ea remote sensing class which I am kind of excited about.
As for leaving here, I am still hoping that I get to leave July 18th but I am not sure if I understood when I talked to my boss so now I have to talk to her again because she of course is the head of everyone leaving but at the same time someone else is in charge that had no idea what I was talking about, if that is the case and I do not get to leave when I want I think I am looking at more towards the beginning of August which I would stink but hopefully everything works itself out. It has to every once in a while for me.
March 23, 2012
I biked into town and did some work today and was back by lunch. It was so great. It is also really weird that I do not like being there when no one else is. I guess this also kind of keeps me up on my work and getting things done otherwise I have the habit of just hanging around and talking.
I think I am going to write one more grant and then I am done. One more final project that I have been wanting to do and then I do not know. Maybe I will even get around to finishing my research, that probably would be the best. I swear I am trying but the rain just keeps coming and then I seem to be on all these trips all of a sudden not sure how this happened but I am actually really really busy at the moment.
March 28, 2012
It has been an eventful week. Me and Paul went to Morogoro on Saturday to train the new volunteers on grants and help them with Project management. Paul did a really good job teaching it and I just kind of hung out and helped when I could. It was really great to see the new class again yet weird at the same time because you are kind of an outsider and it is a little akward at first but by the last day it was really nice. I also got to see some other friends from my class which was really great because I never get to see them. So all in all it was amazing. I got to hang out with good friends, drink so cold beer, and eat pizza and burgers. Could life get any better, there was even running water and a toilet. Life was pretty much complete.
I got a call telling me that I get to COS on the 19th for sure, which is one day past what I thought it really is not bad at all I mean what is one day but I am not going to lie for like 30 minutes I was heart broken not sure exactly why but I think I just had it in my head already and I have a hard time changing things that I think were set in stone but it actually works out better because all I am COSing with Paul and Tanya so I am really excited. Not sure about a plane ticket and everything yet. I might possibly travel for a little bit but at the same time Heather’s wedding is that weekend and I would really like to be home for it so I am not sure what it going to happen.
While I was waiting for the bus today I talked to a guy about love after a man asked if he could marry me. He had two things to say: Love has no eyes and will you let someone choose for you. Oh yeah and he is going to pray on if we should be together and then he is going to call me. I told him “God Wants”. He was a nice guy though and gave me a good price on my bus ticket. I got it for 10,000/= and the guy next to me who is tanzo got it for 15,000/=. Sometime I guess it pays to have those conversations.
The bus ride was brutal today. Not sure why but I got back and pretty sure I gained another shell with the amount of dust that was on me, not to mention the amount of dust that I inhaled. I got home and have been lounging.
Some women came over today and not I have set up walks with 2 groups to go get firewood with them. The only thing that stinks is that they are really early in the morning. But this is a good start to my research again and a way to just get right back into it. I also sent in a grant yesterday for malaria. I just cannot seem to sit still which is good but at the same time why do I do this to myself. I do not know, I blame it on my dad.
Talked to the whole family this week and they are all doing well. I am so happy after I talk to them and at the same time sad. Han says it feels like I am coming home tomorrow. I wish that were the case but it is coming up. Also funny that my dad just wants to make sure that I am home by Scott and Lisa’s wedding. So you know how excited he is about that. He asks Han the same question too.
I was also thinking on the bus today about me being here and what my thoughts are now and what I would tell people about this. I am not totally sure yet but I think my thoughts are somewhat changing in some regards. It is really weird, I will try and explain more when I have it more figured out but I think this also has something to do with that I know that I am coming home soon. Weird to think too that I might actually miss this place. Scary too. I think I might think a little to much but then again what else do I have to do here.
March 29, 2012
Woke up at the crack of dawn today to go farm and cut firewood. Little did I know this was going to take 7 hours and I was going to walk over 7 miles. If I would of known that I would have put my sunscreen on better so at the moment I am super tired and sunburnt. But it was really fun and has helped me dive back into my research which I really like. It is nice, not sure why. Also really excited to return to school.
I think the next few months are going to be crazy busy, I am already feeling like I have no time. I am also really excited not that I get to COS with everyone and am not that sad that I am going to miss the bike ride. Weird because last month I was really sad about that, Time changes things I guess.
I was walking with a grandma today and she told me how she really liked me and I was a lot happy and like to laugh more than the other volunteer. Most of this I think is untrue. You always get compared to the previous volunteers. I am sure the next one will hear how great my Swahili is, which is great but it is almost no existent. I mean today I told a lady that Jessica couldn’t hear out of her eyes. And yes I meant ears. I think that just drives the point home as to how bad my Swahili is but I can commicate with my villagers and then understand me so it is not that big of a problem only when I leave does it matter. I also couldn’t come up with the word for world today and that unleashed another can of worms. Oh well.
I saw a monkey while we were cutting firewood today. IT was awesome. I was so happy while the people I were with did not like it because they eat all the crops. I am just happy I can say I saw a monkey at my house. Sounds so much better than saying I live in farmland which I do but now I can say there were monkeys and I forgot to mention hyena’s (I have never seen but I hear them at night and do not really want to see them).
Also harvesting has just begun so I am going to be eating a lot of corn ( breakfast, lunch, and dinner) as well as not ripe peanuts which are surprisingly good. As well as lots and lots of watermelon. I want to make watermelon jam but not sure cause it sounds kind of gross but I just might this week. I tried the baobob wine and the banana wine today, they were so so sweet I am not sure if I can drink any of it, but I am sure I can find away. This reminds me that the grandma and me talked about beer and how she shouldn’t be spending all her money on it, on the way home. It was a great talk. It made me laugh a lot. I swear everything for her relates back to alcohol.
April 9, 2012
Happy Birthday Al and Stephi! I know it has been along time since I have written but I swear I am moving at hyperactive speed which is really good but at the same time I have no time on my hands. Crazy how I can go from being so bored to so busy I hardly have time to breath.
I have been doing firewood walks with people and it has been going really well. It takes a lot of time and energy to do them but it is really fun and excited. I really like what I am doing my research on. It is funny to see where people go one day I will be walking on the road to get wood and other days I we are scaling the side of a mountain. I still do not know how they can scale and hold firewood on there head I have a hard enough time walking. They know this to because I am constantly hearing Katie slow slow.
I am also in the middle of planning a 1 week girls conference in Dodoma with a bunch of volunteers so this is keeping me busy. Somehow I raised my hand to teach one of the sections. Which is interesting because my Swahili is so bad that I am sure everyone is going to cringe but it might not be to bad. I think it will be really good for the girls and help them a lot.
I wanted to stay in the village for easter but then realized that if I stayed I was going to have to go to church I decided to go to Randi’s. I just cannot sit through church here, it is really long and you just feel like you are getting shouted at. Also I did not know how to decide whose house to go to so I thought it would just be easier to go to Randis. It was nice we made lemon cake and some vegetable Indian dish. It was a good way to spend easter considering that I am in Africa. But man I would of loved to be home for all the good food.
I made stirfry sauce this week and I swear that it taste just like it came from a Chinese restaurant. It is so good I had a hard time exercising before I ate the whole thing. This gets me excited for coming home and getting to cook so much more and having so many more ingredients.
I also know that Uncle Pat’s funeral was this weekend. I would have loved to be there to hear all the great stories about him. I am sure everyone laughed a lot. He was such a great, fun person to be around. I know that the cottage is going to be a lot different without him.
April 11, 2012
At the moment I am at the breaking point. It is crazy how things can be going so good one moment and then they can all crash on top of you. Of course I am still waiting for about 20 chickens to show up and the man is giving me the run around. On top of that I have a girls conference next week that I am not very excited about I was excited in October but now I just have to much going on and it is not a top priority at the moment. I cannot wait until it is done. Then I was stupid and decided to squeeze one more grant into my work load. Also really stupid as I have zero time and to top it all off I still have not finished my research. I know I did this to myself but at the moment I am about ready to crack. I cannot seem to get ahead there is just always so much work to do on top of just living. July 19th cannot come fast enough at the moment.
April 12, 2012
Life has gotten both better and worse. My chicken guy still has not come yet and I am not sure what to do about that but he is about to feel the wrath of Katie. He has blown me off to many times who does he think I am that I can sit around all day every day and wait for him. Sad when you trust someone and then find out they are a douche.
Also here is some bad news. Randi called Mathayo yesterday and said send a car and then the line got cut off. So of course me and Mathayo are thinking something happened to her for about an hour luckily it was not her but someone in her village was in really bad shape. A crazy man who was in a mental institution was let out and came to her village. This women was at the farm and somehow this crazy man came and beat and raped her and then threw her into a gully. It was really bad and Randi had seen it. I cannot even imagine. That is so scary. But the women is at the hospital now and Randi is ok. But OMG scary what can happen to a person.
I also went t cut firewood today and again we scaled up the side of a mountain. I am not sure how they do it because I swear I am going to fall to my death. If I do not break something in my firewood travels, I will count myself blessed. It is really hard I always have the same image of me falling and not stopping, I just cannot figure out how they do.
I also am turning into a gimp. I now have 3 different cuts on 3 toes on the same foot. Not sure how but everyone seems to notice them to. Today Jessica gave me some oil to keep the flys away which it did work but turns out the oil is chicken placenta. Not sure what my thoughts are one this yet, maybe the flies are better.
April 14, 2012
My foot is getting worse but the day, I keep doing things to same foot and now everyone notices as assumes that it is from cutting firewood. But then I have to explain how it all happened. It is echausting and who notices these things, really. I also not have cuts on my hands and fell in the exact same spot as I did last week with wood on my head so now I have a huge scrape. I am falling apart fast.
I talked to my chicken guy yesterday and I think everything is back on track or at least that is what he lead me to believe. I really want to trust the guy so I am going to believe him. Hope it works out in my favor.
I am going to Dodoma for a girls conference tomorrow for the week and am not excited about it. I have so much work here and the idea of Dodoma for a week Is not that exciting at the moment, but I know that when I get there is will be lots of fun so I just need tomorrow to come so it all works out. Also it is a ton of work that I just do not have time for.
I made another fuel efficient stove yesterday and I think that it went really well I am really excited to start making more in the village. Also saw a white guy in the village yesterday that is here working on the electricity. I walked right by his car and he either did not see more or did not care. I am hoping the first. So next time I see him, I am just going to knock on his window because how often is there another white person in the village. NEVER.
All my siblings are in AL this weekend. I am guessing they are having a blast and cannot wait until I get to come home and go to AL to with all of them and they get to see Eric Church so how can it not be a good time.
Also trying really hard like Aunt Marti ito like
Monday, April 16, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Powdered milk is SO SO GOOD!
January 29, 2012
Is it bad that I think powdered milk with cereal is the best, I think my standards have really started to lower. Oh well, it was amazing and hopefully I will be eating it all week if I do not in the next day. I need will power and I usually do not have any when it comes to food.
SO this week I spent in Dar with a few other volunteers working VAC which is something like a student government and then on a grants committee that is hopefully going to make the process smoother and less nerve racking, not sure if this will work yet. But it was really fun, I am not sure I have slept this little since college, but it was great. We worked a lot and then went out a lot so I had some really good food. I had shrimp, Indian (which I keep remembering I am not a big fan of), Mexican, pizza. And my two favorite meals of the week were beef in a port sauce with mashed potatoes and lamb kebabs. Yeah when the village tells me how fat I am this week I will defiantly be more inclined to believe them.
I stayed with an ex pat the last 2 nights with my friend Jen. It was really fun, it is always really interesting to see how an ex pat lives and what their thoughts are on the life here. Some I find have no idea of TZ life and culture and yet others are very insightful. Either way it is always fun visiting with them and getting to know them, but also see how we could live in comfort still and still work abroad which is good because I sometimes forget that there is a lot more out there than village life. I do not know maybe I will end up being an ex pat one day.
Also very weird how I can move between the worlds of Dar with all the modern connivances and Lupeta with well nothing and not even bat an eye. Today I the bus ride back to the village I realized how normal this feels to me, which is really weird. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks so I am really excited, I have research and we are making fuel efficient stoves which is great because this has been on my to do list for a while now.
I bought vanilla beans, so I think I am going to make my own vanilla, which I think is just liquor and the bean together, not sure yet I need to check this but I am really excited. I also bought Amurula which is really good, it reminds me of baileys but I am really excited to drink a bit with my coffee.
I talked to my friend Claire this week on skype and it was so much fun, I cannot wait for her to come back. Even though Zanzibar is still really far from me, I think talking on the phone will actually be a lot easier go figure.
January 31, 2012
Village Life has been good. I still have not done to much, but I have gotten out in the morning and run and I am working on going out and gettng my research done. Possibly going to start back up again tomorrow. I just need to finish giving myself the pep talk. Once I start it will be fine but it takes me a while to get there. I know it is stupid but it makes me really nervous and self conscous which is weird because all it is a few questions. I do not know.
I talked to my bibi who farms a long way away and she says that she is having trouble with monkeys stealing her crops. This made me laugh really hard, even harder after I realized what she was saying but it sounds so crazy. That is what I expected living here and instead I feel like I just got farm land. No exciting animals or anything although I am not complaining it is just funny how you imagine things and then you find out what they are really like. But I have to say I am still surprised by things on a daily basis here.
So it is the rainy season and yet we have hardly any rain, which is not good. Last year was a bad year and this year is not shaping out any differently. It has not rained for the last 3 weeks and I not sure when it will next. It stinks. It is bad enough living in this type of environment with no water bring no food into the mix and it just gets worse. I did not realize how bad it was here but it is bad especially right now when people have no money and no food because it is that time before harvest so they are left with what they did not spend from last year. It is a hard life out here.
I made tostadas today. I made homemade refried beans, guac, and flour tortillas that I fried. It was amazing and I toped it off with an egg. I wonder if I will make things like this in the states. I was also wondering about tortillas will I make these in the states or just buy them like before. I am very interest to see what my buying and eating habits are like when it comes to food. Although I will have to give myself a few weeks first to eat all those things I have been missing. Weird but I miss the craziest things. I would do anything for an apple with cheddar cheese, a turkey sandwich, or a kraki sandwich with better made chips. God food is so good. I bought so macadamia nuts in Dar and they reminded me a lot of when we went to Hawaii. They also reminded me of grandpa for some reason I remember him having chocolate covered macadamia nuts in his desk.
Reading a book called Cupcake right now and it reminds me so much of Aunt Marti. It is crazy. It has some funny parts in it that remind me of her. Which also reminds me of when we went on the bike trip and she told the guy in the bathroom that he has a nice ass in front of everyone that we were going to be biking with. I still laugh thinking about that. Just thinking of that gets me really excited for the next bike trip.
February 1, 2012
So I am not sure what is going on but in the last few days I have seen more than my fair share of mice/ rats. I swear everywhere that I turn I am running into them. It is killing me. Luckily I have yet to find one in my house but I just assume that this is where I am headed. I just hope that I do not wake up to one crawling on my head like before. I am totally fine with living with one if I never see it and it leaves me in peace but I do not think that is going to be the case. Also Jessica scared me and told me that it was probably living under my bed, I know she was joking but that is all I need. We all know how afraid of snakes I am and mice/ rats come in send. Man I hope they stay away from me. I bought poisin today to kill it if it does live with me, so now I have the added surprise of possibly walking into a room with a dead mouse not sure what I hate more.
I ran again today and felt like I ran all over the place I ran to 3 different villages before I came back and I am not going to lie it killed me. I am so tired and my legs hurt but that is what I get for going to Dar last week and eating and not doing any type of exercise.
I did more interviews today and they went really well. I feel at home in my village at the moment which is really good. I have no problem making a fool out of myself and am not as nervous to ask people questions which is good. I even at least at the moment have stopped avoiding people and am actually really excited to talk to people. Not sure exactly what has changed but I am in a good place and really excited that I will be here for the next 3 weeks before my dad and aunt joyce come.
Not sure if I mentioned this before but I planted a passion fruit vine from a seed in like October and it is starting to vine out and cover part of my courtyard. It is really cool and I am really excited for the fruit that I am going to get. I love passion fruit maybe not as much as a macintosh apple but I would say it is up there.
Also have had no network in my village this week, which kind of stinks. This means that I cannot talk to anyone unless I want to go for a walk. Really hope this changes because I really liked being able to talk in my house without the entire world looking at me while I do it.
February 2, 2012
So my little friend finally showed his face today. As I was getting some charcoal I ran into him. God I hate mice and this guy is huge. I hope he likes avocados because that is what I put the poison on. Now I am just worried where he is going to decided to die. I would love it if he showed himself out but I am not crossing my fingers.
And it was one of those days that I did not do much. I start reading a book and then time just slips away and before I know it , it is night time. Not sure how that happened I had big plans for today. Oh well I guess I will try again tomorrow.
So I have been worrying a lot about my research and today I realized that it will all work
out. I was really worried about walks into the mountains with people but then I realized I can just go camp out at the entrance a little bit to get a sample size and tell everyone and their mom that I really want to help them collect firewood. Not exactly what I had planned but I think it will work. It is crazy how once you set your mind to something it is really hard to change it sometimes and it takes more time than it should to come up with something different. I had a hard time letting go that my project is not going to go exactly as planned but I think that it is still going to be amazing and this doesn’t change that much only the people. The information is still the same. I realized this while I was talking a shower under the stars, I have to say I think I do my best thinking while talking a shower, an added bonus here is that the stars are AMAZING.
Listening to The Prayer by Bocelli. Such a good song. This reminds me of my dad and his steak dinners that he loves to have and of course the fact that he loves to eat by candle light and no other light. It is always funny because he cannot seem to figure out why we want the lights on at least a little. We do like to see what we are eating. I guess when he comes here he will get his candle light experience. Because that is all I have. I pretty much only use candles now. I really like.
Aldo ran today and I swear I have never been so tired in my life. I had a hard time walking a up the hill to my house but it was good. Again should not have taken that week off and eaten all that food. Although I have to say the food was phenomenal.
February 3, 2012
So after 3 weeks of no rainy and yes it is the rainy season, it decided to rain today. That is after it was I swear one of the hottest days ever here. I am not sure how that is possible. To top it all off during the rain, it also hailed too. Tell me how it hails here. I would never have believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. Crazy. But with that beautiful rain came lots of wind which was not good and it up rooted most of my corn. I am scared to see what it did to everyone else’s. It is bad enough that they have such a hard time growing things here, add the wind on top of that and really why are they living here. Oh yeah because the government put them here. God I would like to know what was going through their minds when they did that.
As for other things, I attempted an Indian potato dish today that I am sure has seen better days. I am not sure why I even attempted it as I do not really even like Indian food. But I am going to blame it on boredom even if that is not true. I did not really like the dish but I do like ginger and potatoes together which I would never have suspected.
I have not done any more with my research today but I did talk to old Jessica and she is going to help me with all the people that live by her. On that note I was suppose to go over there today and failed. Well actually I went over there in the morning but she was at the office and then I just never came back. I just get to comfortable at home or around my neighborhood which is crazy because the village is not that big. She might live as close as my house to dairy queen at home. I know not that far yet I just have a hard time getting there. I am going tomorrow morning though, we are making banana fritters and having coffee with baileys. I am really excited.
I went and bought alcohol today at the shop in front of my house to make homemade vanilla and the guy wanted to know if I was going to drink it. I told him I only cooked with it. I did not want him to think that I was going to drink it all by myself also it was like 8 am when I bought this so I did not want him to think I started early either. Funny. I tried to explain to him what I was making but it is really hard when they do not know what vanilla is and when you look it up in the dictionary you find the world vanilli, same for marathon. How do you explain these things when they have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe with all this explaining I do here I would make a good teacher, but I am not sure if I would be a good teacher. A classroom full of kids kind of scares me that and what if I teach them something wrong. Then the rest of there life they will have the wrong answer. Yeah think I am going to stay away from that, at least with little kids. I think I might be able to do college but
really a classroom full of people in general scares me.
Leading me to what am I going to do with my life. I have no idea. My plan ends Dec 2012, funny how it coincides with the Mayan Calendar maybe I won’t have to worry past this date anyway but really what am I going to do. I have not a clue. I will be this time hopefully have a master’s in forestry (if I do not screw up somehow) and then what. What am I going to do with that? What do I want to do in general or where should I live? If anyone could answer any of these questions for me I would really appreciate it. I mean if you just got me a job that might be even better. There are just to many possibilities out there and to many options. And of course I hate making decisions. How am I going to choose where to go next and what to do. It is all very nerve racking and exciting all at the same time. A new chapter is going to start for me but at the same time it is really really scary.
February 5, 2012
I was actually really excited to blog yesterday but Andrew called, which I was a great surprise. Funny thing is now I have no idea what I wanted to blog about. Nothing to exciting has happened here. I went over to old J yesterday and taught her how to make banana fritters and then we had coffee with amurla. It was great. Besides that not to much. I also did run 8 miles which was awesome and I could still walk afterwards which was an even bigger plus.
Today I ran again. I cannot believe how nice it feels to run and I really like it because I get to see lots of people and talk to them although they usually need something from me which is fine. At the moment everyone wants vaccinations for there chickens which is great, I just have been feeling really lazy lately and have not wanted to walk around the village at night. Luckily enough people asked me today that I am going to do it tomorrow.
Old J helped me with my research today. We went to a bunch of people’s houses and asked them questions it was really great. Although I still am not sure how to explain it, as of now I just say that I want to learn more about firewood because it is so complicated to explain school. It is hard enough for an American to comprehend. But I talked to a bunch of people today and am feeling a lot better about the whole thing good too that their were a lot of people that go and cut firewood right now too. Weird how all my neighbors do not cut it at the moment and then the people in say the next block over do go. I wonder why that is.
I had mkande today and it was amazing. It is may favorite especially with kachimbaree. Although at the moment tomatoes are so so explensive. It is crazy used to be able to get 4 for 200/= and now you are lucky to get 1 good one. Crazy. Everything is going up in price and it stinks. I have a hard time paying and I get a salary what about all these farmers. Ah it will drive ya crazy. I had pineapple today and it remnded me of the dole plantation and that amazing pineapple ice cream. It was so good. I wonder if I went back I would think it is as good as I thought. Not sure if I want to but man it was good actually the entire trip was so much fun. I want to go back to Hawaii and snorkel and eat lots of really good food.
I know it is super bowl Sunday so I guess everyone is at aunt Joyces eating lots of amazing food. I am so so jealous I cannot even think. The buffalo dip alone is enough for me to come back home. Tz food just does not have the same flavor as American.
Also weird I have not been able to focus to well lately on reading books and watching tv. Not sure why but nothing is keeping my interest. I feel like I am all over the place which stinks because what am I suppose to do if I cannot read or watch tv when I have some down time. Really hope this changes but I think I am going to try maybe some word puzzles or something to try and learn something. I feel like my brain is fried. Maybe if I started to do some crossword puzzles that would help. I mean I swear Grandpa Witte knew everything and he did a lot of those. That and play cards.
God I miss cards. Funny that when I play cards here or with anyone else that is not a Witte. I have to hold my tongue sometimes. I think we might take the game a little more serious than other people. It is funny. Like not picking up your cards until the dealer has or the winner gets to go first in the next game. It is funny I blame Aunt Marti and Cindy for this. But god I miss cards, well actually I think I just miss the cottage in general. It is funny I was thinking about it today and I really the cottage is the perfect place. I mean all you ever think of is good things if your at Little Whitefish or Brooks. I mean what could be better a lake, family, a bonfire, amazing food, and lots of games and relaxing time.
February 7, 2012
I have been really busy yesterday again with research and vaccinating chickens It has been really great and every day I am feeling better and better about my research. Crazy how that happens. I go from being really scared to having no problem at all. But it is going really good and I am starting to see some interesting things which is great and awesome because things are not necessarily going as expected. I have also seen a lot more people go and cut firewood which is good because I was really scared that I was going to have to beg people to go.
Other than that I have stayed in the village for a week without leaving which is new. Usually I go into town a once but I have not done so yet which is crazy. Town actually sounds really far lately. The last few days I was suppose to go but I keep just putting it off. I am going Thursday though because we go a new girl around here. I also have like no food so I really need to go I just am being really lazy. Also I really like my schedule here and I know if I go into town it will change or not go the same. Weird I know but I really like to know how things are going to go.
Yesterday I left my house really early and did not come back to really late (at least for me) everyone was all over themselves trying to figure out where I was. I had more than one tell me they had been to my house multiple times and my door was locked. It was pretty funny.
It is a full moon here at the moment and it is gorgeous. I love the night. It is really peaceful too.
February 9, 2012
So I went into town today because I thought we were all meeting up to hang out and get some things done. Turns out everyone had planned on going back, they just forgot to tell me which is fine it just stunk because they all went to the bar to hang out and I had to get some work done on the internet that I had been putting off for the last week. But whatever it was still really fun to see everyone and catch up for a little bit. Even better to get some food, you can only live on flour for so long. Now I am fully stocked up on fruits and oatmeal for another week.
I got a email from my professors and now I am confused a little more about my research and what I am suppose to be doing. I am going to sit on it for a day and then send them and email and then hopefully talk ot them next week. It is just so hard to communicate with people lately even more so than normal. I cannot see to get service anywhere in my village for more than 2 second.
Jessica asked if I had rested today and I was telling her that I tried but all I could think about was my research and the projects that I am doing here. She told me to not worry so much that everything will just take time, which of course she is right. As she usually is but do not tell her that. I am so lucky to have her here. She is amazing. I told her that I would buy her a goat or a pig before I left and this has her on cloud 9 at the moment, funny though because she was talking to her mom about it and her mom asked how she expected to take care of another animal. Which is true the lady does not sleep as it is, with a house to take care of, 2 small kids, a farm, and chickens and everything she does for me. She truly is wonder women.
I almost have everything ready for the when my dad comes. I just need to actually book the some stuff in the next few days which I probably should do earlier than later, hopefully I keep on top of this stuff.
Jenna and Lindsey both emailed me about dresses for their weddings which is really exciting but then they want to know what size they think I will need. I have no idea and what if they get a size that is to small, I will look like a blimp. Oh well, I know it will all work out in the end anyways.
I talked to my mom today and she is going to visit Hannah, Aunt Marti, and Aunt Beth. I think she is going to have a great time with them. I am kind of surprised that she is going to telluride where it is cold instead on a nice beach, but she is going to have so much fun. I know I have people coming here and I am really excited but I do not want to miss anything. I just want to be everywhere.
Got called fat again today. I am not sure why but I swear in the last few weeks I have been getting it a lot more. I know they do not mean it in a bad way but sometimes ok there is never a good time, that is the last thing I want to here. I am just a little surprised that it has been used so much, especially because I have been running and I am pretty sure I have not gained any weight or lost any. I think I look the same. But either way I know I have not changed that much in the last few months, so why the sudden change in talk. Really hope Randi doesn’t hear them say it or they are going to get a ear full. That is one thing she hates more than anything is when they say that .
Claire comes back in 6 days which is going to be amazing, not that I am actually going to get to see her for a bit but I am really excited that we will at least be back in the same country. And can actually talk on the phone and hear each other.
February 10, 2012
SO it has been one of those days that is moving at a really nice slow pace and then all of a sudden I am in hyperactive speed. We made fuel efficient stoves today and I was in charge on them after they left. Bad idea. It got dark I couldn’t see and now I am not sure what it looks like. I am pretty sure they are all going to have something to say about this but I did not know what else to do. I also almost made it crumble so we will have to see what it turns out like. I think it will still be completely fine, it just will not look that amazing to the eye. But does that really matter, to me no but to the women I am sure it does. Oh well. I will hear about it tomorrow anyways.
While I was trying to fix the stove, I burnt my pizza dough and made a mess of my kitchen, god I cannot wait for electricity and a refrigerator. I am trying to eat healthier and at least 3 meals a day but lately it has just been really hard. Not sure why I just have not been in the mood to cook, Luckily I remembered there is a café in front of my house so I can go there but besides that I have to keep reminding myself to eat more and better. Not good, You would think that because of my eating habits I have loss some weight that is a major NO and I got more you look so fat today. Congrats. Oh well, what ya going to do.
I hope that stove looks better in the morning than I think it does. Cross your fingers. It looked really good before I touched it so we will have to see. Otherwise not really sure what I have planned for tomorrow. I am hoping to finish my interviews but I think I will have to go back and talk to all the people some more but I would like to already have an initial talk with them anyways and make sure I remember and know everyone. It is hard to know what people’s names are because everyone calls each other brother or sister. I also read my professors email again today and have started to read some past thesis again to hopefully help me better understand what I am suppose to be doing. I know I am super over thinking this but I really do not want to get home and find out I missed a key thing or have nothing to go on but to be fair I am not sure I have anything at the moment either.
I am really enjoying the village still. It has been great I have been walking around a lot and talking to people and hanging out with them. I love it. It almost makes me not want to leave, Almost
While we were making the stove in my front yard a mouse ran into mouse. Yup I saw it scurry across my floor. So I have that to fret over tonight. I did by poison so I really hope it dies. Funny though it did come in through the front door. I hope it does reek so much havoc before I kill it.
February 11, 2012
The stove doesn’t look as bad as I originally thought which is really good. I really thought it was a goner not the case which I am very happy about. So every day I get up and I run. Today I got up and did not know how far I was going to run, 9 miles later I thought that I was going to faint in the middle of the farms and that they were not going to find me for days. Luckily that was not the case and I made it back to my house where I then slept for 2 hours.
Man that was a long run makes me wonder how long I will sleep after the ½.
The mouse is still in the house. I saw it scurry up the wall today as I moved a bunch of stuff
to my storage area in hopes that the mouse gets the hint that he is not wanted here of course along with the massive amounts of poison that are throughout the house.
I made potatoes today and put BBQ sauce on them. All this really did was make me really,
really want some sort of meat. Anything at this point it has been almost 3 weeks without meat and my body remembers it. Doesn’t help that they book I am reading is talking about food a lot. That and just watched Julie and Julia. So I really am craving BBQ at the moment. Also taco pizza which is never going to happen in a million years here, but I can dream can’t I. Is it bad that I am thinking of putting BBQ sauce on tunafish. Not sure if that is a good idea or not but I might find out in the next few days.
I did more interviews today and am going to try and call my professors this week. I think I am starting to have a grasp of what I am doing. I know I have a lot more to do but it is nice to now know where almost everyone lives and realize that I know all of these people already. That blows my mind. I was walking around today and realizing that I know most of the people in my village, which is nice considering it is so big. But I cannot tell you more than maybe 10 people’s names. I know that is really, really bad.
Have been cooking with real garlic and I have to say I swear everything tastes better. I am feeling in a cooking mood so I am interested to see what tomorrow brings food wise. I am thinking something with passion fruit as I bought a ton this week.
February 12, 2012
I cannot believe that my dad will be here in one week. That is crazy. Soo freakin awesome.
Don’t really know what else to say that can be better than what I have already stated.
February 13, 2012
So yesterday I culdn’t really write anything either because I had a few women from my women’s group come to me telling me that all the women wanted from the group was for me to give them things and that they do not care about learning anything they just want to see what they can get free from the white person. I am not sure if this is or is not true but either way it really stinks to hear. I am not sure what I am going to do with the information yet either. Young Jesca said that a bibi told her. I am not sure if it is true or not but I do not really care to much I guess. I am going to try and stay out of it as I am doing what I want to do with the group and do not feel like I am being taken advantage of. But it does still stink to hear because I really thought I could trust them all and they understood what I am here for. Not sure any more but what am I going to do about it. Life must go on and I like teaching them new things still because it also gives me something to do.
I spent this morning GPSing my village only to get home and realize that I had pushed a wrong button and all of it was nothing. SO tomorrow I will be at it again. I do not mind it to much though because I get out of the house and walk a lot. And I get to talk to lots of people.
I also have to have to go into town tomorrow and take care of some things and send my professors an email telling them my thoughts and what I am up to. I really hope I can get into town. Weird how without Claire here there doesn’t seem to be any reason to leave Lupeta other than to charge my things which I have been trying to get other people to do. Crazy how life changes like that. But I need to charge things as well and use the internet so to the town I must go.
I made the best omelet today with BBQ sauce on top. It was really good. I even took a picture. I have been doing a pretty good job of documenting my food here. I wonder if I will ever do anything with it. I have also been thinking after watching Julie and Julia that I need to find something to do, a goal. I do know that I am here and that I am going to school and those are goals, but I want a fun goal. Something that I can do a little bit of everyday to help make the days go by more and give me more of a purpose something that is fun. Any ideas? Let me know.
I also ran today and have to say that I did not do so good. My legs felt like 100 pounds bricks. Hopefully tomorrow goes better. I only have 2 weeks to go. I cannot believe it I am really excited, very nervous but excited. I think all the people, the new environment, and running with my dad will hopefully give me some added push to hopefully move a little faster. I am also trying to get Randi to run with me as she did not train this year. I told her that you probably could walk as fast as I run so hopefully she runs with me, I love running with people and talking so that would be nice. I guess my dad could to but I know he runs so much faster than me. How he does it I am not sure.
For some reason today I have been thinking a lot about Brooks Lake and all the fun that we have there. I cannot wait to come home and go to the cottages. They are my favorite places in the entire world of course along with Beaver Island. Probably because this means almost everyone is included in my favorite places as there are always so many people around. But I cannot wait to come home, have a fire, eat lots of food that is not good for me, swim, play cards, and have a cold beer.
February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine’s day. I think I will watch the movie today in honor of the day. Although I have not done anything special at all today. Kind of a bummer but I am not sure I have ever done anything that special except maybe eaten candy hearts and got a card from my mom.
Yup I live with a family of mice that seem not take care at all about my food. I cannot get them out of my house and they are killing me. I know they are tiny but at night in the dark I am scared to death of them. I am going to hopefully bring a car in this week to get rid of them because I want them to be gone before my dad gets here.
Also what does it say when you eat the same thing for breakfast and dinner a lot. I am not sure if I am eating all of this oatmeal because I really love it that much or if I am just to tired to make anything else. Also after watching Julie and Julia I have been thinking a lot about cooking and I think I would like to learn the chemistry behind food and why certain foods work and others don’t. I also have had my eye on a cast-iron skillet for the past 3 months and might actually get around to buying it soon.
Aunt Joyce wanted to know if she should bring a pillow over here. This makes me really wonder what they think they are getting themselves into. I am not sure but if she thinks that we do not have pillows I am scared of what else she thinks we lack over here. Knowing her she will come prepared though which is never a bad thing. I cannot believe she hasn’t ask about toilet paper yet. I am so excited for them to come though, it is always a blast when those 2 get together.
Random thought- I think I like my oatmeal better with a little salt in it, definitely a different taste.
Oh I almost forgot. I biked into town today and back and I realize I am not as in good of shape as I thought. I am going to have to do some training for this bike trip. So I do not die. I also out ran a storm today which was very good because I was in the middle of nowhere and would have had to stay under a tree and it was getting dark. Did not like that thought at all.
February 16, 2012
Today we attempted to make candles with the group and they turned into a complete disaster. But it was still really fun and now I know how to take wax from a beehive and make it into actual wax that can be used for candles. Lucky me I learned it with an in between process of making alcohol. Wonder if I will ever use this at home. It is funy because we tried to make them yesterday but there was a meeting about water and all the women came to my house but then the chairperson came and got them all and told them they needed to go to the meeting. It was really funny.
Today I mapped out more of my village and found that it is about 1 mile long. I thought it would be longer but the GPS doesn’t lie. One cool thing about the GPS is that you can watch your speed as you walk so I did a lot of that while I walked and talked with people. Tomorrow I am going out with a mama to cut firewood which I am really excited about but first I have to run 10 miles which I am not to excited about. Luckily the marathon is almost here. I am really excited and ready to see how I fair.
The women saw a picture of my dad today and they said that he looked really young. I think he will like that compliment. They then asked if you could have 2 wives in America because they would like to marry him. I told them that my mom probably would not like that. I also had someone tell me that I had a very nice nose today. That was a weird one. I was talking and she just came and touch it, really different.
Have not had any mice sighting in the last few days which is really good but I am sure they will pop their heads in at some point probably with Aunt Joyce and Dad get here. The house is almost ready, I cleaned a lot today, washed a ton of clothes, and sprayed for bugs so I think it will be the cleanest that it has been in a while. I am ready for them to come and meet everyone. They are all really excited to meet them. Jesca is going to kill a chicken for them which I am really excited about because I really want to learn how to do that. Not sure why but it is on my list of things to learn here.
I have been thinking about possible taking a up beekeeping when I get back home. Not sure exactly why but I think it could be a fun hobby and I think there is plently of room for it either at the cottage or at the shop. I guess I will have to see where I end up and everything , something I am not ready to think about yet. I do want to know but at the same time I have no idea what I want to do with my life so it is a little, ok really scary at the moment to think about. I have been thinking about the cottages a lot lately and ski team not sure why but I have.
February 17, 2012
Weird how when you about to leave places that is when it gets the busiest, although I can say that my last few weeks have been really busy but today was probably one of the busiest, most tiring days here. I got up this morning and ran 10 miles and then immediately came home and started with my house work and making banana bread because all my bananas got smashed this week. By the time I was done with all of this, I had a 1 to chill and then I went and walked the mountains with a friend for research and then I went to Jesca’s to get a mattress and now I am here. It was crazy. I am so tired it is unbelievable. But it was a great day and got me more excited about my research and being here again.
I am at a really good place here at the moment, probably because I know that everything is drawing to close but at the same time it is really nice to be able to just walk around and not feel like an outsider to feel like I might actually belong here. Although I am still going to go with I belong home at the cottage. But it is still a nice thought.
The mouse at part of my banana bread today. This means war if it wasn’t already. I really think I might have to get a cat these last few months. I really do not know what else to do. My house is spotless and the poison is not working. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I feel like my dad at the moment with his rodent problems, maybe its genetic.
Is it bad that I think powdered milk with cereal is the best, I think my standards have really started to lower. Oh well, it was amazing and hopefully I will be eating it all week if I do not in the next day. I need will power and I usually do not have any when it comes to food.
SO this week I spent in Dar with a few other volunteers working VAC which is something like a student government and then on a grants committee that is hopefully going to make the process smoother and less nerve racking, not sure if this will work yet. But it was really fun, I am not sure I have slept this little since college, but it was great. We worked a lot and then went out a lot so I had some really good food. I had shrimp, Indian (which I keep remembering I am not a big fan of), Mexican, pizza. And my two favorite meals of the week were beef in a port sauce with mashed potatoes and lamb kebabs. Yeah when the village tells me how fat I am this week I will defiantly be more inclined to believe them.
I stayed with an ex pat the last 2 nights with my friend Jen. It was really fun, it is always really interesting to see how an ex pat lives and what their thoughts are on the life here. Some I find have no idea of TZ life and culture and yet others are very insightful. Either way it is always fun visiting with them and getting to know them, but also see how we could live in comfort still and still work abroad which is good because I sometimes forget that there is a lot more out there than village life. I do not know maybe I will end up being an ex pat one day.
Also very weird how I can move between the worlds of Dar with all the modern connivances and Lupeta with well nothing and not even bat an eye. Today I the bus ride back to the village I realized how normal this feels to me, which is really weird. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks so I am really excited, I have research and we are making fuel efficient stoves which is great because this has been on my to do list for a while now.
I bought vanilla beans, so I think I am going to make my own vanilla, which I think is just liquor and the bean together, not sure yet I need to check this but I am really excited. I also bought Amurula which is really good, it reminds me of baileys but I am really excited to drink a bit with my coffee.
I talked to my friend Claire this week on skype and it was so much fun, I cannot wait for her to come back. Even though Zanzibar is still really far from me, I think talking on the phone will actually be a lot easier go figure.
January 31, 2012
Village Life has been good. I still have not done to much, but I have gotten out in the morning and run and I am working on going out and gettng my research done. Possibly going to start back up again tomorrow. I just need to finish giving myself the pep talk. Once I start it will be fine but it takes me a while to get there. I know it is stupid but it makes me really nervous and self conscous which is weird because all it is a few questions. I do not know.
I talked to my bibi who farms a long way away and she says that she is having trouble with monkeys stealing her crops. This made me laugh really hard, even harder after I realized what she was saying but it sounds so crazy. That is what I expected living here and instead I feel like I just got farm land. No exciting animals or anything although I am not complaining it is just funny how you imagine things and then you find out what they are really like. But I have to say I am still surprised by things on a daily basis here.
So it is the rainy season and yet we have hardly any rain, which is not good. Last year was a bad year and this year is not shaping out any differently. It has not rained for the last 3 weeks and I not sure when it will next. It stinks. It is bad enough living in this type of environment with no water bring no food into the mix and it just gets worse. I did not realize how bad it was here but it is bad especially right now when people have no money and no food because it is that time before harvest so they are left with what they did not spend from last year. It is a hard life out here.
I made tostadas today. I made homemade refried beans, guac, and flour tortillas that I fried. It was amazing and I toped it off with an egg. I wonder if I will make things like this in the states. I was also wondering about tortillas will I make these in the states or just buy them like before. I am very interest to see what my buying and eating habits are like when it comes to food. Although I will have to give myself a few weeks first to eat all those things I have been missing. Weird but I miss the craziest things. I would do anything for an apple with cheddar cheese, a turkey sandwich, or a kraki sandwich with better made chips. God food is so good. I bought so macadamia nuts in Dar and they reminded me a lot of when we went to Hawaii. They also reminded me of grandpa for some reason I remember him having chocolate covered macadamia nuts in his desk.
Reading a book called Cupcake right now and it reminds me so much of Aunt Marti. It is crazy. It has some funny parts in it that remind me of her. Which also reminds me of when we went on the bike trip and she told the guy in the bathroom that he has a nice ass in front of everyone that we were going to be biking with. I still laugh thinking about that. Just thinking of that gets me really excited for the next bike trip.
February 1, 2012
So I am not sure what is going on but in the last few days I have seen more than my fair share of mice/ rats. I swear everywhere that I turn I am running into them. It is killing me. Luckily I have yet to find one in my house but I just assume that this is where I am headed. I just hope that I do not wake up to one crawling on my head like before. I am totally fine with living with one if I never see it and it leaves me in peace but I do not think that is going to be the case. Also Jessica scared me and told me that it was probably living under my bed, I know she was joking but that is all I need. We all know how afraid of snakes I am and mice/ rats come in send. Man I hope they stay away from me. I bought poisin today to kill it if it does live with me, so now I have the added surprise of possibly walking into a room with a dead mouse not sure what I hate more.
I ran again today and felt like I ran all over the place I ran to 3 different villages before I came back and I am not going to lie it killed me. I am so tired and my legs hurt but that is what I get for going to Dar last week and eating and not doing any type of exercise.
I did more interviews today and they went really well. I feel at home in my village at the moment which is really good. I have no problem making a fool out of myself and am not as nervous to ask people questions which is good. I even at least at the moment have stopped avoiding people and am actually really excited to talk to people. Not sure exactly what has changed but I am in a good place and really excited that I will be here for the next 3 weeks before my dad and aunt joyce come.
Not sure if I mentioned this before but I planted a passion fruit vine from a seed in like October and it is starting to vine out and cover part of my courtyard. It is really cool and I am really excited for the fruit that I am going to get. I love passion fruit maybe not as much as a macintosh apple but I would say it is up there.
Also have had no network in my village this week, which kind of stinks. This means that I cannot talk to anyone unless I want to go for a walk. Really hope this changes because I really liked being able to talk in my house without the entire world looking at me while I do it.
February 2, 2012
So my little friend finally showed his face today. As I was getting some charcoal I ran into him. God I hate mice and this guy is huge. I hope he likes avocados because that is what I put the poison on. Now I am just worried where he is going to decided to die. I would love it if he showed himself out but I am not crossing my fingers.
And it was one of those days that I did not do much. I start reading a book and then time just slips away and before I know it , it is night time. Not sure how that happened I had big plans for today. Oh well I guess I will try again tomorrow.
So I have been worrying a lot about my research and today I realized that it will all work
out. I was really worried about walks into the mountains with people but then I realized I can just go camp out at the entrance a little bit to get a sample size and tell everyone and their mom that I really want to help them collect firewood. Not exactly what I had planned but I think it will work. It is crazy how once you set your mind to something it is really hard to change it sometimes and it takes more time than it should to come up with something different. I had a hard time letting go that my project is not going to go exactly as planned but I think that it is still going to be amazing and this doesn’t change that much only the people. The information is still the same. I realized this while I was talking a shower under the stars, I have to say I think I do my best thinking while talking a shower, an added bonus here is that the stars are AMAZING.
Listening to The Prayer by Bocelli. Such a good song. This reminds me of my dad and his steak dinners that he loves to have and of course the fact that he loves to eat by candle light and no other light. It is always funny because he cannot seem to figure out why we want the lights on at least a little. We do like to see what we are eating. I guess when he comes here he will get his candle light experience. Because that is all I have. I pretty much only use candles now. I really like.
Aldo ran today and I swear I have never been so tired in my life. I had a hard time walking a up the hill to my house but it was good. Again should not have taken that week off and eaten all that food. Although I have to say the food was phenomenal.
February 3, 2012
So after 3 weeks of no rainy and yes it is the rainy season, it decided to rain today. That is after it was I swear one of the hottest days ever here. I am not sure how that is possible. To top it all off during the rain, it also hailed too. Tell me how it hails here. I would never have believed it until I saw it with my own eyes. Crazy. But with that beautiful rain came lots of wind which was not good and it up rooted most of my corn. I am scared to see what it did to everyone else’s. It is bad enough that they have such a hard time growing things here, add the wind on top of that and really why are they living here. Oh yeah because the government put them here. God I would like to know what was going through their minds when they did that.
As for other things, I attempted an Indian potato dish today that I am sure has seen better days. I am not sure why I even attempted it as I do not really even like Indian food. But I am going to blame it on boredom even if that is not true. I did not really like the dish but I do like ginger and potatoes together which I would never have suspected.
I have not done any more with my research today but I did talk to old Jessica and she is going to help me with all the people that live by her. On that note I was suppose to go over there today and failed. Well actually I went over there in the morning but she was at the office and then I just never came back. I just get to comfortable at home or around my neighborhood which is crazy because the village is not that big. She might live as close as my house to dairy queen at home. I know not that far yet I just have a hard time getting there. I am going tomorrow morning though, we are making banana fritters and having coffee with baileys. I am really excited.
I went and bought alcohol today at the shop in front of my house to make homemade vanilla and the guy wanted to know if I was going to drink it. I told him I only cooked with it. I did not want him to think that I was going to drink it all by myself also it was like 8 am when I bought this so I did not want him to think I started early either. Funny. I tried to explain to him what I was making but it is really hard when they do not know what vanilla is and when you look it up in the dictionary you find the world vanilli, same for marathon. How do you explain these things when they have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe with all this explaining I do here I would make a good teacher, but I am not sure if I would be a good teacher. A classroom full of kids kind of scares me that and what if I teach them something wrong. Then the rest of there life they will have the wrong answer. Yeah think I am going to stay away from that, at least with little kids. I think I might be able to do college but
really a classroom full of people in general scares me.
Leading me to what am I going to do with my life. I have no idea. My plan ends Dec 2012, funny how it coincides with the Mayan Calendar maybe I won’t have to worry past this date anyway but really what am I going to do. I have not a clue. I will be this time hopefully have a master’s in forestry (if I do not screw up somehow) and then what. What am I going to do with that? What do I want to do in general or where should I live? If anyone could answer any of these questions for me I would really appreciate it. I mean if you just got me a job that might be even better. There are just to many possibilities out there and to many options. And of course I hate making decisions. How am I going to choose where to go next and what to do. It is all very nerve racking and exciting all at the same time. A new chapter is going to start for me but at the same time it is really really scary.
February 5, 2012
I was actually really excited to blog yesterday but Andrew called, which I was a great surprise. Funny thing is now I have no idea what I wanted to blog about. Nothing to exciting has happened here. I went over to old J yesterday and taught her how to make banana fritters and then we had coffee with amurla. It was great. Besides that not to much. I also did run 8 miles which was awesome and I could still walk afterwards which was an even bigger plus.
Today I ran again. I cannot believe how nice it feels to run and I really like it because I get to see lots of people and talk to them although they usually need something from me which is fine. At the moment everyone wants vaccinations for there chickens which is great, I just have been feeling really lazy lately and have not wanted to walk around the village at night. Luckily enough people asked me today that I am going to do it tomorrow.
Old J helped me with my research today. We went to a bunch of people’s houses and asked them questions it was really great. Although I still am not sure how to explain it, as of now I just say that I want to learn more about firewood because it is so complicated to explain school. It is hard enough for an American to comprehend. But I talked to a bunch of people today and am feeling a lot better about the whole thing good too that their were a lot of people that go and cut firewood right now too. Weird how all my neighbors do not cut it at the moment and then the people in say the next block over do go. I wonder why that is.
I had mkande today and it was amazing. It is may favorite especially with kachimbaree. Although at the moment tomatoes are so so explensive. It is crazy used to be able to get 4 for 200/= and now you are lucky to get 1 good one. Crazy. Everything is going up in price and it stinks. I have a hard time paying and I get a salary what about all these farmers. Ah it will drive ya crazy. I had pineapple today and it remnded me of the dole plantation and that amazing pineapple ice cream. It was so good. I wonder if I went back I would think it is as good as I thought. Not sure if I want to but man it was good actually the entire trip was so much fun. I want to go back to Hawaii and snorkel and eat lots of really good food.
I know it is super bowl Sunday so I guess everyone is at aunt Joyces eating lots of amazing food. I am so so jealous I cannot even think. The buffalo dip alone is enough for me to come back home. Tz food just does not have the same flavor as American.
Also weird I have not been able to focus to well lately on reading books and watching tv. Not sure why but nothing is keeping my interest. I feel like I am all over the place which stinks because what am I suppose to do if I cannot read or watch tv when I have some down time. Really hope this changes but I think I am going to try maybe some word puzzles or something to try and learn something. I feel like my brain is fried. Maybe if I started to do some crossword puzzles that would help. I mean I swear Grandpa Witte knew everything and he did a lot of those. That and play cards.
God I miss cards. Funny that when I play cards here or with anyone else that is not a Witte. I have to hold my tongue sometimes. I think we might take the game a little more serious than other people. It is funny. Like not picking up your cards until the dealer has or the winner gets to go first in the next game. It is funny I blame Aunt Marti and Cindy for this. But god I miss cards, well actually I think I just miss the cottage in general. It is funny I was thinking about it today and I really the cottage is the perfect place. I mean all you ever think of is good things if your at Little Whitefish or Brooks. I mean what could be better a lake, family, a bonfire, amazing food, and lots of games and relaxing time.
February 7, 2012
I have been really busy yesterday again with research and vaccinating chickens It has been really great and every day I am feeling better and better about my research. Crazy how that happens. I go from being really scared to having no problem at all. But it is going really good and I am starting to see some interesting things which is great and awesome because things are not necessarily going as expected. I have also seen a lot more people go and cut firewood which is good because I was really scared that I was going to have to beg people to go.
Other than that I have stayed in the village for a week without leaving which is new. Usually I go into town a once but I have not done so yet which is crazy. Town actually sounds really far lately. The last few days I was suppose to go but I keep just putting it off. I am going Thursday though because we go a new girl around here. I also have like no food so I really need to go I just am being really lazy. Also I really like my schedule here and I know if I go into town it will change or not go the same. Weird I know but I really like to know how things are going to go.
Yesterday I left my house really early and did not come back to really late (at least for me) everyone was all over themselves trying to figure out where I was. I had more than one tell me they had been to my house multiple times and my door was locked. It was pretty funny.
It is a full moon here at the moment and it is gorgeous. I love the night. It is really peaceful too.
February 9, 2012
So I went into town today because I thought we were all meeting up to hang out and get some things done. Turns out everyone had planned on going back, they just forgot to tell me which is fine it just stunk because they all went to the bar to hang out and I had to get some work done on the internet that I had been putting off for the last week. But whatever it was still really fun to see everyone and catch up for a little bit. Even better to get some food, you can only live on flour for so long. Now I am fully stocked up on fruits and oatmeal for another week.
I got a email from my professors and now I am confused a little more about my research and what I am suppose to be doing. I am going to sit on it for a day and then send them and email and then hopefully talk ot them next week. It is just so hard to communicate with people lately even more so than normal. I cannot see to get service anywhere in my village for more than 2 second.
Jessica asked if I had rested today and I was telling her that I tried but all I could think about was my research and the projects that I am doing here. She told me to not worry so much that everything will just take time, which of course she is right. As she usually is but do not tell her that. I am so lucky to have her here. She is amazing. I told her that I would buy her a goat or a pig before I left and this has her on cloud 9 at the moment, funny though because she was talking to her mom about it and her mom asked how she expected to take care of another animal. Which is true the lady does not sleep as it is, with a house to take care of, 2 small kids, a farm, and chickens and everything she does for me. She truly is wonder women.
I almost have everything ready for the when my dad comes. I just need to actually book the some stuff in the next few days which I probably should do earlier than later, hopefully I keep on top of this stuff.
Jenna and Lindsey both emailed me about dresses for their weddings which is really exciting but then they want to know what size they think I will need. I have no idea and what if they get a size that is to small, I will look like a blimp. Oh well, I know it will all work out in the end anyways.
I talked to my mom today and she is going to visit Hannah, Aunt Marti, and Aunt Beth. I think she is going to have a great time with them. I am kind of surprised that she is going to telluride where it is cold instead on a nice beach, but she is going to have so much fun. I know I have people coming here and I am really excited but I do not want to miss anything. I just want to be everywhere.
Got called fat again today. I am not sure why but I swear in the last few weeks I have been getting it a lot more. I know they do not mean it in a bad way but sometimes ok there is never a good time, that is the last thing I want to here. I am just a little surprised that it has been used so much, especially because I have been running and I am pretty sure I have not gained any weight or lost any. I think I look the same. But either way I know I have not changed that much in the last few months, so why the sudden change in talk. Really hope Randi doesn’t hear them say it or they are going to get a ear full. That is one thing she hates more than anything is when they say that .
Claire comes back in 6 days which is going to be amazing, not that I am actually going to get to see her for a bit but I am really excited that we will at least be back in the same country. And can actually talk on the phone and hear each other.
February 10, 2012
SO it has been one of those days that is moving at a really nice slow pace and then all of a sudden I am in hyperactive speed. We made fuel efficient stoves today and I was in charge on them after they left. Bad idea. It got dark I couldn’t see and now I am not sure what it looks like. I am pretty sure they are all going to have something to say about this but I did not know what else to do. I also almost made it crumble so we will have to see what it turns out like. I think it will still be completely fine, it just will not look that amazing to the eye. But does that really matter, to me no but to the women I am sure it does. Oh well. I will hear about it tomorrow anyways.
While I was trying to fix the stove, I burnt my pizza dough and made a mess of my kitchen, god I cannot wait for electricity and a refrigerator. I am trying to eat healthier and at least 3 meals a day but lately it has just been really hard. Not sure why I just have not been in the mood to cook, Luckily I remembered there is a café in front of my house so I can go there but besides that I have to keep reminding myself to eat more and better. Not good, You would think that because of my eating habits I have loss some weight that is a major NO and I got more you look so fat today. Congrats. Oh well, what ya going to do.
I hope that stove looks better in the morning than I think it does. Cross your fingers. It looked really good before I touched it so we will have to see. Otherwise not really sure what I have planned for tomorrow. I am hoping to finish my interviews but I think I will have to go back and talk to all the people some more but I would like to already have an initial talk with them anyways and make sure I remember and know everyone. It is hard to know what people’s names are because everyone calls each other brother or sister. I also read my professors email again today and have started to read some past thesis again to hopefully help me better understand what I am suppose to be doing. I know I am super over thinking this but I really do not want to get home and find out I missed a key thing or have nothing to go on but to be fair I am not sure I have anything at the moment either.
I am really enjoying the village still. It has been great I have been walking around a lot and talking to people and hanging out with them. I love it. It almost makes me not want to leave, Almost
While we were making the stove in my front yard a mouse ran into mouse. Yup I saw it scurry across my floor. So I have that to fret over tonight. I did by poison so I really hope it dies. Funny though it did come in through the front door. I hope it does reek so much havoc before I kill it.
February 11, 2012
The stove doesn’t look as bad as I originally thought which is really good. I really thought it was a goner not the case which I am very happy about. So every day I get up and I run. Today I got up and did not know how far I was going to run, 9 miles later I thought that I was going to faint in the middle of the farms and that they were not going to find me for days. Luckily that was not the case and I made it back to my house where I then slept for 2 hours.
Man that was a long run makes me wonder how long I will sleep after the ½.
The mouse is still in the house. I saw it scurry up the wall today as I moved a bunch of stuff
to my storage area in hopes that the mouse gets the hint that he is not wanted here of course along with the massive amounts of poison that are throughout the house.
I made potatoes today and put BBQ sauce on them. All this really did was make me really,
really want some sort of meat. Anything at this point it has been almost 3 weeks without meat and my body remembers it. Doesn’t help that they book I am reading is talking about food a lot. That and just watched Julie and Julia. So I really am craving BBQ at the moment. Also taco pizza which is never going to happen in a million years here, but I can dream can’t I. Is it bad that I am thinking of putting BBQ sauce on tunafish. Not sure if that is a good idea or not but I might find out in the next few days.
I did more interviews today and am going to try and call my professors this week. I think I am starting to have a grasp of what I am doing. I know I have a lot more to do but it is nice to now know where almost everyone lives and realize that I know all of these people already. That blows my mind. I was walking around today and realizing that I know most of the people in my village, which is nice considering it is so big. But I cannot tell you more than maybe 10 people’s names. I know that is really, really bad.
Have been cooking with real garlic and I have to say I swear everything tastes better. I am feeling in a cooking mood so I am interested to see what tomorrow brings food wise. I am thinking something with passion fruit as I bought a ton this week.
February 12, 2012
I cannot believe that my dad will be here in one week. That is crazy. Soo freakin awesome.
Don’t really know what else to say that can be better than what I have already stated.
February 13, 2012
So yesterday I culdn’t really write anything either because I had a few women from my women’s group come to me telling me that all the women wanted from the group was for me to give them things and that they do not care about learning anything they just want to see what they can get free from the white person. I am not sure if this is or is not true but either way it really stinks to hear. I am not sure what I am going to do with the information yet either. Young Jesca said that a bibi told her. I am not sure if it is true or not but I do not really care to much I guess. I am going to try and stay out of it as I am doing what I want to do with the group and do not feel like I am being taken advantage of. But it does still stink to hear because I really thought I could trust them all and they understood what I am here for. Not sure any more but what am I going to do about it. Life must go on and I like teaching them new things still because it also gives me something to do.
I spent this morning GPSing my village only to get home and realize that I had pushed a wrong button and all of it was nothing. SO tomorrow I will be at it again. I do not mind it to much though because I get out of the house and walk a lot. And I get to talk to lots of people.
I also have to have to go into town tomorrow and take care of some things and send my professors an email telling them my thoughts and what I am up to. I really hope I can get into town. Weird how without Claire here there doesn’t seem to be any reason to leave Lupeta other than to charge my things which I have been trying to get other people to do. Crazy how life changes like that. But I need to charge things as well and use the internet so to the town I must go.
I made the best omelet today with BBQ sauce on top. It was really good. I even took a picture. I have been doing a pretty good job of documenting my food here. I wonder if I will ever do anything with it. I have also been thinking after watching Julie and Julia that I need to find something to do, a goal. I do know that I am here and that I am going to school and those are goals, but I want a fun goal. Something that I can do a little bit of everyday to help make the days go by more and give me more of a purpose something that is fun. Any ideas? Let me know.
I also ran today and have to say that I did not do so good. My legs felt like 100 pounds bricks. Hopefully tomorrow goes better. I only have 2 weeks to go. I cannot believe it I am really excited, very nervous but excited. I think all the people, the new environment, and running with my dad will hopefully give me some added push to hopefully move a little faster. I am also trying to get Randi to run with me as she did not train this year. I told her that you probably could walk as fast as I run so hopefully she runs with me, I love running with people and talking so that would be nice. I guess my dad could to but I know he runs so much faster than me. How he does it I am not sure.
For some reason today I have been thinking a lot about Brooks Lake and all the fun that we have there. I cannot wait to come home and go to the cottages. They are my favorite places in the entire world of course along with Beaver Island. Probably because this means almost everyone is included in my favorite places as there are always so many people around. But I cannot wait to come home, have a fire, eat lots of food that is not good for me, swim, play cards, and have a cold beer.
February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine’s day. I think I will watch the movie today in honor of the day. Although I have not done anything special at all today. Kind of a bummer but I am not sure I have ever done anything that special except maybe eaten candy hearts and got a card from my mom.
Yup I live with a family of mice that seem not take care at all about my food. I cannot get them out of my house and they are killing me. I know they are tiny but at night in the dark I am scared to death of them. I am going to hopefully bring a car in this week to get rid of them because I want them to be gone before my dad gets here.
Also what does it say when you eat the same thing for breakfast and dinner a lot. I am not sure if I am eating all of this oatmeal because I really love it that much or if I am just to tired to make anything else. Also after watching Julie and Julia I have been thinking a lot about cooking and I think I would like to learn the chemistry behind food and why certain foods work and others don’t. I also have had my eye on a cast-iron skillet for the past 3 months and might actually get around to buying it soon.
Aunt Joyce wanted to know if she should bring a pillow over here. This makes me really wonder what they think they are getting themselves into. I am not sure but if she thinks that we do not have pillows I am scared of what else she thinks we lack over here. Knowing her she will come prepared though which is never a bad thing. I cannot believe she hasn’t ask about toilet paper yet. I am so excited for them to come though, it is always a blast when those 2 get together.
Random thought- I think I like my oatmeal better with a little salt in it, definitely a different taste.
Oh I almost forgot. I biked into town today and back and I realize I am not as in good of shape as I thought. I am going to have to do some training for this bike trip. So I do not die. I also out ran a storm today which was very good because I was in the middle of nowhere and would have had to stay under a tree and it was getting dark. Did not like that thought at all.
February 16, 2012
Today we attempted to make candles with the group and they turned into a complete disaster. But it was still really fun and now I know how to take wax from a beehive and make it into actual wax that can be used for candles. Lucky me I learned it with an in between process of making alcohol. Wonder if I will ever use this at home. It is funy because we tried to make them yesterday but there was a meeting about water and all the women came to my house but then the chairperson came and got them all and told them they needed to go to the meeting. It was really funny.
Today I mapped out more of my village and found that it is about 1 mile long. I thought it would be longer but the GPS doesn’t lie. One cool thing about the GPS is that you can watch your speed as you walk so I did a lot of that while I walked and talked with people. Tomorrow I am going out with a mama to cut firewood which I am really excited about but first I have to run 10 miles which I am not to excited about. Luckily the marathon is almost here. I am really excited and ready to see how I fair.
The women saw a picture of my dad today and they said that he looked really young. I think he will like that compliment. They then asked if you could have 2 wives in America because they would like to marry him. I told them that my mom probably would not like that. I also had someone tell me that I had a very nice nose today. That was a weird one. I was talking and she just came and touch it, really different.
Have not had any mice sighting in the last few days which is really good but I am sure they will pop their heads in at some point probably with Aunt Joyce and Dad get here. The house is almost ready, I cleaned a lot today, washed a ton of clothes, and sprayed for bugs so I think it will be the cleanest that it has been in a while. I am ready for them to come and meet everyone. They are all really excited to meet them. Jesca is going to kill a chicken for them which I am really excited about because I really want to learn how to do that. Not sure why but it is on my list of things to learn here.
I have been thinking about possible taking a up beekeeping when I get back home. Not sure exactly why but I think it could be a fun hobby and I think there is plently of room for it either at the cottage or at the shop. I guess I will have to see where I end up and everything , something I am not ready to think about yet. I do want to know but at the same time I have no idea what I want to do with my life so it is a little, ok really scary at the moment to think about. I have been thinking about the cottages a lot lately and ski team not sure why but I have.
February 17, 2012
Weird how when you about to leave places that is when it gets the busiest, although I can say that my last few weeks have been really busy but today was probably one of the busiest, most tiring days here. I got up this morning and ran 10 miles and then immediately came home and started with my house work and making banana bread because all my bananas got smashed this week. By the time I was done with all of this, I had a 1 to chill and then I went and walked the mountains with a friend for research and then I went to Jesca’s to get a mattress and now I am here. It was crazy. I am so tired it is unbelievable. But it was a great day and got me more excited about my research and being here again.
I am at a really good place here at the moment, probably because I know that everything is drawing to close but at the same time it is really nice to be able to just walk around and not feel like an outsider to feel like I might actually belong here. Although I am still going to go with I belong home at the cottage. But it is still a nice thought.
The mouse at part of my banana bread today. This means war if it wasn’t already. I really think I might have to get a cat these last few months. I really do not know what else to do. My house is spotless and the poison is not working. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I feel like my dad at the moment with his rodent problems, maybe its genetic.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Research is STARTED or at least closer!
January 10,2012
Again I am having writers block not sure why it has become so much work to write a blog entry but it has. I do find it really weird how I can dread with all my might returning to the village and then when I get back be so happy, it is so weird. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks. I am starting my research so that is going to keep me busy as well as my other meetings that I have. I am really excited to start my research because I feel like I actually have a purpose which I love to death. I am also still training for the ½ marathon and am really excited about it. I am not sure when it happened but I really do love running it is so much fun and you feel so good when you are done. I am reading a book at the moment about ultra runners and it is insane. I swear so people really are super human.
Also got a package from Jenna and it was awesome. Christmas cookies, I felt like I was back at home. I am also getting really excited for my dad and aunt to come it should be so much fun. Just a little nerve racking tryong to figure things out and make sure we are giving things enough time, I know they are going to have a good time no matter what but I just want to make sure they have the best trip ever. I am really excited for them to come and see how I live but I think I am even more excited to play cards and have some beers with them on the beach. I think it is going to be
awesome.
January 17, 2012
I have been meaning to write for the last week but not sure what has happened. I have been really enjoying life in the village and the slow pace for once, which is saying a lot, not sure if I am just getting used to being here and accepting this is how life is or what, but it has been really enjoyable. I have got into so what of a pattern. I sleep until I feel like getting up and then I go for a nice long run around the village and greet everyone in the morning on their way to the town or to their farms. At first I used to be really self conscious because I was running and what would they think, but now it does not even phase me and they are pretty use to it now. They all greet me to and state the obvious as usual. After running, I do house work and hang out until after lunch and then I go walk around the village and greet people before coming back home cooking dinner and going to bed. Pretty simple and straight forward. Some days I have to say how crazy it is that the time flies by and then other days it doesn’t. Today would be an example of when the day just keeps going. I woke up this morning and ran into town (8K WOOT WOOT) and then got my bike back. My bike was at the shop getting a lot of things fixed. One thing I have learned do not let people borrow things that you want back in the same condition that it left it. Unfortunate this time because it was actually to another volunteer but after lots of new parts it is back and running which is awesome. This is good news because this means that I can now easily get in and out of town again and it can help me train for the ½ marathon and hopfully later for the PALM if everything works out. Cross your fingers. But anyways I got back and did some work on the computer made lunch (dried fish and ugali, I am really turning Tanzo), and I still have lots of time before I have to go vaccinate chickens.
But this routine is all going to change because next week I have to go to Dar for the week which I am really looking forward too. I have some meetings which are going to be boring but it is going to be great because I get to meet our new Country Director (she sounds awesome) and hang out with friends that I only get to see every once in a while and of course eat some really good food. I want to go to this Ethiopian restaurant that is supposed to be amazing. It is going to be great.
So I know I have said that I was going to start my research but it has not exactly happened yet. I swear I am getting closer I just have not gone out and started yet. Both because people are gone and I keep making excuses and putting it off. But I am really happy that my dad and JP are coming because this is going to force me to start and finish before they come. I work better on deadline anyway.
I went to Paul’s house last week for his birthday. It was great a few other volunteers came out to and we made some really good food and taught them how to play eukre. It was great to teach people so now we have people to play with but god is it hard and painstaking. First because it actually is a really hard game to teach and trying to teach it makes you realize how crazy the game sounds. But it all worked out and they actually ended up beating me and Paul. It is hard to play with new people because they are such wildcards. It was great though. We also made mango bread and BBQ pork which was awesome. Another volunteers birthday is sat so I am already looking forward to the festivities although this one possibly includes a disco and I am not really a disco person but it should be fun.
My garden is looking really good considering it has only rained a handful of times within the last 2 months but it looks gorgeous all the same. Paputo who is 3 was at my house last week and saw that I had insects all over the walls and told me I needed to use the chemicals to get rid of them. It made me laugh getting told by a 3 year old that my house was dirty. Also crazy because I am the one that sprays everyone’s houses for insects. Which thank god I am getting rid of tomorrow. I am giving the business to my neighbor as an income generating projects it is super easy and should give her some more money to work with.
January 18, 2012
Not sure what happened but while I was making amazing pancakes, I thought today would be a great day to blog. Almost feel like things are getting back to normal. I woke up to the sound of knocking at an ungodly hour to my neighbor asking if I was ready to go for a run. I really do enjoy waking up on my own but I have to say I am not used to having no personal space even with a whole house to myself, so we went running and I think it might have killed her. We will find out tomorrow when we have to go for 4.5 miles. Not sure how well she is going to fair.
I then had a women’s meeting to day where we were suppose to make fuel efficient stoves and of course we did not because we were not able to get all the material yet. After much debate between me and Jesscia (Jessica won) we decided to wait until we had different equipment but not before I voiced my concerns that we needed to do this and I am starting to count the months down until I am done. They said do not worry, but how can I not worry when this has been one of the projects I have wanted to do that I think will greatly help the community and it has already taken me a year to get this far. They still said it is better to go slow than fast which they are right of course I just really really want to do these stoves. Thinking about it, this would be me pushing the community to do something out of my own interest but I know this would greatly help them I just wish they moved faster. But then told me we would do them before I leave and I hope they are right. But the women are really good even if they do drive me crazy, they mean well. I have also started to see that I am adopting the African time a little to well . I swear I can spend an entire day doing nothing and not think twice about it and am actually sad to find out I have things to do. I really am enjoying myself but this has made me really lazy and my work and house lives have taken a toll. I am really lazy and am hardly accomplishing anything, at least by American standards. But I did start my research today, I finally gathered up the will and started and are already have to interviews ready for tomorrow. I am still really scared/ nervous about them but I figure the sooner I start the easier it is going to be. It already feels a little easier which is good although I thought it was hard in the US to explain my program try here where most people don’t even go to secondary school and then they don’t even speak the same language as me although I guess we do now, even if my Swahili is somewhat special.
I have been thinking about if another volunteer should be sent here and I have decided that another one would be good because they have gotten used to me and the type of work that I do and how I can help so I think they will have an easier time here. But also I think they will also need to realize that they are not going to do any earth shattering things. But I really do have a good village, I really like the people and have even found that I do not mind the landscape and environment even if there is no snow. Especially during the rainy season it is gorgeous I have a great view of the mountains and endless farms.
Also I am doing my last round of vaccinations before I hand them off to someone else. It makes me nervous to see what will happen but I figure now is better with me here being able to see the results or lack there if them. I wanted to do it this one last time because I wanted some more face time with my villagers before I do interviews to get a better idea of who certain people are because although I live in a small community and talk to a lot of people, most I have no idea what their names are or where they live. Crazy.
I made potatoes pancakes today and I have to say they were horrible. I think I have been spoiled between 5th sts and my dads. I did eat them but I have to say it was out of hunger not like. Also I have to admit that have started to eat a lot of bugs, I seem to have a bug infestation within my food and they are really tiny and I am at the point where I really do not care anymore and I just mix them in as if they were not even there. I know this is bad but it just seems like a lot of work kind of reminds me of my mom and dad’s fight with moths in the kitchen cupboards.
January 19, 2011
I again got woke up to go running which I guess is good, I just really like waking up on my own. I never really thought I was one to sleep but more and more I feel like I am turning into Hannah with my sleep. But anyways I got up and went running and then sprayed a few houses with bug spray I am turning into the chicken and bug lady, not sure if this is a good thing but then I went back to bed which was really nice.
I finally put my house back together and have stopped being super lazy just in time to leave again. I have been a pig the last few weeks, although I am sure by my America standards is not messy at all but here I am a huge neat freak so not having everything in order was killing me yet not killing me enough to actually do anything about it. Funny how that happens.
I did more of my research today and it was really nice, I had some great conversations with people even if I did feel like the biggest idiot asking them the questions and then asking if I could measure some of their firewood, I think they understood why but really it does sound kind of crazy. It was really fun though. I talked to one guy that ad seen a video that I guess was American because all he thinks is that people walk around shooting each other and so America is a dangerous place compared to Tanzania which is super peaceful. I told him how can that be when they beat people to death, he did not think that that counted. Interest enough. This also reminded me that I think I have Jesca scared of America as well because I was telling her about where I live and some of the problems around the area. Not the best thing to do but I reassured her that it was a peaceful place yet I do feel safer here than I do walking from my car to my house at night some days. Although here I do worry about snakes, insects, and the occasional crazy person.
I have been telling people about my dad and JP coming and it is going to be interesting what everyone thinks of them and at the same time what they think about how and where I live. I am interested to see if it matches up with what I have been saying or if it is completely different.
Also I have an influx of eggs this week so I made chocolate cake with coconut frosting. It was pretty good but I have found for the most part that I actually enjoy making the food more than actually eating it unless it is no bake cookies. Though I love. Otherwise I am just as happy to give it away. Hoping tomorrow to try and make refried beans with flour tortias but I am not sure yet if I want to spend all the time but what it really boils down to is if I want to start the charcoal stove. We will see.
January 20, 2012
Yup, I have definitely lived here to ling already. I was suppose to go to a meeting at 3pm and did not get there until 4:30 to wait and find out that no one was coming. And instead of being mad about it I did not care at all. It was crazy, last year that would have made me so mad. There was no meeting because everyone was fetching water from the tank because the tank has been broken for weeks and nobody had any, so it was a legitimate excuse but I was just so surprised to find out that I was not mad at all. Crazy.
Besides that I woke up and ran 7 miles today and it felt great. Although I did come home and crash but of course was woken up by people knocking on my door the amount of people that come to my house at the worst times is unbelievable. I never am fully relaxed because I just know someone is going to knock.
I am heading to Dodoma tomorrow and I have to say I have had a great last 2 weeks and I do not really want to leave although I do at the same time but I think I am finally finding my groove after so long although I was talking to Andrew and it probably also has to do with the fact that I know that I am leaving soon but still it has been really really great.
Again I am having writers block not sure why it has become so much work to write a blog entry but it has. I do find it really weird how I can dread with all my might returning to the village and then when I get back be so happy, it is so weird. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks. I am starting my research so that is going to keep me busy as well as my other meetings that I have. I am really excited to start my research because I feel like I actually have a purpose which I love to death. I am also still training for the ½ marathon and am really excited about it. I am not sure when it happened but I really do love running it is so much fun and you feel so good when you are done. I am reading a book at the moment about ultra runners and it is insane. I swear so people really are super human.
Also got a package from Jenna and it was awesome. Christmas cookies, I felt like I was back at home. I am also getting really excited for my dad and aunt to come it should be so much fun. Just a little nerve racking tryong to figure things out and make sure we are giving things enough time, I know they are going to have a good time no matter what but I just want to make sure they have the best trip ever. I am really excited for them to come and see how I live but I think I am even more excited to play cards and have some beers with them on the beach. I think it is going to be
awesome.
January 17, 2012
I have been meaning to write for the last week but not sure what has happened. I have been really enjoying life in the village and the slow pace for once, which is saying a lot, not sure if I am just getting used to being here and accepting this is how life is or what, but it has been really enjoyable. I have got into so what of a pattern. I sleep until I feel like getting up and then I go for a nice long run around the village and greet everyone in the morning on their way to the town or to their farms. At first I used to be really self conscious because I was running and what would they think, but now it does not even phase me and they are pretty use to it now. They all greet me to and state the obvious as usual. After running, I do house work and hang out until after lunch and then I go walk around the village and greet people before coming back home cooking dinner and going to bed. Pretty simple and straight forward. Some days I have to say how crazy it is that the time flies by and then other days it doesn’t. Today would be an example of when the day just keeps going. I woke up this morning and ran into town (8K WOOT WOOT) and then got my bike back. My bike was at the shop getting a lot of things fixed. One thing I have learned do not let people borrow things that you want back in the same condition that it left it. Unfortunate this time because it was actually to another volunteer but after lots of new parts it is back and running which is awesome. This is good news because this means that I can now easily get in and out of town again and it can help me train for the ½ marathon and hopfully later for the PALM if everything works out. Cross your fingers. But anyways I got back and did some work on the computer made lunch (dried fish and ugali, I am really turning Tanzo), and I still have lots of time before I have to go vaccinate chickens.
But this routine is all going to change because next week I have to go to Dar for the week which I am really looking forward too. I have some meetings which are going to be boring but it is going to be great because I get to meet our new Country Director (she sounds awesome) and hang out with friends that I only get to see every once in a while and of course eat some really good food. I want to go to this Ethiopian restaurant that is supposed to be amazing. It is going to be great.
So I know I have said that I was going to start my research but it has not exactly happened yet. I swear I am getting closer I just have not gone out and started yet. Both because people are gone and I keep making excuses and putting it off. But I am really happy that my dad and JP are coming because this is going to force me to start and finish before they come. I work better on deadline anyway.
I went to Paul’s house last week for his birthday. It was great a few other volunteers came out to and we made some really good food and taught them how to play eukre. It was great to teach people so now we have people to play with but god is it hard and painstaking. First because it actually is a really hard game to teach and trying to teach it makes you realize how crazy the game sounds. But it all worked out and they actually ended up beating me and Paul. It is hard to play with new people because they are such wildcards. It was great though. We also made mango bread and BBQ pork which was awesome. Another volunteers birthday is sat so I am already looking forward to the festivities although this one possibly includes a disco and I am not really a disco person but it should be fun.
My garden is looking really good considering it has only rained a handful of times within the last 2 months but it looks gorgeous all the same. Paputo who is 3 was at my house last week and saw that I had insects all over the walls and told me I needed to use the chemicals to get rid of them. It made me laugh getting told by a 3 year old that my house was dirty. Also crazy because I am the one that sprays everyone’s houses for insects. Which thank god I am getting rid of tomorrow. I am giving the business to my neighbor as an income generating projects it is super easy and should give her some more money to work with.
January 18, 2012
Not sure what happened but while I was making amazing pancakes, I thought today would be a great day to blog. Almost feel like things are getting back to normal. I woke up to the sound of knocking at an ungodly hour to my neighbor asking if I was ready to go for a run. I really do enjoy waking up on my own but I have to say I am not used to having no personal space even with a whole house to myself, so we went running and I think it might have killed her. We will find out tomorrow when we have to go for 4.5 miles. Not sure how well she is going to fair.
I then had a women’s meeting to day where we were suppose to make fuel efficient stoves and of course we did not because we were not able to get all the material yet. After much debate between me and Jesscia (Jessica won) we decided to wait until we had different equipment but not before I voiced my concerns that we needed to do this and I am starting to count the months down until I am done. They said do not worry, but how can I not worry when this has been one of the projects I have wanted to do that I think will greatly help the community and it has already taken me a year to get this far. They still said it is better to go slow than fast which they are right of course I just really really want to do these stoves. Thinking about it, this would be me pushing the community to do something out of my own interest but I know this would greatly help them I just wish they moved faster. But then told me we would do them before I leave and I hope they are right. But the women are really good even if they do drive me crazy, they mean well. I have also started to see that I am adopting the African time a little to well . I swear I can spend an entire day doing nothing and not think twice about it and am actually sad to find out I have things to do. I really am enjoying myself but this has made me really lazy and my work and house lives have taken a toll. I am really lazy and am hardly accomplishing anything, at least by American standards. But I did start my research today, I finally gathered up the will and started and are already have to interviews ready for tomorrow. I am still really scared/ nervous about them but I figure the sooner I start the easier it is going to be. It already feels a little easier which is good although I thought it was hard in the US to explain my program try here where most people don’t even go to secondary school and then they don’t even speak the same language as me although I guess we do now, even if my Swahili is somewhat special.
I have been thinking about if another volunteer should be sent here and I have decided that another one would be good because they have gotten used to me and the type of work that I do and how I can help so I think they will have an easier time here. But also I think they will also need to realize that they are not going to do any earth shattering things. But I really do have a good village, I really like the people and have even found that I do not mind the landscape and environment even if there is no snow. Especially during the rainy season it is gorgeous I have a great view of the mountains and endless farms.
Also I am doing my last round of vaccinations before I hand them off to someone else. It makes me nervous to see what will happen but I figure now is better with me here being able to see the results or lack there if them. I wanted to do it this one last time because I wanted some more face time with my villagers before I do interviews to get a better idea of who certain people are because although I live in a small community and talk to a lot of people, most I have no idea what their names are or where they live. Crazy.
I made potatoes pancakes today and I have to say they were horrible. I think I have been spoiled between 5th sts and my dads. I did eat them but I have to say it was out of hunger not like. Also I have to admit that have started to eat a lot of bugs, I seem to have a bug infestation within my food and they are really tiny and I am at the point where I really do not care anymore and I just mix them in as if they were not even there. I know this is bad but it just seems like a lot of work kind of reminds me of my mom and dad’s fight with moths in the kitchen cupboards.
January 19, 2011
I again got woke up to go running which I guess is good, I just really like waking up on my own. I never really thought I was one to sleep but more and more I feel like I am turning into Hannah with my sleep. But anyways I got up and went running and then sprayed a few houses with bug spray I am turning into the chicken and bug lady, not sure if this is a good thing but then I went back to bed which was really nice.
I finally put my house back together and have stopped being super lazy just in time to leave again. I have been a pig the last few weeks, although I am sure by my America standards is not messy at all but here I am a huge neat freak so not having everything in order was killing me yet not killing me enough to actually do anything about it. Funny how that happens.
I did more of my research today and it was really nice, I had some great conversations with people even if I did feel like the biggest idiot asking them the questions and then asking if I could measure some of their firewood, I think they understood why but really it does sound kind of crazy. It was really fun though. I talked to one guy that ad seen a video that I guess was American because all he thinks is that people walk around shooting each other and so America is a dangerous place compared to Tanzania which is super peaceful. I told him how can that be when they beat people to death, he did not think that that counted. Interest enough. This also reminded me that I think I have Jesca scared of America as well because I was telling her about where I live and some of the problems around the area. Not the best thing to do but I reassured her that it was a peaceful place yet I do feel safer here than I do walking from my car to my house at night some days. Although here I do worry about snakes, insects, and the occasional crazy person.
I have been telling people about my dad and JP coming and it is going to be interesting what everyone thinks of them and at the same time what they think about how and where I live. I am interested to see if it matches up with what I have been saying or if it is completely different.
Also I have an influx of eggs this week so I made chocolate cake with coconut frosting. It was pretty good but I have found for the most part that I actually enjoy making the food more than actually eating it unless it is no bake cookies. Though I love. Otherwise I am just as happy to give it away. Hoping tomorrow to try and make refried beans with flour tortias but I am not sure yet if I want to spend all the time but what it really boils down to is if I want to start the charcoal stove. We will see.
January 20, 2012
Yup, I have definitely lived here to ling already. I was suppose to go to a meeting at 3pm and did not get there until 4:30 to wait and find out that no one was coming. And instead of being mad about it I did not care at all. It was crazy, last year that would have made me so mad. There was no meeting because everyone was fetching water from the tank because the tank has been broken for weeks and nobody had any, so it was a legitimate excuse but I was just so surprised to find out that I was not mad at all. Crazy.
Besides that I woke up and ran 7 miles today and it felt great. Although I did come home and crash but of course was woken up by people knocking on my door the amount of people that come to my house at the worst times is unbelievable. I never am fully relaxed because I just know someone is going to knock.
I am heading to Dodoma tomorrow and I have to say I have had a great last 2 weeks and I do not really want to leave although I do at the same time but I think I am finally finding my groove after so long although I was talking to Andrew and it probably also has to do with the fact that I know that I am leaving soon but still it has been really really great.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Merry Christmas!!
November 1, 2011
So this is the first time that I have not written a blog post in a very long time. I usually try to keep up weekly on them for both my own sanity and to also tell you what I have been up to, but I am not really sure what happened with this month. It has been a month since my last blog post and actually it has been really hard to try and sit down and write this. I am not sure exactly why either because it is not like something horrible has happened although Claire did finally leave me, so this might count as a horrible event although she has found love once again and I think is coming back in February for another long haul possibly. This would be amazing although she would be living on Zanzibar which while it would be awesome is still a trek away so I really would not see her that much. But anyways this month has been crazy in a very good way but any time I went to write any of it down I just had a really hard time like I just wasn’t ready yet or I had writers block, not really sure but it is all going to come out now as I have a layover in Ethiopia which I have to say is surprisingly cold at the moment. Another odd thing is that I am waiting in the terminal and almost everyone is black which I am of course used to but I just thought that since I am going to the US I would see more white people. Also a lot of them are gorgeous. Also I am carrying a 2 ½ foot tall giraffe with me throughout this journey so this must be getting some laughs from some people but I am really excited about it, I think it is going to Andrew’s house warming gift.
So lets tell ya about this month, it has been a whirlwind as usual. I started out the month with a good bye party for Claire which I think I already talked about and then I headed up to Tanga which is on the coast for a Training of Trainers seminar. I am going to be teaching the new volunteers so I got a trip up north which was awesome because I did not necessarily associate the north with happy times. I mean homestay is such a weird time. So much is going on and I also do not like to visit places that I have left. Not sure if this makes sense but I rarely go back to places I used to work and so on and so forth I am not sure why, I just do not. Anyways Tanga was AMAZING. I had a great time with amazing people. I got to go swimming in the ocean which of course was amazing and then I ate a ton of good food. I had coconut crab which was huge, I expected maybe a claw or 2. I swear I got to whole crabs, all for like $6. Ya got to love the sea. Then me and my Friend Rebecca saw some monkeys so of course we went to look at them and right as she went to take a picture they started running at us. So we ran like hell. Not sure if they would of actually hurt me but who wants to take that chance I have enough problems with animals as it is. After this I went to Dodoma because we are planning a girl’s conference with about 8 other volunteers. I am really excited about this because this means a lot of interaction with other volunteers which is always fun and the girls will get to see a new place and meet some new people.
As for work, I have been really busy. Randi and me got 15 boxes of books each from an NGO
called PEN TRUST. It was amazing, we were thinking that we would get like a box or 2 but no we got like 700 books each. So I think are secondary schools are on cloud 9 at the moment with this one. And to top it all off, it was all free we just had to go pick them up. Then just before I left my chickens started showing up. I got the cocks first. They each weigh about 2 K and are going to grown to about 7 each which means that I am going to be really, really scared of them. Because as it is already, they surround me anytime I walk outside and start attacking me. I really wish I was making this up but it is the truth. I feel like I am under house arrest. I also have reason to believe that they think my feet are food because of the green nail polish. I also go the chicks. So at the moment there are 114 chickens living at my house with 84 arriving while I am out of the country. Hopefully everything goes well while I am gone. Which I think it will. They seem to have it under control and are really pulling their weight at the moment which is really good.
On to other things, in Dar I saw 2 horrible things this month. First I saw a mob justice killing. I was at a restaurant and saw a bunch of people running after this man. He was running and running and tons of people were running after him. They surrounded him and killed him. The police showed up with guns and pretty much threw the body in the back of the truck and continued to drive. I was with one of my friends who was a police man and he said that that would not make the paper and a few of those happen every day which is really sad. Then yesterday night while I was waiting for my dinner a fight broke up down the road. All of a sudden people started running to fight, luckily the fight was broken up but I saw a few people running that way with machete’s in their hands. It’s a rough world.
I also walked to and from my house to Mpwapwa one day. It about killed me. I just am not that in shape. But I think I am going to try and run the ½ marathon. I think Randi and Dana talked me into this. I have a lot of training to do if I am going to do this but I think it would be really fun and I would love to cross this off my bucket list. The only problem I am having with this is that is so FREAKIN hot. I swear it just keeps getting hotter. Bring on the rain I really need some new weather. Also we went 8 days last week without water. I am not sure how I am going to explain this to people if the future. I live such a crazy life can you even imagine try to tell people about this. This absolutely trumps the I walked 5 miles up hill in the winter to school. I might even say this trumps Grandma Preston and Grandma Witte’s walk to school but not sure that is a fight I could win.
As for research, I think it is still going. I have to say I think I have become a very good volunteer because I just keep trying to put off my research and push it out of my mind. Still do not have a good reason why, I am just that good and procrastinating. I really want to do research I am just really scared of screwing it up really, really bad. I know this is all my own fault and it is mostly in my head but still that is a lot of pressure. I would rather keep my pressure at a minimum and just keep pushing it off at least until I get back.
November 19, 2011
So I am back in TZ and as usual have mixed feelings about the entire thing. It is weird I was all gung-ho about PC before I left but then I came home and of course and not feeling it as much. I think this might also have something to do with the fact that my chicken project went to shit while I was gone. I do understand that it was partly my fault and partly the women’s groups fault. But the thing is I gave them every resource at their disposal before I left. I left them numbers of the vet, agriculture officer, money for medicine, and even a phone in case something happened and still I think over ½ the chickens died. It just sucks from both sides but I am trying to look forward. I do realize that my expectations for what I want to accomplish have already gone down more. I now am second guessing most of the projects that I still have planned to do that involve other people. I know that sounds ridiculous but I do not want to do things that are not going to work. Although I knew when I started the chicken project that this was a possibility and really my main goal was to get the chickens out of the houses, so I guess I achieved that goal but I am just really discouraged now.
But I was guess it is not that big of a deal, I am getting ready to switch gears and try to put myself more into a school set of mind and focus on my research and writing a first draft of my research paper. Really need to buckle down and try and work on it because that would be a really good use of my time I think.
I think I am also glad that I went home for a second time because it gives me a chance to breath and take a look at what I am doing and what I still want to accomplish. So from that standpoint again it was good that I came home and of course it was a BLAST. I got to see a ton of people, go to Ashleigh’s wedding, and meet the newest Witte.
Also exciting news, I am going to be a bridesmaid twice next year, once for my friend Lindsey and then for Jenna Barr who also asked me to be her maid of honor which is pretty cool. Just thought I would let everyone know if they didn’t already. There are going to be a lot of weddings next year and hopefully I will be home for all of them, cross your fingers.
Also this is going to be interesting because I told all my villagers that I was going to the south of the country and not home. I just did not want to have to deal with all the questions and everything but not sure yet how to explain my new watch and sneakers. I think I am going to just tell them that my mom sent me a package. I wonder if they will believe me. Also freaking out a little about my Swahili for some reason it seems like forever compared to other times when I have left.
Being home I also got asked a lot what I planned to do after I finish school and I have to say that is a good question I really have no idea. I had the idea for a few days of going to get my PHD but really I have no clue so not sure if that is really the best idea. Doesn’t that just put off the inevitable of having to find a job but I would at least be qualified for something. Then today I was thinking that maybe I would like to live in Alaska or CO so then I was thinking what types of jobs I want to do and what I want to work with. Again no clue. I do know that I like when things are more analytical and really liked working in the chemistry labs so I was trying to think of what I would like to do. And then the question of government vs private comes up with just adds more decisions. And worst yet I do not feel qualified to even work at McDonalds at the moment. I feel like all that great chemistry and forestry knowledge that I had just flew away which stinks. So if you are still reading this I think your head probably is spinning as much as mine. SO in the end I still have no clue what I want to do or be when I grow up. Then you have to add that I do love GR and would love to live there but I also think it is the place I want to settle down and I am not sure if I am ready to do that yet. The world is just so big. I do know that I do not what to do international work I think and do not want to live overseas for long periods of time but that is all that I have. And knowing me I could probably be persuaded back into it. Not sure how my brain works but I always end up remembering the good stuff and completely forget the bad stuff which I guess is a good thing until I end up in PC again or something.
November 22, 2011
I think I have had the worst jet lag ever here. All I can tell ya is that I have slept almost every waking minute since I got off the plane and am sleepy the rest of the time. Just cannot seem to get used to the time. This of course also puts me up at the crack of dawn. But at least it gives me time to think and everything before the day gets going. As I have said when I went home and here, I have mixed feelings about being in PC. I am like a roller coaster when it comes to everything. My mom would also tell you I am sure that it kills her because some days I want to come home that instance and other days I want to extend. Not sure how that works but it does. I think it has something to do with being wrapped up in this PC and culture and wanting to accomplish so much, which is very interesting considering I have hardly accomplished anything at least when it comes to projects, I think thought from learning a new culture stand point I am going good. I mean I cannot speak the language fluently but I can get by and get what I want, I can cook their food, and have friends in the village. I think I am teaching them my culture but not as well. Certain things just are not worth it. Like how we do not like being called fat. I have explained it a few times but they are just so proud when they tell me how fat I am how am I to tell them we do not like that. But I think I am doing an ok job of explaining American culture and leading by example. The only problem is I swear some days it is so hard to get out if the house to even walk around and talk with people in general.
So after much thinking and everything , I guess at least at the current moment I am ok with my situation I mean I am learning some pretty interesting things. I would like however to be more effective at doing projects, but I have kind of giving up on that. I have already decided the last 3 projects I am going to do and then I am done. It is really nerve racking. I am also only doing these projects with certain groups. I know this sounds bad, but it is already killing me with these groups, I cannot take on any more and at least I know these people I can somewhat rely on.
When I got back to the village I found out just how much chickens have died. 100 to be exact. That leaves about 60 still alive. I have been kicking myself all up and down trying to figure out how it could have been done differently. Before I left I gave them money for medicine, a phone with voucher to call people, plenty of food and water, and the numbers of any possible person that might be of use to them. And I still wondering if it would have made a difference if I would have been here, but judging how I reacted to one bird just being sick, I do not think it would have been good. I really think I would have had a major melt down on the degree of last year. It just sucks because there is not much else that could be done, but in the matter of days I went from a good project that I was proud of to I am not sure what at the moment.
So with this project not going as planned and then hearing of other volunteers projects that are also not going as planned, I have to say that I am not big on the project band wagon at the moment. It just stinks, you think you are going to be able to do something but really in the end what most people want is things for free and to not have to do anything to get them. It just sucks.
Also here is something else to add from my village, my mweyekiti (mayor) while I was gone attempted to sell my chickens luckily Jessica was here to stop him and then today he tried asking me for money, a lot of it. Again Jesscia saw my reaction and said just to say that I did not have any. It just sucks. This paired with before I left people were asking why I was not going to do such and such projects only to have to tell them that I actually had planned on it but nobody followed though I what I needed from them. From that stand point, it almost stinks, knowing that the bulk of what I am doing is worthless but what are ya going to do, you have to at least try, although I have to say as a result of trying so much with little result I think it has definitely jaded me some and I at some times do not speak the greatest of TZ but at the same time there are also a lot of good things here. But at the moment I have to say the bad overwhelms the good.
So as of right now, this leaves me to try and work hard on my research and get the bulk of it done in the next few months while also trying to do some small projects. I really want to have a lot of my research project done and in somewhat of a rough draft form before I get back so that it is more of a revision type thing than a O GOD thing. Hopefully that works out. I think I am almost ready to start the actual research so that is good, although of course at the same time scary as hell.
As for how I am coping being the village, it kind of sucks at the moment. I am hoping that the new volunteers will want to hang out more and do things because at the moment nobody really wants to do anything. Paul is more of a loner but I think I might try and get him to play cards once a week and then Randi I think I have lost to the village again. Although this time it is to a boy and a farm which is good for her, but I am pretty sure I will never see her now unless I go to her village, which is fine but I do not necessarily want to be around TZ and in the village when I leave mine. And Jake and Claire have left so that kind of sucks but hopefully some new volunteers will come in. we could use some fresh faces. Tanya is usually down for doing something it just stinks because we live kind of far from each other. I am not sure how she does it, she lives off by herself. She copes with it really good, not sure I could do it with no one around.
November 23, 2011
Still not quite over the jet lag but that is alright because I actually slept through the night last night. Something that very rarely happens here. Not sure when that will happen again though. I talked to the man that bought all my chickens today and he said that some of them might have had a disease but how it spread was because so many chickens were in such a small area. That really sucks. It sucks too because when he told them they need more space, they refused to believe him. Old Jessica tried to tell them that to but I am not really sure what has happened but I get the vibe not everyone cares to much for her. Not really sure what happened there. But anyways they said they were not going to do anything until I came back which stinks. Why can’t they think for themselves and why do I have to hold there hands the entire way it just stinks.
Also not really sure yet what is happening for thanksgiving so far plans have been all over the place which is fine but I really want to be with people and hang out so not sure what is going to happen. I do know that I am not going to be alone though because I cannot imagine that will be good for me, especially after being home. So at the moment it might be in a hotel room in Dodoma or at my friend Tanya’s house. Not sure yet depends on certain people and what they decide they want to do.
I have also come to the conclusion that I have a really hard time saying no to people and that I always try to make everyone happy which is probably good but it is making me insane, this thanksgiving planning is turning into way to much effort when all I wanted to do was spend it with people.
Also really, really love my kindle. I am having a hard time putting it down to do actual work. Luckily not to much actual work is needed at the moment considering I am at a standstill with my chickens and not really sure where to go from there.
December 10, 2011
It has been a long time since my last blog, mostly because I was really just too busy and entertaining people. So I will try and get everything in. I went to Tanya’s house for Thanksgiving which was really fun because I have not been to her house yet so that was nice to visit. We did not do to much, mostly I read my Kindle and we hung out. It is interesting how different our villages and lives are considering we are both here doing about the same thing.
Then I had 2 new volunteers come and stay with me for a week which was awesome. I showed them what it was like to live in a village and tried to give them a few pointers. Not sure if they were helpful or not. We went on a hike everyday in my mountains and then did yoga at night. It was great. I probably also ate better at my site than I ever had. It was a blast, I need to get more people over to my house, it is so much fun.
Then Tanya and me went up to Tanga to teach the new class about working with people in there community. It was really great but really hard to answer some of their questions and give them an idea of what it is really going to be like because it is so different for everyone. Also really crazy to look and see what I was like when I first got here. I really wish I was that way now. Now I think I have a very negative view of aid and TZ, but more on that later. It was great but I never thought I would be so excited to get back to Dodoma, it is so humid and hot up there.
I talked to my dad and I think he is coming the end of Feb and we are going to run a ½ marathon together. Or at least start it together. I am pretty sure that he is going to kick my butt, but either way it is going to be great. I also think Stephi might think that we are running up the mountain. I really hope she continues to think this.
OK so my mind is really f-ed up at the moment. I left Dodoma today to come back to the village and then whole time all I could think of how I am not doing anything or making a difference anywhere. And how I do not want to do any projects because nothing is going to work and I do not think they use the knowledge that I give them at all. I just do not know I feel kind of like I am doing nothing here and then I think of what people in the village think of me. Do they think I have done anything. I mean they gave me this house to live in to help better the community and I honestly am not sure if I have helped at all. I know PC has 3 goals and only the first is about development but it is hard to think about it that way. I mean what am I doing here if they do not want my help. I then went to Mpwapwa and had a discussion with Mathayo about this. He did not necessarily help the situation because he is just as frustrated. He thinks that the gogo people are just really lazy or at least ok with living how they have lived forever. But how can that be if they asked for a PC volunteer. I cannot figure it out. And then I think with the projects that I have done did I really help them at all or was it me doing what I wanted. Did I really give them what they wanted and need. And honestly I can not answer this and it is sad to say that it is almost to late. I mean I am still going to do a few projects but really there is not that much time left at least for anything big. I am not sure what I expected coming into PC but this was not it which is crazy because I really did not know what to expect but then again I am not really sure why/how I ended up here. I mean I really do like it because it was a good way to get my masters but at the same time why am I getting my masters. I have no clue what I am going to do and really I am not sure if I am qualified to do anything after being here for 2 years. Sure I can survive in a different culture and country but how does that cross over to work. I am not sure. I feel like everything I have learned as melted away. Not really sure where this is going, I think I am just rambling. But anyways I got back to site and I am still struggling with what to do with village and how to help better at least one person’s life. But it is crazy I am not as stressed as I thought I would be being back here. But then again it is only the first day. I also think this has something to do with Claire being gone to, although Randi is still here. It is just not the same. We are going two different ways without PC service and she is really busy with her own problems and such. After all of this I still think I am glad that I am doing PC but I have to say does it really have to be this hard, I really think that there are better ways to go about this.
The other thing that is bothering me is I am not sure what my thoughts on AID are anymore. Before coming here I thought that it was a great thing but I did not really know anything about it. I just figured they helped people better their lives but now I am not sure if it is such a good thing. I mean there are good things that come out of aid but at the same time I kind of think there has to be a better way to help people. But a lot of people think that just nobody has come up with a better way to help people better themselves. But then I think do these people really need to better themselves. Would it be so bad if we left them as they were and let them live their lives how they want to. I mean my village seems happy with the way things are.
Another thing that started all of this is old Jessica asked one of the volunteers for money. I am not sure what to make of this yet. Tanya said that maybe she understood wrong but I really think that if I understand that sentence most people do as my Swahili is not that good but I could be wrong. But this brings me to what do I do about this. I disappoints me so much I just do not understand why she would do this, she knows that I do not give out money. I saw her once after this and I just got a pit in my stomach I just do not know what to do. I am going to try and just forget it or possibly just avoid her but I just cannot believe that this happened.
Also young Jessica planting my whole garden while I was in the shower. I cannot believe her she is like superman. I wish I could be as good a friend to her as she is to me. She is amazing. I also wish I had the vocabulary to say how I felt but hopefully she gets it. She has to be one of the best things about this village and I can honestly say that if she was not here I would not be here. She helps me so much. She is the one that also told me one day when I was crying in her house that my work here was not done yet. She defiantly is a gift from God.
Sorry this was a lot of rambling but I feel a lot better and a lot more clear which is really really good because I have not be feeling so hot about how everything is going here and honestly I am really happy that I have my research here because it defiantly keeps me here and keeps me going. It gives me a reason to stay.
Also I got home and my house was locked from the inside because I apparently shut the door to hard. So instead of trying to figure away to unlock it we just knocked a hole into the door. So now I have a huge hole in the side of my door. Wonder what kind of animals I am going to attract.
December 12, 2011
I am not sure why this, but I have not been able to turn my computer on at night the last 2 nights to blog. I am not sure why this is, I have all these thoughts in my head I just find myself having a hard time turning my computer on. Luckily I needed to finish my homework today so I thought that I would blog first.
Things are going good in the village. I am feeling a little better about being here. I am still trying to figure out my projects and everything but things are looking up. It just stinks that I am not sure what I can and cannot get done here. I know that I have lots of time here still but at the same time everything takes so long that I do need to think about time at the same time. So yeah still have a lot of thinking to do.
After 2 days of laundry and cleaning my house, I almost have it back to normal although looking in the past I have decided that there is nothing normal about living here. I have never had one of those schedules to tell me what I am going to do on which day although I really wish I have more of a schedule because I think that would make me feel better or at least give me some purpose at the moment. Luckily I have the next 2 days to finish my homework and figure out projects. After that I am not sure what I am going to do but that will keep me busy for a bit and then I also have to work out everyday so there is something else. I am only up to 3 miles but it feels good so hopefully the miles will just keep on coming although I am finding it hard to wake up in the mornings. Not sure why, I think it might have something to do with the fact that it is so quite here and a little chilly which I really like but also I think a little of it is that I am in a rut and am just thinking what is the point. I know this is not the case but I cannot seem to get myself out of this. I know there are people here that want to do and accomplish things, this chicken project has just upset me more than I thought. I thought that I could fool myself into thinking that we did perform the goals and everything but I still have in the back of my mind that that there are lots of chickens dead. And I know this not necessarily my fault but at the same time I feel like I could of helped if I was here so that is kind of weighing me down. And it probably doesn’t help that it is Christmas time. I think Christmas is going to be good this year, we are going to a missionaries house up north which should be fun. Tanya went last year and said it was really nice and fun and reminded her of being with her family so I am really excited for that. I then thought I had plans for the new year, but now I am not so sure. So stuff has come up so now I am not really sure what I want to do.
I am kind of all over the place if you cannot tell. But I am still trudging a long. I really want to start my research and get that done with too. I cannot believe how long it is taking but I know this is my fault because I am so slow at getting things done. I just want to make sure I get it done in time so that if I find out that I forgot something, I can fix it before
I leave and have not messed up all of my research and data.
It IS REALLy weird how you start out the day in one mood and then you switch it. This morinign I wanted nothing more than to leave Africa forever and not return. I was on the verge of tears and honestly really scared that I was falling back into a depression and what I was like last October. But it is crazy instead of running from everything, I stayed in my village and worked through things. I then went over to young Jessica’s and this made me feel a whole lot better. I just do not understand how I can be so all over the place and want to leave so bad one minute and then finding myself thinking how could I ever leave this place. I have a little Dr. Jeykl and Mr. Hyde in me I think. But what ever happened, I worked through it and feel a ton better. I really hope this wasn’t a fluke and this continues.
December 15, 2011
It is crazy how all the days run together and so much can happen. Yesterday I had my women’s group meeting and I am somewhat back on cloud 9 with them. I am not sure if they are really that genuine or not but we planned some more projects and I see good things in our future. I really hope I am right because the chicken loss was enough almost to have me throw in the towel. So we will see. I think that they are going to attempt to make and sell the soap that I taught them to make a bit ago because they said that they want to by the peanuts, corn, and sorghum at a low price and sell at a high. Which I think is great idea and they came up with it all on their own. I think that is great but of course there is a lot of talk so we will see what their actions are. Me and Randi went in to town today and got fuel efficient stoves made which actually turned out to be a lot more expensive than I would have figured. But I am really excited to make them because I think it is actually something that could really benefit them and could help them make life a little easier. I guess we will have to see what the first one looks like and how good or bad this project goes, but at least it gives me something to look forward too.
Randi also came to my village last night which was awesome because I love seeing and hanging out with her. I have to say I am actually really blest with the region and everything that I got. I have great friends and actually a really nice view when there is rain but it can also be a nightmare and I am sure other volunteers in TZ will tell you how glad they are that they did not get my site which is partly true but at the same time you obviously make site what it is and usually everyone falls in love with their site no matter how good or bad it is.
My body is also in shabbles today. Not sure what happened but in my preparation for my dad and mine’s half marathon my body turned on me at one point and now it feels like death. Luckily I am still hanging out with Randi so I know that she will make sure I get out of bed tomorrow morning to run. Which I also have to do anyways because my dad is beating me already in miles run. How can he do that, shouldn’t I be able to run circles around him seeing that I am half his age. But apparently age has nothing to do with it, this might also be why betty and all those other people were able to pass me on the bike trip. Not sure if there is anything worse than a 70 year old grandma leaving you in the dust as you try to bike up a hill. Although I did have a ton of fun on the bike trip, it was so much fun.
Also it rained so much as so fast yesterday, that I thought for a minute I was in the middle of a snow storm and of course it made me so so happy until I realized Oh yeah I live in TZ. But it was great because now my tank is full and I have so much water. On cloud 9 again with another thing. How my mood changes so often I will never know. I will be really happy when I return home and my moods all go back into check but it is kind of nice that you can become super super happy all of a sudden but it is also horrible when it goes the other way. Luckily I think I am back in control of my feeling and everything at least for a while. I have a lot to look forward to and a lot to do still. I still have not done my research which really scares me but I think I still have plenty of time I am just worried as usual about it. Also I have to say that as ready as I am to leave already, I must not be as ready as I think because I still find myself thinking about the future here and how wonderful of a life that I have and how amazing it is to live here, so I think I am just on crack as usual and seem to not really have a firm grasp on what exactly I want. Or maybe I just want to much and it is so easy to go back home to what I know, I just do not know.
Another hole ended up in my house again today. I just cannot understand it, first off nothing in this country is built very well, my house included. Today Jessica took a pipe to it and now I have 2 holes in my house. One for if my door looks itself again and another if it rains hard. Which also means I just increased my chances significantly about sharing my house with others, hopefully dad’s best friend doesn’t make his way into my house too.
December 16,2011
Woke up this morning and went for a run with Randi. It was really fun to have someone to run. We talked as we ran which was great because I do not think that I have done that since cross country in high school is was great. Then me and Randi made food and then went around her village and hung out with some villagers. They had a big flea market today so we went and walked around a little bit but it was really intimidating with all of the people especially to when most of them have been drinking. So of course I had a lot of selective hearing which is good now but is going to be really bad when I get back home.
December 17,2011
I came back from Randi’s village today and I had to stand for 2 hours. I really thought I was going to passout. I am really glad that I did not because that would have been really embarrassing but it was crazy I was having a really hard time breathing and I am not sure why.
I then got into town and waited in true TZ fashion for Mathayo. It took him 3 hours to get to the market. Crazy how time is all over the place for people but it turned out great because we went to the carpenter and I got a frame to make fuel efficient stoves. I am really excited.
I have to say it is really crasy though. I just cannot understand my moods. I go from wanting to get out of here right this minute to wanting to stay here a while longer. This emotional roller coaster is killing me at the moment. I came back and hung out with young Jessica though and it was really really fun. I have such a good time talking with her. She understands me so well. Today we were talking about how life here is just so hard and it is hard to get a head. It just sucks. I am trying to help her out but she is right there is just a lot to do and really not that many business opportunities in the village. I do not know how I am going to help her yet but I really want to help her because she helps me every day and is like a older sister/ mother to me. I would do anything for her. I just am not sure what the best thing to do for her yet is. I told her she needs to relax and rest a little every now and then but her response is I still have this, this, and this to do. Which she is right, but it just stinks.
I watched the Family Stone last night which might explain my mood a bit. I love this movie but it makes me miss home and everyone way to much. I cannot wait until next Christmas already at Grandma’s and Uncle Jerry’s. I know it is a long ways a way but I am really excited for it already anyways.
December 20, 2011
Not really sure what is going on but I am having a hard time blogging every night. My mind is fine until I go to bed and turning on my computer is the last thing I want to do. It is really weird. Also I think has to do with the fact that I have been reading on my kindle a lot. I am so happy that I got this because I get to read so much more but at the same time I am not sure if this is such a good thing. I find myself reading more than anything else at the moment. Luckily there is not a lot to do around here because everyone is going to their farms to plant which I could go to help but that is just a really really long day and I am not really in the mood lately. I have decided that I really need to know when I am done here which I might have blogged about last time but I think this is going to put me and my mind back on track.
I spent all day yesterday making Christmas cards for all of my friends. I am really excited for the missionaries house. My friend says that it is like little America so I am really ecxcited and it will be nice to spend it with people and just hangout and play games. I really miss being home and playing games with everyone especially cards which is kind of weird I am not sure that I play that many games. Although I really do miss playing euckre and set back. But then again that just makes me also think of the cottage which I always miss.
December 20, 2011
I talked to Randi today and she told me that after the rain storm came last night 3 people were dead. Crazy. She said that they all had got swept away in the rain because it was raining so hard. But they all also had been drinking at the bar all night so that did not help them but still really scary. I honestly would never guess that could happen when there is not a flowing river involved. She also said that she cannot get out of her village at all because the roads are so bad. This makes me really happy that I am not where she is because I would be devastated if had to stay in the village for Christmas. But she wants to stay so it all
works out as it should I guess.
Also I made chocolate chip cranberry oatmeal cookies today and gingerbread cookies. They are actually all bars though because I was lazy which stinks because I really wanted to make ginger bread men but I did not want to wait for the charcoal to finally start going. Which by the way it did after 2 hours. Who has this kind of time? But I made cookies so tomorrow I am going to hand them out to the Jessicas and Talita and maybe a select other few but I am not sure who they are yet. I also made Christmas cards for them. Although I hope old J forgives me because I was suppose to go to her house almost everyday this week but did not because I was to lazy. I just do not feel like hanging out with tanzos at the moment which I know is not good but it just sounds like to much work and I would rather stay home and read my kindle. Which by the way at the moment I am hugely addicted too.
December 21, 2011
Happy first day of winter. I ran this morning and now can hardly move. I think my cross training workout yesterday really did me in. Luckily I have a few days to recover. But this also meant that I spent today lounging around the house. I think I have a problem I do not necessarily feel to depressed or anything I just cannot seem to get out and really do not feel like it to much at the moment. Most people are at their farms anyways. I don’t know.
So I had a women’s group meeting today and I could have killed all the ladies in it. They are all outraged about the chickens and what it really boils down to is that they do not want to take responsibility for the chickens. I could just scream they kept asking me more and more questions and I am pretty sure they could tell that I was frustrated. I just do not understand what they do not get. I am bringing more chickens because I still have not got them all yet and then they are going into the community. It is crazy, I never saw this as my problem. It is like they are scared to take responsibility for them which is weird because they have chickens at home but maybe it is like me and my research.
So this is the first time that I have not written a blog post in a very long time. I usually try to keep up weekly on them for both my own sanity and to also tell you what I have been up to, but I am not really sure what happened with this month. It has been a month since my last blog post and actually it has been really hard to try and sit down and write this. I am not sure exactly why either because it is not like something horrible has happened although Claire did finally leave me, so this might count as a horrible event although she has found love once again and I think is coming back in February for another long haul possibly. This would be amazing although she would be living on Zanzibar which while it would be awesome is still a trek away so I really would not see her that much. But anyways this month has been crazy in a very good way but any time I went to write any of it down I just had a really hard time like I just wasn’t ready yet or I had writers block, not really sure but it is all going to come out now as I have a layover in Ethiopia which I have to say is surprisingly cold at the moment. Another odd thing is that I am waiting in the terminal and almost everyone is black which I am of course used to but I just thought that since I am going to the US I would see more white people. Also a lot of them are gorgeous. Also I am carrying a 2 ½ foot tall giraffe with me throughout this journey so this must be getting some laughs from some people but I am really excited about it, I think it is going to Andrew’s house warming gift.
So lets tell ya about this month, it has been a whirlwind as usual. I started out the month with a good bye party for Claire which I think I already talked about and then I headed up to Tanga which is on the coast for a Training of Trainers seminar. I am going to be teaching the new volunteers so I got a trip up north which was awesome because I did not necessarily associate the north with happy times. I mean homestay is such a weird time. So much is going on and I also do not like to visit places that I have left. Not sure if this makes sense but I rarely go back to places I used to work and so on and so forth I am not sure why, I just do not. Anyways Tanga was AMAZING. I had a great time with amazing people. I got to go swimming in the ocean which of course was amazing and then I ate a ton of good food. I had coconut crab which was huge, I expected maybe a claw or 2. I swear I got to whole crabs, all for like $6. Ya got to love the sea. Then me and my Friend Rebecca saw some monkeys so of course we went to look at them and right as she went to take a picture they started running at us. So we ran like hell. Not sure if they would of actually hurt me but who wants to take that chance I have enough problems with animals as it is. After this I went to Dodoma because we are planning a girl’s conference with about 8 other volunteers. I am really excited about this because this means a lot of interaction with other volunteers which is always fun and the girls will get to see a new place and meet some new people.
As for work, I have been really busy. Randi and me got 15 boxes of books each from an NGO
called PEN TRUST. It was amazing, we were thinking that we would get like a box or 2 but no we got like 700 books each. So I think are secondary schools are on cloud 9 at the moment with this one. And to top it all off, it was all free we just had to go pick them up. Then just before I left my chickens started showing up. I got the cocks first. They each weigh about 2 K and are going to grown to about 7 each which means that I am going to be really, really scared of them. Because as it is already, they surround me anytime I walk outside and start attacking me. I really wish I was making this up but it is the truth. I feel like I am under house arrest. I also have reason to believe that they think my feet are food because of the green nail polish. I also go the chicks. So at the moment there are 114 chickens living at my house with 84 arriving while I am out of the country. Hopefully everything goes well while I am gone. Which I think it will. They seem to have it under control and are really pulling their weight at the moment which is really good.
On to other things, in Dar I saw 2 horrible things this month. First I saw a mob justice killing. I was at a restaurant and saw a bunch of people running after this man. He was running and running and tons of people were running after him. They surrounded him and killed him. The police showed up with guns and pretty much threw the body in the back of the truck and continued to drive. I was with one of my friends who was a police man and he said that that would not make the paper and a few of those happen every day which is really sad. Then yesterday night while I was waiting for my dinner a fight broke up down the road. All of a sudden people started running to fight, luckily the fight was broken up but I saw a few people running that way with machete’s in their hands. It’s a rough world.
I also walked to and from my house to Mpwapwa one day. It about killed me. I just am not that in shape. But I think I am going to try and run the ½ marathon. I think Randi and Dana talked me into this. I have a lot of training to do if I am going to do this but I think it would be really fun and I would love to cross this off my bucket list. The only problem I am having with this is that is so FREAKIN hot. I swear it just keeps getting hotter. Bring on the rain I really need some new weather. Also we went 8 days last week without water. I am not sure how I am going to explain this to people if the future. I live such a crazy life can you even imagine try to tell people about this. This absolutely trumps the I walked 5 miles up hill in the winter to school. I might even say this trumps Grandma Preston and Grandma Witte’s walk to school but not sure that is a fight I could win.
As for research, I think it is still going. I have to say I think I have become a very good volunteer because I just keep trying to put off my research and push it out of my mind. Still do not have a good reason why, I am just that good and procrastinating. I really want to do research I am just really scared of screwing it up really, really bad. I know this is all my own fault and it is mostly in my head but still that is a lot of pressure. I would rather keep my pressure at a minimum and just keep pushing it off at least until I get back.
November 19, 2011
So I am back in TZ and as usual have mixed feelings about the entire thing. It is weird I was all gung-ho about PC before I left but then I came home and of course and not feeling it as much. I think this might also have something to do with the fact that my chicken project went to shit while I was gone. I do understand that it was partly my fault and partly the women’s groups fault. But the thing is I gave them every resource at their disposal before I left. I left them numbers of the vet, agriculture officer, money for medicine, and even a phone in case something happened and still I think over ½ the chickens died. It just sucks from both sides but I am trying to look forward. I do realize that my expectations for what I want to accomplish have already gone down more. I now am second guessing most of the projects that I still have planned to do that involve other people. I know that sounds ridiculous but I do not want to do things that are not going to work. Although I knew when I started the chicken project that this was a possibility and really my main goal was to get the chickens out of the houses, so I guess I achieved that goal but I am just really discouraged now.
But I was guess it is not that big of a deal, I am getting ready to switch gears and try to put myself more into a school set of mind and focus on my research and writing a first draft of my research paper. Really need to buckle down and try and work on it because that would be a really good use of my time I think.
I think I am also glad that I went home for a second time because it gives me a chance to breath and take a look at what I am doing and what I still want to accomplish. So from that standpoint again it was good that I came home and of course it was a BLAST. I got to see a ton of people, go to Ashleigh’s wedding, and meet the newest Witte.
Also exciting news, I am going to be a bridesmaid twice next year, once for my friend Lindsey and then for Jenna Barr who also asked me to be her maid of honor which is pretty cool. Just thought I would let everyone know if they didn’t already. There are going to be a lot of weddings next year and hopefully I will be home for all of them, cross your fingers.
Also this is going to be interesting because I told all my villagers that I was going to the south of the country and not home. I just did not want to have to deal with all the questions and everything but not sure yet how to explain my new watch and sneakers. I think I am going to just tell them that my mom sent me a package. I wonder if they will believe me. Also freaking out a little about my Swahili for some reason it seems like forever compared to other times when I have left.
Being home I also got asked a lot what I planned to do after I finish school and I have to say that is a good question I really have no idea. I had the idea for a few days of going to get my PHD but really I have no clue so not sure if that is really the best idea. Doesn’t that just put off the inevitable of having to find a job but I would at least be qualified for something. Then today I was thinking that maybe I would like to live in Alaska or CO so then I was thinking what types of jobs I want to do and what I want to work with. Again no clue. I do know that I like when things are more analytical and really liked working in the chemistry labs so I was trying to think of what I would like to do. And then the question of government vs private comes up with just adds more decisions. And worst yet I do not feel qualified to even work at McDonalds at the moment. I feel like all that great chemistry and forestry knowledge that I had just flew away which stinks. So if you are still reading this I think your head probably is spinning as much as mine. SO in the end I still have no clue what I want to do or be when I grow up. Then you have to add that I do love GR and would love to live there but I also think it is the place I want to settle down and I am not sure if I am ready to do that yet. The world is just so big. I do know that I do not what to do international work I think and do not want to live overseas for long periods of time but that is all that I have. And knowing me I could probably be persuaded back into it. Not sure how my brain works but I always end up remembering the good stuff and completely forget the bad stuff which I guess is a good thing until I end up in PC again or something.
November 22, 2011
I think I have had the worst jet lag ever here. All I can tell ya is that I have slept almost every waking minute since I got off the plane and am sleepy the rest of the time. Just cannot seem to get used to the time. This of course also puts me up at the crack of dawn. But at least it gives me time to think and everything before the day gets going. As I have said when I went home and here, I have mixed feelings about being in PC. I am like a roller coaster when it comes to everything. My mom would also tell you I am sure that it kills her because some days I want to come home that instance and other days I want to extend. Not sure how that works but it does. I think it has something to do with being wrapped up in this PC and culture and wanting to accomplish so much, which is very interesting considering I have hardly accomplished anything at least when it comes to projects, I think thought from learning a new culture stand point I am going good. I mean I cannot speak the language fluently but I can get by and get what I want, I can cook their food, and have friends in the village. I think I am teaching them my culture but not as well. Certain things just are not worth it. Like how we do not like being called fat. I have explained it a few times but they are just so proud when they tell me how fat I am how am I to tell them we do not like that. But I think I am doing an ok job of explaining American culture and leading by example. The only problem is I swear some days it is so hard to get out if the house to even walk around and talk with people in general.
So after much thinking and everything , I guess at least at the current moment I am ok with my situation I mean I am learning some pretty interesting things. I would like however to be more effective at doing projects, but I have kind of giving up on that. I have already decided the last 3 projects I am going to do and then I am done. It is really nerve racking. I am also only doing these projects with certain groups. I know this sounds bad, but it is already killing me with these groups, I cannot take on any more and at least I know these people I can somewhat rely on.
When I got back to the village I found out just how much chickens have died. 100 to be exact. That leaves about 60 still alive. I have been kicking myself all up and down trying to figure out how it could have been done differently. Before I left I gave them money for medicine, a phone with voucher to call people, plenty of food and water, and the numbers of any possible person that might be of use to them. And I still wondering if it would have made a difference if I would have been here, but judging how I reacted to one bird just being sick, I do not think it would have been good. I really think I would have had a major melt down on the degree of last year. It just sucks because there is not much else that could be done, but in the matter of days I went from a good project that I was proud of to I am not sure what at the moment.
So with this project not going as planned and then hearing of other volunteers projects that are also not going as planned, I have to say that I am not big on the project band wagon at the moment. It just stinks, you think you are going to be able to do something but really in the end what most people want is things for free and to not have to do anything to get them. It just sucks.
Also here is something else to add from my village, my mweyekiti (mayor) while I was gone attempted to sell my chickens luckily Jessica was here to stop him and then today he tried asking me for money, a lot of it. Again Jesscia saw my reaction and said just to say that I did not have any. It just sucks. This paired with before I left people were asking why I was not going to do such and such projects only to have to tell them that I actually had planned on it but nobody followed though I what I needed from them. From that stand point, it almost stinks, knowing that the bulk of what I am doing is worthless but what are ya going to do, you have to at least try, although I have to say as a result of trying so much with little result I think it has definitely jaded me some and I at some times do not speak the greatest of TZ but at the same time there are also a lot of good things here. But at the moment I have to say the bad overwhelms the good.
So as of right now, this leaves me to try and work hard on my research and get the bulk of it done in the next few months while also trying to do some small projects. I really want to have a lot of my research project done and in somewhat of a rough draft form before I get back so that it is more of a revision type thing than a O GOD thing. Hopefully that works out. I think I am almost ready to start the actual research so that is good, although of course at the same time scary as hell.
As for how I am coping being the village, it kind of sucks at the moment. I am hoping that the new volunteers will want to hang out more and do things because at the moment nobody really wants to do anything. Paul is more of a loner but I think I might try and get him to play cards once a week and then Randi I think I have lost to the village again. Although this time it is to a boy and a farm which is good for her, but I am pretty sure I will never see her now unless I go to her village, which is fine but I do not necessarily want to be around TZ and in the village when I leave mine. And Jake and Claire have left so that kind of sucks but hopefully some new volunteers will come in. we could use some fresh faces. Tanya is usually down for doing something it just stinks because we live kind of far from each other. I am not sure how she does it, she lives off by herself. She copes with it really good, not sure I could do it with no one around.
November 23, 2011
Still not quite over the jet lag but that is alright because I actually slept through the night last night. Something that very rarely happens here. Not sure when that will happen again though. I talked to the man that bought all my chickens today and he said that some of them might have had a disease but how it spread was because so many chickens were in such a small area. That really sucks. It sucks too because when he told them they need more space, they refused to believe him. Old Jessica tried to tell them that to but I am not really sure what has happened but I get the vibe not everyone cares to much for her. Not really sure what happened there. But anyways they said they were not going to do anything until I came back which stinks. Why can’t they think for themselves and why do I have to hold there hands the entire way it just stinks.
Also not really sure yet what is happening for thanksgiving so far plans have been all over the place which is fine but I really want to be with people and hang out so not sure what is going to happen. I do know that I am not going to be alone though because I cannot imagine that will be good for me, especially after being home. So at the moment it might be in a hotel room in Dodoma or at my friend Tanya’s house. Not sure yet depends on certain people and what they decide they want to do.
I have also come to the conclusion that I have a really hard time saying no to people and that I always try to make everyone happy which is probably good but it is making me insane, this thanksgiving planning is turning into way to much effort when all I wanted to do was spend it with people.
Also really, really love my kindle. I am having a hard time putting it down to do actual work. Luckily not to much actual work is needed at the moment considering I am at a standstill with my chickens and not really sure where to go from there.
December 10, 2011
It has been a long time since my last blog, mostly because I was really just too busy and entertaining people. So I will try and get everything in. I went to Tanya’s house for Thanksgiving which was really fun because I have not been to her house yet so that was nice to visit. We did not do to much, mostly I read my Kindle and we hung out. It is interesting how different our villages and lives are considering we are both here doing about the same thing.
Then I had 2 new volunteers come and stay with me for a week which was awesome. I showed them what it was like to live in a village and tried to give them a few pointers. Not sure if they were helpful or not. We went on a hike everyday in my mountains and then did yoga at night. It was great. I probably also ate better at my site than I ever had. It was a blast, I need to get more people over to my house, it is so much fun.
Then Tanya and me went up to Tanga to teach the new class about working with people in there community. It was really great but really hard to answer some of their questions and give them an idea of what it is really going to be like because it is so different for everyone. Also really crazy to look and see what I was like when I first got here. I really wish I was that way now. Now I think I have a very negative view of aid and TZ, but more on that later. It was great but I never thought I would be so excited to get back to Dodoma, it is so humid and hot up there.
I talked to my dad and I think he is coming the end of Feb and we are going to run a ½ marathon together. Or at least start it together. I am pretty sure that he is going to kick my butt, but either way it is going to be great. I also think Stephi might think that we are running up the mountain. I really hope she continues to think this.
OK so my mind is really f-ed up at the moment. I left Dodoma today to come back to the village and then whole time all I could think of how I am not doing anything or making a difference anywhere. And how I do not want to do any projects because nothing is going to work and I do not think they use the knowledge that I give them at all. I just do not know I feel kind of like I am doing nothing here and then I think of what people in the village think of me. Do they think I have done anything. I mean they gave me this house to live in to help better the community and I honestly am not sure if I have helped at all. I know PC has 3 goals and only the first is about development but it is hard to think about it that way. I mean what am I doing here if they do not want my help. I then went to Mpwapwa and had a discussion with Mathayo about this. He did not necessarily help the situation because he is just as frustrated. He thinks that the gogo people are just really lazy or at least ok with living how they have lived forever. But how can that be if they asked for a PC volunteer. I cannot figure it out. And then I think with the projects that I have done did I really help them at all or was it me doing what I wanted. Did I really give them what they wanted and need. And honestly I can not answer this and it is sad to say that it is almost to late. I mean I am still going to do a few projects but really there is not that much time left at least for anything big. I am not sure what I expected coming into PC but this was not it which is crazy because I really did not know what to expect but then again I am not really sure why/how I ended up here. I mean I really do like it because it was a good way to get my masters but at the same time why am I getting my masters. I have no clue what I am going to do and really I am not sure if I am qualified to do anything after being here for 2 years. Sure I can survive in a different culture and country but how does that cross over to work. I am not sure. I feel like everything I have learned as melted away. Not really sure where this is going, I think I am just rambling. But anyways I got back to site and I am still struggling with what to do with village and how to help better at least one person’s life. But it is crazy I am not as stressed as I thought I would be being back here. But then again it is only the first day. I also think this has something to do with Claire being gone to, although Randi is still here. It is just not the same. We are going two different ways without PC service and she is really busy with her own problems and such. After all of this I still think I am glad that I am doing PC but I have to say does it really have to be this hard, I really think that there are better ways to go about this.
The other thing that is bothering me is I am not sure what my thoughts on AID are anymore. Before coming here I thought that it was a great thing but I did not really know anything about it. I just figured they helped people better their lives but now I am not sure if it is such a good thing. I mean there are good things that come out of aid but at the same time I kind of think there has to be a better way to help people. But a lot of people think that just nobody has come up with a better way to help people better themselves. But then I think do these people really need to better themselves. Would it be so bad if we left them as they were and let them live their lives how they want to. I mean my village seems happy with the way things are.
Another thing that started all of this is old Jessica asked one of the volunteers for money. I am not sure what to make of this yet. Tanya said that maybe she understood wrong but I really think that if I understand that sentence most people do as my Swahili is not that good but I could be wrong. But this brings me to what do I do about this. I disappoints me so much I just do not understand why she would do this, she knows that I do not give out money. I saw her once after this and I just got a pit in my stomach I just do not know what to do. I am going to try and just forget it or possibly just avoid her but I just cannot believe that this happened.
Also young Jessica planting my whole garden while I was in the shower. I cannot believe her she is like superman. I wish I could be as good a friend to her as she is to me. She is amazing. I also wish I had the vocabulary to say how I felt but hopefully she gets it. She has to be one of the best things about this village and I can honestly say that if she was not here I would not be here. She helps me so much. She is the one that also told me one day when I was crying in her house that my work here was not done yet. She defiantly is a gift from God.
Sorry this was a lot of rambling but I feel a lot better and a lot more clear which is really really good because I have not be feeling so hot about how everything is going here and honestly I am really happy that I have my research here because it defiantly keeps me here and keeps me going. It gives me a reason to stay.
Also I got home and my house was locked from the inside because I apparently shut the door to hard. So instead of trying to figure away to unlock it we just knocked a hole into the door. So now I have a huge hole in the side of my door. Wonder what kind of animals I am going to attract.
December 12, 2011
I am not sure why this, but I have not been able to turn my computer on at night the last 2 nights to blog. I am not sure why this is, I have all these thoughts in my head I just find myself having a hard time turning my computer on. Luckily I needed to finish my homework today so I thought that I would blog first.
Things are going good in the village. I am feeling a little better about being here. I am still trying to figure out my projects and everything but things are looking up. It just stinks that I am not sure what I can and cannot get done here. I know that I have lots of time here still but at the same time everything takes so long that I do need to think about time at the same time. So yeah still have a lot of thinking to do.
After 2 days of laundry and cleaning my house, I almost have it back to normal although looking in the past I have decided that there is nothing normal about living here. I have never had one of those schedules to tell me what I am going to do on which day although I really wish I have more of a schedule because I think that would make me feel better or at least give me some purpose at the moment. Luckily I have the next 2 days to finish my homework and figure out projects. After that I am not sure what I am going to do but that will keep me busy for a bit and then I also have to work out everyday so there is something else. I am only up to 3 miles but it feels good so hopefully the miles will just keep on coming although I am finding it hard to wake up in the mornings. Not sure why, I think it might have something to do with the fact that it is so quite here and a little chilly which I really like but also I think a little of it is that I am in a rut and am just thinking what is the point. I know this is not the case but I cannot seem to get myself out of this. I know there are people here that want to do and accomplish things, this chicken project has just upset me more than I thought. I thought that I could fool myself into thinking that we did perform the goals and everything but I still have in the back of my mind that that there are lots of chickens dead. And I know this not necessarily my fault but at the same time I feel like I could of helped if I was here so that is kind of weighing me down. And it probably doesn’t help that it is Christmas time. I think Christmas is going to be good this year, we are going to a missionaries house up north which should be fun. Tanya went last year and said it was really nice and fun and reminded her of being with her family so I am really excited for that. I then thought I had plans for the new year, but now I am not so sure. So stuff has come up so now I am not really sure what I want to do.
I am kind of all over the place if you cannot tell. But I am still trudging a long. I really want to start my research and get that done with too. I cannot believe how long it is taking but I know this is my fault because I am so slow at getting things done. I just want to make sure I get it done in time so that if I find out that I forgot something, I can fix it before
I leave and have not messed up all of my research and data.
It IS REALLy weird how you start out the day in one mood and then you switch it. This morinign I wanted nothing more than to leave Africa forever and not return. I was on the verge of tears and honestly really scared that I was falling back into a depression and what I was like last October. But it is crazy instead of running from everything, I stayed in my village and worked through things. I then went over to young Jessica’s and this made me feel a whole lot better. I just do not understand how I can be so all over the place and want to leave so bad one minute and then finding myself thinking how could I ever leave this place. I have a little Dr. Jeykl and Mr. Hyde in me I think. But what ever happened, I worked through it and feel a ton better. I really hope this wasn’t a fluke and this continues.
December 15, 2011
It is crazy how all the days run together and so much can happen. Yesterday I had my women’s group meeting and I am somewhat back on cloud 9 with them. I am not sure if they are really that genuine or not but we planned some more projects and I see good things in our future. I really hope I am right because the chicken loss was enough almost to have me throw in the towel. So we will see. I think that they are going to attempt to make and sell the soap that I taught them to make a bit ago because they said that they want to by the peanuts, corn, and sorghum at a low price and sell at a high. Which I think is great idea and they came up with it all on their own. I think that is great but of course there is a lot of talk so we will see what their actions are. Me and Randi went in to town today and got fuel efficient stoves made which actually turned out to be a lot more expensive than I would have figured. But I am really excited to make them because I think it is actually something that could really benefit them and could help them make life a little easier. I guess we will have to see what the first one looks like and how good or bad this project goes, but at least it gives me something to look forward too.
Randi also came to my village last night which was awesome because I love seeing and hanging out with her. I have to say I am actually really blest with the region and everything that I got. I have great friends and actually a really nice view when there is rain but it can also be a nightmare and I am sure other volunteers in TZ will tell you how glad they are that they did not get my site which is partly true but at the same time you obviously make site what it is and usually everyone falls in love with their site no matter how good or bad it is.
My body is also in shabbles today. Not sure what happened but in my preparation for my dad and mine’s half marathon my body turned on me at one point and now it feels like death. Luckily I am still hanging out with Randi so I know that she will make sure I get out of bed tomorrow morning to run. Which I also have to do anyways because my dad is beating me already in miles run. How can he do that, shouldn’t I be able to run circles around him seeing that I am half his age. But apparently age has nothing to do with it, this might also be why betty and all those other people were able to pass me on the bike trip. Not sure if there is anything worse than a 70 year old grandma leaving you in the dust as you try to bike up a hill. Although I did have a ton of fun on the bike trip, it was so much fun.
Also it rained so much as so fast yesterday, that I thought for a minute I was in the middle of a snow storm and of course it made me so so happy until I realized Oh yeah I live in TZ. But it was great because now my tank is full and I have so much water. On cloud 9 again with another thing. How my mood changes so often I will never know. I will be really happy when I return home and my moods all go back into check but it is kind of nice that you can become super super happy all of a sudden but it is also horrible when it goes the other way. Luckily I think I am back in control of my feeling and everything at least for a while. I have a lot to look forward to and a lot to do still. I still have not done my research which really scares me but I think I still have plenty of time I am just worried as usual about it. Also I have to say that as ready as I am to leave already, I must not be as ready as I think because I still find myself thinking about the future here and how wonderful of a life that I have and how amazing it is to live here, so I think I am just on crack as usual and seem to not really have a firm grasp on what exactly I want. Or maybe I just want to much and it is so easy to go back home to what I know, I just do not know.
Another hole ended up in my house again today. I just cannot understand it, first off nothing in this country is built very well, my house included. Today Jessica took a pipe to it and now I have 2 holes in my house. One for if my door looks itself again and another if it rains hard. Which also means I just increased my chances significantly about sharing my house with others, hopefully dad’s best friend doesn’t make his way into my house too.
December 16,2011
Woke up this morning and went for a run with Randi. It was really fun to have someone to run. We talked as we ran which was great because I do not think that I have done that since cross country in high school is was great. Then me and Randi made food and then went around her village and hung out with some villagers. They had a big flea market today so we went and walked around a little bit but it was really intimidating with all of the people especially to when most of them have been drinking. So of course I had a lot of selective hearing which is good now but is going to be really bad when I get back home.
December 17,2011
I came back from Randi’s village today and I had to stand for 2 hours. I really thought I was going to passout. I am really glad that I did not because that would have been really embarrassing but it was crazy I was having a really hard time breathing and I am not sure why.
I then got into town and waited in true TZ fashion for Mathayo. It took him 3 hours to get to the market. Crazy how time is all over the place for people but it turned out great because we went to the carpenter and I got a frame to make fuel efficient stoves. I am really excited.
I have to say it is really crasy though. I just cannot understand my moods. I go from wanting to get out of here right this minute to wanting to stay here a while longer. This emotional roller coaster is killing me at the moment. I came back and hung out with young Jessica though and it was really really fun. I have such a good time talking with her. She understands me so well. Today we were talking about how life here is just so hard and it is hard to get a head. It just sucks. I am trying to help her out but she is right there is just a lot to do and really not that many business opportunities in the village. I do not know how I am going to help her yet but I really want to help her because she helps me every day and is like a older sister/ mother to me. I would do anything for her. I just am not sure what the best thing to do for her yet is. I told her she needs to relax and rest a little every now and then but her response is I still have this, this, and this to do. Which she is right, but it just stinks.
I watched the Family Stone last night which might explain my mood a bit. I love this movie but it makes me miss home and everyone way to much. I cannot wait until next Christmas already at Grandma’s and Uncle Jerry’s. I know it is a long ways a way but I am really excited for it already anyways.
December 20, 2011
Not really sure what is going on but I am having a hard time blogging every night. My mind is fine until I go to bed and turning on my computer is the last thing I want to do. It is really weird. Also I think has to do with the fact that I have been reading on my kindle a lot. I am so happy that I got this because I get to read so much more but at the same time I am not sure if this is such a good thing. I find myself reading more than anything else at the moment. Luckily there is not a lot to do around here because everyone is going to their farms to plant which I could go to help but that is just a really really long day and I am not really in the mood lately. I have decided that I really need to know when I am done here which I might have blogged about last time but I think this is going to put me and my mind back on track.
I spent all day yesterday making Christmas cards for all of my friends. I am really excited for the missionaries house. My friend says that it is like little America so I am really ecxcited and it will be nice to spend it with people and just hangout and play games. I really miss being home and playing games with everyone especially cards which is kind of weird I am not sure that I play that many games. Although I really do miss playing euckre and set back. But then again that just makes me also think of the cottage which I always miss.
December 20, 2011
I talked to Randi today and she told me that after the rain storm came last night 3 people were dead. Crazy. She said that they all had got swept away in the rain because it was raining so hard. But they all also had been drinking at the bar all night so that did not help them but still really scary. I honestly would never guess that could happen when there is not a flowing river involved. She also said that she cannot get out of her village at all because the roads are so bad. This makes me really happy that I am not where she is because I would be devastated if had to stay in the village for Christmas. But she wants to stay so it all
works out as it should I guess.
Also I made chocolate chip cranberry oatmeal cookies today and gingerbread cookies. They are actually all bars though because I was lazy which stinks because I really wanted to make ginger bread men but I did not want to wait for the charcoal to finally start going. Which by the way it did after 2 hours. Who has this kind of time? But I made cookies so tomorrow I am going to hand them out to the Jessicas and Talita and maybe a select other few but I am not sure who they are yet. I also made Christmas cards for them. Although I hope old J forgives me because I was suppose to go to her house almost everyday this week but did not because I was to lazy. I just do not feel like hanging out with tanzos at the moment which I know is not good but it just sounds like to much work and I would rather stay home and read my kindle. Which by the way at the moment I am hugely addicted too.
December 21, 2011
Happy first day of winter. I ran this morning and now can hardly move. I think my cross training workout yesterday really did me in. Luckily I have a few days to recover. But this also meant that I spent today lounging around the house. I think I have a problem I do not necessarily feel to depressed or anything I just cannot seem to get out and really do not feel like it to much at the moment. Most people are at their farms anyways. I don’t know.
So I had a women’s group meeting today and I could have killed all the ladies in it. They are all outraged about the chickens and what it really boils down to is that they do not want to take responsibility for the chickens. I could just scream they kept asking me more and more questions and I am pretty sure they could tell that I was frustrated. I just do not understand what they do not get. I am bringing more chickens because I still have not got them all yet and then they are going into the community. It is crazy, I never saw this as my problem. It is like they are scared to take responsibility for them which is weird because they have chickens at home but maybe it is like me and my research.
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